Melancholic Compendium

/4/ From A Human Anti- Depressor

Story # 4

WARNING: If you are easily triggered by a certain article that is all about private and sensitive matters (such as depression) PLEASE don't try to read. It is just a result of my unending questions inside my head.

From: A Human Anti- Depressor
To: Her Depressed Peer

I know what the word depress is, even how does it feel when it strikes you.

Do you wonder why I know those even though I have NEVER experienced that thing?

It's because of you.

No. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not sad, I do not feel hollow.

I just feel that I'm.. Not a good friend.

I don't know what should I do to make you change your bad perspective about life.

You live inside a home (where it is supposed to be full of love) where wars are more often than peace. Screams? Cries and sobs? I knew that you're already used to those.

But you already had enough. Aren't you?

Tears are flowing onto your cheeks when alone, your heart aches everytime you hear fights. Your whole system wants to stop from functioning everytime you think about how life is so unfair.

I have already told you hundreds of advices, but I realized that words aren't strong enough to help a depressed person like you.

Forgive me for being dumb at times like these. Forgive me if I don't know how to help you.

I'm trying my best. I won't ever give up.

But please, for a bit of time, please bear with me.

Just bring this piece of advice to your life.

Don't let negativity ruin your mind, because I believe that everything that is happening today is just because of our mind. Of what we think. Of what kind of choices we made.

If you think that you are sad, everything will turn out exactly as what you think.

I don't exactly know what runs inside your head at all times. I'm not perfect. I might earn multiple medals a year, be your friend, but I don't know everything.

I don't know why my advices don't turn out well. I feel like there's something wrong with what I share. I feel like I'm not a good friend, but believe me, I'm trying to be the best. I'm trying to be the one to move you away from the dark side.

I know there is nobody else you can trust in this time. Maybe not even me. I understand that maybe one day, you'll feel that you don't want to talk your problems with me anymore because you think that I have no idea about what you are feeling.

I have loads of idea. I even feel it right now (well, not exactly feel, but almost feel). I just don't know what to do. I don't know what actions will make you realize that life isn't just about sadness. I don't know how to say that you've been just focusing on the bad things in life that you even forgot us-- your friends-- that we're still here. That we can still be your source of strength and happiness. I don't know how to remind you to pray everyday and talk to him whatever you feel. I don't know what to do.

Funny isn't it? We were friends for years, but it seems like I barely know you.

Well, I actually know you. Or should I say, I used to know you.

When the real world showed up, you started to panic, you started to cry and not end.

You don't even know how to deal with the world anymore.

I wanted to help you, so I tried. But it seems like you just want somebody to listen, but not give advice.

I understand that there are times that you should let out your problems, but sometimes, you need to listen. Listen to what can help you, not destroy you. Listen to his word, not just the war, hatred and sadness inside your heart.

Remember that we have the freewill. It is just disguised as choices. If you chose to cry over and over again for the same things, it's a freewill. You can choose between doing something to make things right or to just overthink and cry. You have hundreds of choices yet you chose to be like that.

You chose to be weak even if you're strong. You chose to be afraid even if you're tough. You chose to be depressed even if there are millions of reasons to be happy compared to hundreds of problems.

Have you forgotten the day that we were still children? The time where we have no problem except from choosing a rainbow- colored candy among the white ones? I wish that problems are as simple as that.

But we are in the real world. We get old, we get to explore and experience new problems we hadn't before. We get stronger, we get wiser.

Just don't let those problems invade your whole mind and lead you to worst.

Please always remember that there are more reasons to be happy.

I know this letter won't move you that much, but I hope you'll get to know my side-- that you're not the only one that is suffering.

We are humans. The human population ranges from billions to trillions. Every single person experience downfalls the same as yours, but some are just great in hiding it and shaking it off. Why don't you try to shake of the problems? Maybe you'll feel better.

I hope someday, you'll realize that your problems are just small obstacles. I'll remind you that you'll experience more when we get old. So if you'll sob over and over the same things everyday, it'll be difficult for you to deal with those.

I also hope that someday, you'll get my point. That one day, you'll get used on this cruel world-- The REAL world.