Run (John O'Callaghan Fanfiction)

Chapter 4 - John

The rest of the day is totally bland. Walking, seeing, but not really feeling. It's not that I'm upset or anything. I just can't get that girl out of my head. Lyric. Is that how it's spelled? I don't know. If I ever see her again maybe I can ask her. Why am I thinking so hard on this? I barely saw her for 5 minutes. I'm crazy. I decide to wrap this up for the day and head home. What else is there to even do? I've done exactly what I'd planned to. 

The trip home is uneventful, and I'm not even really paying attention to anything. I'm lost in thought. Not necessarily about one single thing, but there's something that does come up every once in a while, and I force it to the back of my mind every time. Lyric. Why am I thinking about it so much? I really have no clue. 

Home. Making food. Laying on the couch. Doing nothing. Playing guitar. Thinking. I want to stop thinking. It's not really working out for me. What do I need to sort this thing out? A drink. That's what I need. I pour myself a whiskey and take a seat on the couch once again. 

Being off tour is almost as stressful as being on tour. Probably moreso. I have way too much time on my hands.  I feel like I have nothing to do with myself, almost. I have no set purpose. Nowhere to be. Nothing set to do. No practicing. Nothing. It's an odd feeling, after you've been on tour for so many months. It's been almost nonstop touring for a year. It'll take time to get used to not being needed at some place at a certain time every day. That's what's gonna do it for me. 

I'm not needed right now. That's not a good feeling. 

The fact of the matter is, I shouldn't be laying here questioning everything. I just played so many shows to so many screaming fans that told me how much I was appreciated, how in the world could I ever think that I'm not?

I finish my glass of whiskey and climb into bed. Sleep. I need sleep, too.