Sunshine Dreams

Five

The first thing I notice is the skyline.

It is simply beautiful.

The city is covered in a haze that some may call environmentally unfriendly but I find it beautiful. I hold my repeating Los Angeles bag similar to my New York and Boston bag. I sit at the terminal and wait for the next taxi to take me to the hotel where I'll be staying. As I look around, I sigh. I see the people all happy. Holding guitars, reading scripts, I see paparazzi. It's all overwhelming to be honest. I get out my photo album.

I see photos of me and my family. We are all smiling together. Happy and enjoying each other's company. I want to cry honestly. My parents have always said to me. Don't be an actress. Don't be a musician. But here I am. Trying to reach that goal. Amazing how life works isn't it. They've already had their time to make their mark and now they want to live through me. They want the success they didn't have through me. There they are at home thinking I'm gonna be some big shot lawyer or doctor.

I can't stand the insides of anything.

Court rooms bore me.

Funny how I can't be happy for myself without my parents getting angry. But I guess this is what I need. Space from it all.

I sees taxi pull up at the curb. The driver is a redhead. She looks like she just came from the beach with a sun-kissed glow. Her hair look like beach waves. Her eyes are brown and welcoming. I step into the car.

"Welcome to California. Where would you like to go?"

I tell her the address of the Holiday Inn I'm supposed to be staying at. She smiles at me and pulls away. Behind me I see the LAX sign. I look at it and see. This was the moment where I knew. I'm here.

And I'm not leaving until I succeed.

***

On the way to the hotel Taylor (as I've learned her name to be) tells me all about Los Angeles. Turns out she's a senior at UCLA. She tells me about Hollywood blvd, Beverly Hills, the beaches, shops, places to eat and just the general culture. We pull up to the hotel and as she gives me my back she gives me hug. She gets into the car and before pulling out she looks at me.

"Good luck out there Tara."

Taylor drove off.

***

I thought about calling Emma but decide not to. After all it's 6pm here meaning 9pm in New York. It didn't take me long to realize that my New England attire wasn't going to work well with this west coast heat. I grab a couple bucks and head to the Grove. Taylor told me that it's affordable and has everything I'll need. I call a taxi and head downstairs. I leave my room and go wait by the elevator door. As I wait I see someone coming from down the hall. I turn away and pretend like I haven't seen them.

"Judging by the not-so-friendly attitude I'm going guess you're from the east coast."

Oh lord.

I turn slowly like if I turn to fast I'll look desperate.

"Oh sorry. Hi. I'm Tara. Sorry I didn't know you saw me."

"Hey it's okay. We're all friends here."

He smiles.

Words cannot describe how beautiful he is. His brown hair is long and swept to the side like skateboarder. He's muscular but not too muscular. The kind of build that is perfect. He's tall. Oh gosh he's tall. He towers a good 7-8 inches above me and I'm 5'5".

"By the way I'm Parker."

"Cool."

"I'm a sophomore at UCLA."

"Cool."

"Born and raised here."

"Sweet."

He laughs again.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry. You're just so."

"So what? East coast?"

"Well I mean." he laughs again.

"What is that supposed to mean."

"I mean. You're just so. Gosh. Don't take this the wrong way. Cold?"

"Oh. Well I'm sorry that I don't know and can't just be like 'HEY WHATS UP'"

"That's not what I meant I-"

"Not what you meant huh? okay sure. Sure that's not what you meant."

"I'm serious. Look calm down-"

"No I won't. You just offended me and made fun of me and somehow this is soooo funny to you."

"It's not I'm just-"

"Yeah okay yeah sure. You know what? I don't need this Parker you know? just no okay. Let me just go. Let me go before my east coastness bothers you anymore."

"Wait Tara-"

I walk into the elevator and shut the door. I go down into the lobby and out the door. I get into my taxi and tell them where to go. I think about crying but I stop myself.

No boy is allowed to have my tears again.

***

I wander around the Grove for about 30 minutes until I walk into Pacsun. I see some distressed shorts and a lime green chiffon tank top. I run into the dressing room and try it on. I walk out and look in the mirror.

"Nice outfit. It'd be perfect with the black sandals."

I turn and see a blonde girl behind me. She looks like Allison from this show Pretty Little Liars that I still watch so it kind of scared me at first. But this one looks more friendly. Her hair is in golden blonde beach waves. She's dressed in the exact pair of shorts I've tried on but with a pink version of the top I chose. I see her holding a second pair of black gladiator sandals.

"Are you a size 9?"

"Yeah"

"Here try them."

"Thanks!"

I try them on and she's right. They matched perfectly.

"Oh wow thanks! These looks amazing."

"You're welcome." She holds out her hand. "McKenna."

"Tara."

"Incoming freshman?"

"Yeah!"

"USC or UCLA."

"UCLA."

"Sweet! I'm in my sophomore year of UCLA. Well you know. Starting in a few days anyways. You'll love it here."

"I think I already do."

We walk together to the cash registers. She tells me about how she's here to pursue modeling. Judging by her looks she's perfect for it.

"Ok Hun. Now go to the fitting room and put those on."

"Why?" I ask puzzled.

"Because. Your clothes + this heat = disaster."

I laugh and I go change.

"There. Happy now?"

"Yes. Now come on." She grabs my arm. "We have only begun my dear."

I smile. I forget about leaving Massachusetts. I forget about Parker. I forget about my parents. And at this moment. I realize.

I'm home.

This is where I belong.

Hello Los Angeles.