This Is Who I Am

Chapter Twenty-One

Edward's P.O.V

People react to feeling overwhelmed in certain ways. Some just sit there and contemplate what's bothering them, others make grunting, groaning and even whining noises. Then there's those that can't take the feeling and it feels as if you don't know what to do with yourself. I have no idea how long have I been pacing around Bella's small living room, groaning, grunting and literally almost pulling my fucking hair out with my own hands. Bella silently watches me from the couch, her hands tightly holding on to the second album I have not seen.

This can't be true, how is this even possible? Me, a father? Seriously, a father? Fuck, I'm barely managing to look after myself and find what people I can really trust and it now turns out that I have to look out for someone two times smaller than me? Not to mention dependent. No, this isn't possible. There is no way that I'm a father. There is no way my mother and my sister have lied to me for three years about having a wife... and a daughter. A daughter for heavens sake! A daughter I abandoned, that was left at the mercy of fate and in which Bella had to raise on her own... oh god.

"Edward?"

I raise my hand, silently telling her that I need a moment. I take a deep breath and I finally look at her.

"How?" I manage to choke out.

Both her eyebrows rise to the point where they almost touch her hair line. She clears her throat and says, "Well, you see when two people-"

"Okay, I know how... I just don't get how. I mean, what ha-"

"If you take a deep breath and sit down, I'll tell you how," she said calmly, patting the space I left next to her. "This is the end, I promise. After this, no more secrets."

"You promise?"

She nods and places her hand on her chest. "I promise this marks the end of the secrets."

It's scary, just hearing her say it makes it even more real. My heart skips beats as I make my way back to her and take a seat. Bella doesn't hand me the album. Instead she opens it and takes the first picture out. She hands with to me with shaking hands and waits. I did not realize I was shaking until I took the picture from her. My heart stops right then and there.

I'm sitting on a chair, wearing wrinkly clothing and looking as if I haven't slept in hours. I'm smiling at the camera and in my arms I'm holding a small pink bundle in my arms. I look closer into the small bundle in my arms and I see her face. That small, pink face with puckered lips and long eyelashes. That tiny little person I'm holding is my daughter...

Bella puts the camera down and smiles widely at me, her eyes filling up with tears for the fifth time since our little girl made her big entrance into the world and into our lives three hours ago.

"She's so perfect," she whispers, her hand reaching out for mine. "I can't believe she's really ours."

I smile at her. "She is. So, so beautiful." I look down at my daughter. My daughter. Shit, I can't believe I'm a Daddy now and Bella is a Mommy. This little thing came from the both of us. "You may be the most beautiful girl in this world if you turn out like your mother and not like your old man," I tell my daughter in a soft whisper. Bella chuckles. "But no boyfriends until you bury me, plus two weeks after that just to make sure I'm really dead."

"Edward." Bella laughs. "Don't tell her that."

"It's the truth," I tell my wife. "I'm going to take so good care of the both of you, you are not going to need anyone else but me, ain't that right, baby? Yeah, you know I'm right. You are gonna be so loved, you won't need a boyfriend."