Blood, Sweat, and Schradieck

Chapter Twelve - Alyss

Alyss's alarm goes off shrilly in the predawn darkness, but it doesn't matter - she's already awake. Has been for most of the night. She turns over slowly to turn it off so it doesn't bother Jenny, and sits up in bed.

The competition is tomorrow. Alyss wishes with all of her being that it was over already. So she can just relax and sleep. Right now, her mind is thick with exhaustion, her eyes gummy and painful from lying awake all night. Her entire body is sore from being tense and anxious.

It is not a good condition in which to compete.

Alyss wants nothing more than to get back into bed and doze, if not sleep. But her reserved time in her favorite practice room starts in fifteen minutes - just enough time for her to get dressed, grab her instrument, grab a bite to eat, and make it there. Another day of practice.

This has been one of the longest and most horrible weeks in her life. At least last time she competed and was this stressed, she had Will to help her through it. This time, he's making it worse. He and Cassandra seem to be going out of their way to spend time together, and it hurts Alyss deeply.

She misses Will. She really does. But maybe it's time for her to accept that it didn't work out, and try to move on, so she can focus on the competition.

"This is why you resolved not to get involved with a boyfriend!" she hisses to herself as she lets herself out of the dorm room, careful not to wake Jenny. "Now you're all distracted and your focus is shot!"

Alyss has spent the week either in the practice room, in lessons with Mrs. DuLacy, or hiding away in one of a handful of spots she's found in the Conservatory, the dining hall, or the dorm building. She's not just avoiding Will now, but all of their friends. It just hurts too much to remember how happy she was - and besides, she needs to be concentrating. She knows her friends aren't happy about it, but she can't care at the moment. 

Once she's outside, the painful clarity of the freezing air wakes her up. It snowed overnight, and the entire landscape is blanketed with a thick, perfect layer of pristine snow. Alyss stands there for a moment, the cold air burning her nose with every inhale and a rolling puff of steam billowing out with every exhale, and takes it in for a minute, feeling it calm and quiet her roiling thoughts.

Then she begins to wade through the snow towards the Conservatory, every step crunching through layers of frozen ice crystals and leaving behind a perfect imprint. The walk to the Conservatory takes a little longer than usual because the snow slows her down, but she doesn't mind as much as she did before. Now that she's awake and thinking more clearly, she almost can't wait to start practicing. To drown out everything around her in light of the sheer focus she attains in the practice room. It will be like killing two birds with one stone - finish preparations for tomorrow, and forget about everything going on around her.

By the time her lesson with Mrs. DuLacy rolls around that evening, Alyss is in a much better state of mind. Her headache has actually gone away, and she's more bright-eyed and alert than she's been all week. Mrs. DuLacy notices the change.

"Ah, Alyss," she says. "You look well today."

"Thanks, Mrs. DuLacy, I do feel better today," Alyss replies. 

Mrs. DuLacy closes the door to her office, and Alyss sets her case down on a folding chair, beginning to unpack.

After her lesson, Alyss begins to pack her violin away.

"Alyss, dear, could I speak to you for a moment?" Mrs. DuLacy asks, catching her off guard.

"Oh, um, of course!" Alyss says. She closes her case and crosses the room, sitting down in the armchair next to the window, across from Mrs. DuLacy. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Mrs. DuLacy hesitates a moment before speaking. "I'm worried about you, Alyss. You've been very quiet for the past few weeks, and you always look so exhausted. I don't want you to break, Alyss. You're so young."

Alyss says nothing, unsure how to respond, and Mrs. DuLacy continues. "Besides all that, Halt told me the other day that Will said you're not talking to him or any of your other friends. Is everything quite all right?"

Alyss is proud that her expression does not change when Mrs. DuLacy says Will's name. She shrugs. "I've been focusing really hard on competition preparation," she explains.

Mrs. DuLacy regards her doubtfully. "All right, Alyss, if you're sure you're all right," she says. 

Alyss nods once. "I am," she says. Because if she thinks about the competition, and getting prepared, and nothing else, she will be. She'll be able to hold on for one more night, compete tomorrow, and sleep for a week.

Mrs. DuLacy's next words destroy her plans of practicing late into the night. "I'm going to ask you to leave your instrument here," she says.

"Wait, what?" Alyss says, her eyes going wide. "Why?"

Mrs. DuLacy shakes her head at Alyss. "I don't want you to injure yourself right before the competition. I really think you can win this Alyss. Did you know it's been twenty-five years since the Conservatory had someone go to Internationals for violin?"

Alyss shakes her head. "No, I didn't know that," says. "Who was it?"

"It was me," Mrs. DuLacy says. "In my junior year. When I was exactly your age. And in the seventeen years I've been teaching, I haven't had one student represent Araluen for strings. Not one."

Alyss can only stare at Mrs. DuLacy. She didn't know any of this.

"But I believe you can do it," Mrs. DuLacy presses on. She takes one of Alyss's hands. "You've got it, Alyss, whatever it is - that spark, that magnetism, the mark of a true performer. When you play, people cannot take their eyes off of you. And I've never seen another student in twenty-five years of watching this competition as mesmerizing as you in performance."

Alyss can feel her face heat up. She tries to find words, to say something, anything.

Mrs. DuLacy gives her a small smile. "I know you don't believe me, Alyss. But it doesn't matter. Because when you get out on that stage tomorrow, the world would have to end before the judges pick someone else over you."

Alyss is still in a state of half-shock as she leaves Mrs. DuLacy's office, turning the words over and over again in her mind, seeking to understand. They warm her heart, and she feels a bit of an ache in her chest. It's nice to have someone caring for her, looking out for her.

She's so distracted that she is caught completely off guard when she rounds the corner. She stands paralyzed when she sees them.

Their backs are to her. They stand next to each other in the middle of the hallway, laughing their heads off. Will's arm is slung casually across Cassandra's shoulders. As Alyss watches, Cassandra leans over and kisses Will on the cheek.

And then Alyss is turning on her heel, stumbling, running, desperate to get away from there, to be anywhere but there. She's vaguely aware of hot tears trickling down her cheeks as she winds through the hallways, taking a roundabout way toward the exit.

It's absolutely freezing outside. The sun has set, and a chilly wind has picked up. Alyss isn't even wearing a coat, but she hardly notices. She flounders through the snow in the dark, heading blindly towards the one place she knows she can be alone.

She's halfway up the tree across from the dining hall before she realizes what she's doing, and part of her is repulsed. This is not just her tree, but Will's tree, and she can derive no comfort from something that is so connected to him.

So she doesn't stop to sit on the first thick branch where she usually sits to think or reflect on problems, or just to relax. Crying bitterly, she keeps climbing higher and higher, oblivious to the drop beneath her. She's usually deathly afraid of heights, but right now, it doesn't even register.

Not even when her foot slips off an icy patch on a branch. Not even when she loses her handholds. As she plummets backward toward the ground beneath her, all she feels is a sort of dull nothingness.

A/N: CLIFFHANGER!!!! *evil laugh*

Don't worry guys, the next chapter is already half written and it WILL be up next Saturday.