Oleander

Chapter 6

Oleander : The Homosexual

Oleander's day started like any other day. He slammed his hand on his alarm to silence it at 6 am. He rolled over and slept for another fifteen minutes before he finally hauled himself off his bed. He brushed his teeth while he showered, shaved his face carefully and styled his hair just like he always did. He dressed up impeccably like usual. He slung his backpack on his shoulder and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. That's when he realised today was not quite like "any other day" and this is how he started to realize how his days would never be like they used to.

His mother didn't wish him a good morning nor did she kiss his cheek farewell. She just went on making breakfast for her husband who was not on his chair near the counter reading the newspaper and teasing his wife. The only thing that looked normal to Oleander was his little sister staring at the oatmeal with distaste. He smiled miserably at her before lifting up his backpack and staring at his mother before leaving. Oleander's soft heart broke every morning after that. The sight that couldn't bother any other person hurt him the most because it was something unnatural in the Hartley household and it was all his fault. That was what he believed.

Oleander was still given the same attention at school but all for a different reason entirely. The looks he got was hardly of awe rather of curiosity, disgust or sympathy. It made him want to claw at his neck and throw up every last thing he ate before coming to school. It disgusted him. He never knew a day would come when he disgusted himself. He didn't know when the catcalls started but he had not a smidgen of strength to fight back. He let people spread the most hideous of rumors about him. From him giving a blow job to a teacher for extra credit to working as a prostitute on weekends. He had a pretty good idea where most of those rumors started. He was sure it was his ex friends. Only they were brave enough.

Things looked bleak for Oleander but at least nobody touched him. Only if words couldn't touch him too. He kept everything bottled up inside ignoring his friends when they called his name. He went as far as ignoring his best friend. Best friend. He laughed bitterly. Darren had lost that title the day he didn't stand up for him. Oleander sighed. He thought Darren would be the first one to accept his sexuality. How wrong he had been. Nobody wanted to accept the fact. Why? Why couldn't they just accept him for what he was? Why did it matter if he was gay or bisexual or whatever? Oleander was Oleander.

He couldn't stand the world he once lived in anymore. He had cried too much every night. He couldn't sleep and the nights were filled with oncoming dread on how he was to face another day. He was downright lonely and disturbed to the extent of him often thinking of ways he could end it once and for all. He thought of ways he could kill himself in the most efficient and quickest way. He never could do it though. He was a coward in that sense.

Oleander also often thought of the cute boy he met at the library. He never did get to see him around. He visited the library everyday after their first meeting but Kenneth was never there. He wanted to ask around but he was afraid. An emotion he hardly associated himself with. He was afraid his peers would laugh at his face and ignore him. More than afraid though Oleander had begun to think it was more of pride. His pride that had dared to still remain intact in the best way it could.

He couldn't bear to be lonely anymore. Maybe he thought, maybe he should forget about his pride just this once and ask about the strange boy who had somehow wheedled his way into his heart. It didn't help that he was very attractive and openly affectionate towards the male species. Just this once thought Oleander again. Just this once would he embrace his sexuality instead of hiding and do something for himself. He would find the boy. The boy that seemed like the only solution to his misery.