The Trapped Ones.

6. Explanations.

"Wassup? Been a minute since we kicked it you been caught up..."

Raina.

I woke up with a slight headache from all the crying I did yesterday. I feel like I'm in a bad dream that I can't wake up from. Demarco is really Bryan? It honestly feels like someone just pulled the rug from under my feet. I thought I honestly would never see that nigga again, and now he's in the flesh. My thing was when you found out it was me why not tell me? Why lie? Why act like someone different? I shook my head and got out of the king sized bed heading to the connected bathroom. The shower was so peaceful. I felt all my stress washing away from the warm water and the suds of soap. I wish I could stay in here and not talk to Bryan, but I know that wouldn't work. I have to face him now or never, and I want some damn questions! I dried my body and moisturized before putting on a pair of skinny jeans and a "Free Max B" t shirt and my Jordan "Taxis". I put my hair in a messy bun before checking on Cam. When I got into his room Bryan was there cleaning up the toys he left around. I leaned on the the door frame gazing. Me and Bryan made eye contact for a brief second before I diverted my sight to a sleeping Cam. I walked downstairs to see what was here. I felt his presence behind me, but I didn't pay it attention. It's nothing that Bryan can say that will make this situation any better. 

"Rai."

"Demarco." I smirked with my back facing him.

"Petty ass." He mumbled. I closed the fridge and turned to him. "Petty? Nah couldn't be me you talkin bout, cause I have every right to be petty." 

"Rai, just hear me out?" I shook my head. "Talk." I leaned on the island and so did he. We were staring each other down, breathing each others air. "Talk." I broke our stare down again. He sighed. "Look, shit was getting heavy in Brooklyn for me. I ain't wanna leave ya'll like that, but shit came up. I know, I should've told you, but I care what you think Rai, always have, always will. Shit, we been together since sophomore year of high school, you were my rock man, how can I tell my pregnant girl that I got us into some trouble and they out fa our heads? Shit ain't wavy." I just stared at him like I couldn't believe what he said. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Speak to me Raina." I snapped out of my trance and glared at him. "You selfish piece of shit! You don't give a fuck bout nobody but ya self! I was there! I was there for you when everyone fucking turned their back on you and you couldn't even tell me what was going on! You think leaving me in the dark was a good idea?" I was now getting teary eyed and I didn't want him to see. I don't want him to think he still has that affect on me. I turned away from his intensive brown eyes and wiped the tears that strayed away. 

"Raina, I wasn't thinking at all. I was just worried bout them niggas not killing you. I couldn't live with myself if I knew I was the reason that you and my child died. That's why I left, I left for you!" I scoffed. "Bullshit! Bullshit! Your a liar! After you found out it was me why the fuck didn't you speak up! Demarco! Really? Why did you play me for a fucking fool Bryan?" His jaw tightened and he looked up at the high ceilings. "I was scared. I didn't know how you would take this shit." I broke down. "You lied! You lied about everything! I thought you loved me! I thought you said you wouldn't leave and then you fuckin left me with a child I couldn't afford to take care of properly! I had nothing after you left! You were all I had and then you left me. I hate you Bryan." I tried walking away but he grabbed my arm and hugged me tightly, I hugged back and cried in his shirt. It's like all the feelings I had for him somehow resurfaced and there so hard to throw away. I feel it all throughout my veins. I feel his love from his warm body. I missed this and I don't know to do. I should be mad. I should want to murder him, but for some reason I can't. 

"I love you Rai, I never stopped thinking about you or my seed. I never stopped baby. I know I hurt you and I'm so sorry. I just wanna make this better." I shook my head and broke away from him. "Make love to me." Was all I said. He picked me up and led me to his room, laid me on his bed and pleased me in every way he could. All that was heard were his grunts and my cries. We made empty promises and fake "I love Yous". I knew, just like he did that this was never going to be the same. You can love someone so much, but still hate them. We are all human and we all make mistakes, but how do we pick up the pieces afterwards when all we want to do is leave them. I know I should leave Bryan, but it's easier said than done. I leave him and I leave a piece of me that I lost. Everyone has their addictions, some choose drugs, some choose sex, shit, some even choose food. My addiction is Bryan and just like any other addicted person that needs rehab we push it to the side and become in denial. I'm in denial and I know, I know this isn't right, but it feels like weed sweeping through your lungs and leaving that funny feeling in your head and keeps your eyes low, or when you get that last slice of pizza. You feel great and I love feeling great. So even though this is wrong and I should leave, I can't. Then again, I don't think I want to. My dilemma. 

Sup guyysss! A quick little update for ya! How did you feel about this chapter??

     Love You All!

    -Tushari :)