The Boy Online

I Won't Give In

"Are you okay?" Oliver asked
"I-i just d-don't want to go inside" I said looking down at my feet
"Why not? Shelby who's car is that?" Oliver said raising his voice a little
"B-because I just don't want to..." my voice trailed off
"Start the car and drive now" I said reaching for the keys.
"No" Oliver said in a stern voice.
Oliver looked at me and held my face in his hands. "It's okay Shelby. Just breathe." I inhaled and exhaled.
"Tell me whose car that is"
"It's... it's my dad's car..."
Oliver went silent. I looked up at him. His face was full with anger. Oliver got out of the car and slammed the door. I followed after him. Oliver walked towards the door.
"Oliver wait!!" I yelled
He turned around and looked at me.
"This is my battle... I need to tell him how I feel. I ran away from this for too long... and now it's my time to fight back." I stood in front of the door waiting. I could hear them yelling. They always yelled at one another and I hated it. These awful memories came back to me. Oliver was right behind me. "I'm right behind you" Oliver whispered into my ear. He held my had tightly. I barged into the house and there they were in the living room. "What's going on here!!!" I yelled. The room went silent. And my mom looked at me.
"Shelby it's okay he came to apologize." Mom said
"APOLOGIZE?!!! APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A COMPLETE ASSHOLE TO YOU? FOR HURTING OUR FAMILY? FOR ABUSING US??!!!" I yelled. Oliver let go of my hand. From the corner of my eye, I could see the pain and hatred in his eyes. Oliver knew what I've been through in life. My mother and father always fought. My dad used to hit my mom and I just watched. The day He left I felt relief.
"I know it sounds wierd Shelby but you have to find fogiveness in you and in your father." My mom said
My dad just stood there. I was so angry with him, I just wanted to punch him in the face and make him bleed.
"Find fogiveness? In him?!!" I yelled pointing at my father
"Do you know what I've been through?! I've seen dad break you and tear you apart. When you were together with him, you were depressed!! I don't need a father!! We are just fine by ourselves!" At this point I was in tears yelling. My dad stepped towards me and I stepped back. Oliver stepped in front of me. His fist clenched.
"Don't get any closer" Oliver said
"Okay okay" dad said.
"Sweetie. I've missed you, you've grown up so beautifully just like your mom." He touched my face with his hand and I grimaced.
"Don't touch me" I said Tears falling down my face. I hit his hand away from my face and Oliver pushed him into the couch. Oliver stepped closer to my dad and looked at him.
"You son of a bitch, you think you can just come in hear and expect to get your family back? It's not that simple. You've hurt Shelby emotionally,  you've hurt her mom deeply. I've seen these two girls put up with your shit for 10 years!! Shelby's called me many times crying about you!!" Oliver pushed my dad again. "You're not going to get this family back! They're done with you. So go back to your little slutty girlfriend and think about what you lost." The room was quiet. I walked over to my dad. Looked him in the eyes, and I slapped him. I slapped him hard his face turned red. "You know? I remember those names you called me... and you know what I did?" Dad just looked at me. I took off the flannel and I pointed at my scars. "I cut myself, each scar is for the time you called me worthless, a disappointment, and a slut!! Every time you hurt mom. I hurt myself!!" Tears were in my eyes. Dad looked down, he was ashamed and huert. "Look at them dammit!!!" I yelled
"It's hurts doesn't it? How would like it if I called you names?!" He still didn't look up at me. My mom was crying and Oliver had tears in his eyes. "Just leave, leave us alone!!!Never come back!!! You're not welcome here! This is my house! My mom worked her ass off to get us here! You can't take it away from us!!" He got up off the couch. Looked at me and I walked to the door. He left. I looked at Oliver and I hugged him. I cried into his arms. And I hugged my mom. "You can do better mom. You're beautiful, your a strong independent woman and any guy would be lucky to have you as a wife. I never want to see you broken again... we have to stick together." I said into her ear.
My mom sobbed and patted my head. "I know Shelby. Thank you." We stayed like that for awhile.
My mom and I got cleaned up.
"I had no idea you cut yourself" mom said.
"No one knew... I decided to tell everyone today... it was killing me on the inside... I haven't cut for awhile now... Oliver really helped me out"
My mom looked at oliver. "You have a wonderful boyfriend Shelby, he's a keeper" I looked over to Oliver who was in the kitchen.
"Yes. Yes I do..." I said.
We walked into the kitchen and Oliver was making us dinner. He made spaghetti with garlic toast. We all sat together at the dinner table and ate as a family. I loved this feeling I  had inside... it's like I found myself again. I was loved...