RUTHLESS || XXXTENTACION STORY ||

05

KIITANA

"Hi?" I had finally spoken after moments of just staring at each other, wondering who was going to at least say something first. But what had seemed to be a greeting was more so of a question.

I mentally face palmed myself.

I broke the strange contact by finding interest in my hands that were fidgeting in my lap.

I don't know what's up with this guy, but it's giving me a foreign feeling inside. He hasn't said not a word to me at all, but I did get a chance to hear how he sounded during the concert. His voice was beautiful, and that's all that mattered.

"I make you nervous, don't I?"

I had flinched at the voice, a bit surprised to hear it being directed towards myself. I didn't bother to look at him, though.

Because he was right.

He did make me feel nervous, and knowing myself, I'd may just be a rambling mess if he keeps talking to me.

"What, um, makes you say that?" I questioned him in return, clearing my throat as I shifted a little.

"Look at me."

I bit back the little giggle that was on the tip of my tongue, a grin made its way to my face as I did look at him again. A confused expression appeared on his as he noticed how amused I was.

"Did I say something fucking funny?" He said in an offensive tone, which made me release my laugh all together-- ignoring the fact that he cursed.

"I'm sorry, it's the fact that you used the lyrics to your own song, is all." Shrugging it off as I was a lot more settled.

At least the laughter nearly took away how nervous I was.

His face had lightened up when he found out the reference, shaking his head fondly at me as a little tug was made on his lips.

"You're too goofy, I'm trying to be serious with you, Kiitana. I asked you if I make you nervous."

And the feeling was back.

I sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to let it go until I give an answer. I don't even know what's the big deal anyway, what was he going to get out of it?

"Honestly, yes. And that's because you only look at me, and unfortunately, I can't read minds. So, I only thought that you didn't like me. Not like like-like just in a friendly way, yeah." My words getting quiet at the end of the statement.

The silence was formed once more, and it was starting to bug me, knowing that my thoughts were correct. Should I be surprised? Not at all. But there's always going to be a little hope inside of me that just want someone to give an insight of what I've never witness before.

Someone as in a guy, y'know?

Shaking my head, I stood up from the couch, not bothering to look at him anymore as I was definitely fed up by the whole thing at this point.

"I enjoyed myself during the concert, you've done a wonderful job up there-- on the stage, I mean." Bidding a farewell, but that's not until he had grabbed onto my wrist. That gesture made me jumped fiercely, astonished by the action.

"Jahseh." Was all he said when I cascaded my eyes down at him, my eyebrows furrowed at him once he released my wrist. 

I just left it at that.

What was that supposed to mean? I don't think I've heard of that before. Was it a sign, place, name of something-- I don't get it. Contemplating on this was going to make my head hurt, I can tell.

I strolled over to Imani, who was laughing with her brother. I don't mean to break up their little reunion, but I need to go back to my dorm as soon as possible. Lord knows what time it is, and my mother had probably called me numerous of times.

I had almost forgot!

Yeah, I gotta go.

Mani had beamed when she saw me coming up to her, moving her eyes pass me for a minute before reverting back to me. 

"Hey, girl! Finish talking to your mans?" She teased, elbowing Ski in the process.

I folded my arms as I rolled my eyes, "He's not my 'mans.' Besides, we didn't even talk like that."

"Mhmm, we'll see. Anyways, you ready to go?"

"You've read my mind." I said in relief, thinking that maybe I'd be rushing her for asking.

With that, Imani hugged her brother reminding him to text her later on before saying good bye to the rest of the crew. I made my way out of the room, feeling the heavy weight being lifted off of my chest. There was so much tension in there between X and I to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. 

I'm not sure if he sees me as weird, or if he thinks I see him that way. I just have to remind myself that I won't ever have to see him again because I doubt I'll be invited to a concert again.

Mani had caught up to me, when I was already outside, stopping in front of me with a concern look.

"What's the matter? What happen between you and X?"

"You say that as if we're in a relationship." I pointed out, dropping my arms to my side before continuing.

"And nothing is wrong, just confused."

"If you want to talk about it, just let know, alright? That's what friends are for." She reminded me.

I just nodded in return, walking alongside of her as we headed towards the car in silence. Even the car ride with silent, and it gave me enough time to clear my head, too. I knew that Imani probably got the hint that I needed a moment.

I'm an overthinker when it comes to real life situations. Now, when it comes to my school work, I could ace that with no problem. Not everything in life can be compared to a problem on a piece of paper because if that was the case, I wouldn't be so insufficient when it comes to being social.

For now, I just need to focus on my education and forget that this had ever happened.

So long, X.

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Chapter five! I hope you all enjoyed it, more to come.

Thanks for reading.

-N