The Trapped Ones.

20. Knowledge

"Everything happens for a reason."

Raina

"Mommy, when are the babies coming?" I looked up from my the chips that I had been crunching on and shrugged. "Well, I'm four months now and they have to cook for five more months, so we gotta little time left. You ready to be a big brother?" He nodded his head and climbed in my lap laying his head down on my belly. "How do big brothers work?" He lifted his head and looked at me curiously. I ran my fingers through his curly hair and laughed. "Well, they love their younger siblings, they protect and never turn their back on them. Always love your brothers and sisters. Do you hear me?" He shook his head before laying his head back on my belly. "I'll be the best big brother ever!" I chuckled and relaxed as we watched our favorite movie "Frozen". 

After watching the movie twice, Cameron fell asleep and I had a long day ahead of me. I picked him up just a Bryan walked through the door. He glared at me before grabbing Cam out of my hands and walking him upstairs as I followed. 

"What I tell you bout lifting that lil nigga up Rai?" I shrugged before finding some night clothes and a towel. "You so damn stubborn sometimes. I swear." I rolled my eyes and walked into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and got undressed. As I washed my body, I felt the cool breeze from the shower door opening. Bryan stepped in and wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his hands on my belly. He kissed my shoulder as I leaned into him. "My mom called me today." "Word? What happened." I sighed. "She wants to get clean. Said she needs my help" He washed my belly and breast as he talked. "That's good Rai, you not happy about it or somthin'?" I shrugged as I turned around and  soaped his body up as well. "I don't know. Roberta lies a lot, she always says whatever she can to get her next hit, so it's hard to see the real shit from the bullshit. I just don't want to be the fool again."  "Baby,come one, she's your mom. Have a little faith in her." I rolled my eyes and stared into his brown orbs. "I've tried having faith in that woman Bry." I turned back around washing off the soap and stepping out. 

I got dressed in a shirt and climbed in bed. Bryan walked out the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist as he looked for some clothes that he'd brought back over here. I watched as he dropped the towel from body and slide his boxers on his now dry skin. Damn, the mans body was beautiful! He put on his basketball shorts and Nike socks before climbing into bed. "Uh uh, you ain't' gon lotion those crusty arms?" "Rai, I'm a nigga. I don't care." I laughed and turned the light off before giving him a kiss. "Night daddy." "Night mama."

.

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"So what your telling me is that you want to get off the drugs and go to rehab?" I was sitting across from the woman I once called mother, she looked horrible and as if she hadn't taken a nice long hot bath in years. It pained me to see her this way, but for once I had to think about myself and not my mother. Cameron was sitting next to me eating pancakes. My mom looked at Cam and smiled before answering me. "Yes Raina. I really do baby." I rolled my eyes. "Why now ma? Why? It's been five damn years and all of a sudden you wanna get clean? I don't buy it." Five years ago my father died. He was both my mother and I's rock. He was the perfect daddy, supporting, loving, gave out great advice when needed or when he felt the need to say soemthin'. Always was there with  a shoulder to cry on and never once judged you for your actions. I guess that's why I love Bryan so damn much. Even though he did me wrong, he had all the qualities my daddy use to have. My dad was a cop for NYPD when he was killed. He was gunned down outside one of Brooklyn's worst neighborhoods. Of course me and my mom took it bad, but she took it worse. I filled the void with love, and later on down the line I ended up pregnant with Cameron, and my mom turned to drugs. I use to blame myself, telling myself maybe if I just spent some time with her instead of being up under Bry that she wouldn't have to turn to drugs, but it was too late and she was too deep into it to be pulled out. 

She started prostituting and stealing from me and other loved ones, she pretty much drove everyone away. Of course I still loved my mother, I helped her, but she'd always turn around and do me wrong. "Raina, I missed out on a lot. I want to be here for my grandchildren. I want to be here to see you walk down the aisle. I just want to be the mother you should've had. I just need your help one last time Nychelle." She said calling me by my middle name. When she used my middle name she meant business, but I still didn't have the guts to believe her. I'm always on the fence when it comes to my mom and her antics. A part of me is saying go ahead, help her, but the other side is saying to pay the tab and get the hell up outta there. I contemplated with my inner self before sipping on my cranberry juice and looking Roberta straight in her eyes. 

"I'm taking you to rehab. I'm paying the bill. You fuck up and I'm done.  I'm calling this shit off and Bryan will fix it for me. Don't make me regret this Roberta. I'm doing this shit because deep down I still love you too death. Your my mother and the only grandmother my children will have, but if you play me, I won't hesitate to send you back to the streets to die." She looked at me with tears in her eyes and her hands clamped together. "Thank you Rai, I know you hate me right now, but I'm gonna change. I promise." I nodded. "I don't hate you ma, I could never hate you." She smiled at me and for once in the past five years I smiled back. "I'm taking you to rehab today, so you can come over my house to take a shower." She nodded her head again. "Thank you Raina." "Don't fuck this up ma."

Hi guys! So I'm sorry I've been M. I. A. for a whole week, but for some that don't know I had a health scare earlier this week. I told myself I wasn't gonna speak on it, but I'll tell you just a little somthin somethin. Lol. Pretty much, I found a lump in my breast. I was freaked out and scared. That had to be the most I had cried in a very long time to be honest.  None the less, I went to the doctor, got it checked out and what not.  Thankfully for me, it's just a cyst and I'm doing fine. Thank you to everyone that kept me in their prayers. I really appreciate it and I love you all!  Updates coming slowly but surely. Just bare with me :)

Love You All!

-Tushari :)