Shades Of Cool: Noorhelm

William and Noora: 6

I saved every letter you wrote me
from the moment i read them
i knew you were mind
you said you were mine
i thought you were mine
•
•
•

Betrayal hit me like a truck. There weren't many things in this life that I was sure about. But William is one of them. Was, one of them. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to see him, to see her. Liza. With her beautiful long brown curls and olive skin, chocolate eyes. They look like his. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't usually cry. If I was upset I would internalize it. I would ignore it until my anger dissipated, but I knew I couldn't do that this time. My anger would not fade. But I didn't feel angry. I felt hurt. I had done everything right, I forgave him, I moved in with him, I did everything I could to fix this. And because of nothing I did, I was torn apart anyways.
I walked the cold Oslo streets, my phone ringing again and again in my pocket. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to see her again. I didn't want to think about all the late nights they'd spend together, I didn't want to think about him loving her, shopping for a ring with her face in mind and not mine. I didn't want to think about her crying tears of happiness as he held her and slid the ring onto her perfect finger. I didn't want to think about how her full lips felt different to him than my thin ones, I didn't want to think about her laying in our bed, his bed, with her. Her head lying on the pillow that once belonged to me.
It felt as if someone had punched a hole through my chest. Like every time I thought of him... It would burn at the edges. Ripping and tearing, my flesh searing away. I didn't know how to fix this. I loved him. So much. But what could I do if he didn't want me anymore?

I laid on Eva's bed, staring at the ceiling. The other girls were crowded around me, playing with my hair, trying to comfort me. "I just... I don't know how to fix this." I breathe out. Sana scoffs. "What?" I ask. She shakes her head. "Noora... You always think they you have to fix things. As if any of this was your fault. You can't fix this Noora, William has to." The other girls murmur in agreement. I sigh, "But there has to be something I can do!" Eva asks, "Have you talked to him about it yet?" I shake my head. "I think maybe... That would be a good place to start." Vilde murmurs.

I slowly unlock the door, pushing it open. William is sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. I shut the door behind me and his head turns quickly. He rushes to where I'm standing in the entrance and takes me in his arms, and the burning hole is temporarily filled. "Noora." He breathes. "Please give me a chance to explain." I nod, setting my bag on the floor.

We sit on the couch, silence ringing in my ears as I sip my tea. "Where is she?" I ask him. "London." I raise a brow. "I sent her back. I don't want her here." I scoff. "So you want her but not here?" He shakes his head, furrowing his brow. "No I don't want her at all... Noora you're the only one I want." I shake my head. "And how am I supposed to believe that?" He reaches for me but I take a step back.
"But you did want her... Once." I ask, crossing my arms. "I wanted to get over you, I thought it would work. It didn't. That's it." He says, his cool tone returning. This is how I know he is becoming frustrated. "So you thought it would be a better idea to ask a girl you probably barely knew to marry you?" He shook his head, bring his hand to his mouth to hide his grin. "What was I supposed to do? You weren't answering my calls, Eva told me to not try to call you." I stared at my feet. I closed my eyes. I jumped slightly when I felt his hand touch my cheek.
"But were meant to be together? Right?"
But I couldn't speak the words in my head.
I opened my mouth, and replied-

•
•
•
sorry it took me so long to update in the worst i h8 myself hahahahaha oky bye