head mess | poetry

| she walks in beauty |

lord, i pray to you. and only you. and lord i present to you, to only you.

i present to you multiple girls. multiple girls who are lost in the world you created for them.

one girl, is the girl that i love. the girl who loves me. oh this beautiful girl. she is definitely something like i have never seen. there's a few things about this girl that have my stomach tied in knots of steel and my mind eaten alive by my thoughts. you see, my lord, this girl is so, so, strong; yet so fragile. and when the sun goes down and the blue creeps from under her dark clouds, rain falls and falls and falls. i would like to think i am the sun that dries up her rain. but she is lost. she may not realize, but she is. i would love more than anything to be the light that guides her, but maybe i am not fit for such a task. for her mind is plagued with blue, so i present her to you. lord, please heal my beloved girl. for she deserves the world.

another girl, my lord. another girl, my friend . my friend in which i will forever cherish. a friend in which i was once close to, but we must set sails and drift apart. a friend who loved me in a way i couldn't once reply to. she saw things through wonderfully sparkling eyes, just as i saw them. she could see what i could see, and i believe with all my heart, that she too, wanted to be the sun. how sad i made her feel was undeniably large. and oh how i wish things had turned out with peace. but lord, i promise she is good. she is kind hearted and deserves more than i. give her someone who can love each and every part of her, for that person will not be me. lord i present to you, my old friend, for deserves no end.

a third girl, my lord, my blood and my family . a girl who has been dragged into holes in which she never looked into. a girl who has been mistreated to no end. she has a heart so big it almost drags her down. her arms and legs have been scarred and bruised by the people in her head, but her strength can outdo even the most treacherous of storms. for she walks out of the fight standing, for her strength is incredible. and hear this, she has been given an angel. a beautiful, loving angel to watch over her while she conquers her world. my lord i really must thank you for the gift. she is to be loved and loved she will be. so my lord i ask of you and i present to you, my sister, please watch over her and her angel, i will not be able to forever. for she deserves all the love.

and lord, another, a girl who has been by my side since childhood. a friend in which love is an understatement. she has spoken words of courage through her mouth and into my head, and she picks me up off the dirty floor when no one else would. she gets angry on my behalf and is my knight. she cries with me and holds me when i am sad. my lord, this girl is so strong, her heart is like stone. a warm, warm stone. her heart is protected by armor that not even i know how to take off. and my lord, this girl is the most kind. she is the most caring. and for her i am so grateful to have. so my lord, i present to you, my best friend, a beloved friend. for she deserves incredible honor.

and lord i present to you the last one, myself. a girl who has walked down the wrong path many times only to end up in the same places. a girl who has made friends with the wrong people only to find the same answers. a girl who has been told so many lies and believed them so easily. a girl who is stupid and fragile to no end. a girl who has been given things and had them taken away so quickly. a girl who has a rarity of a genuine smile. a girl who afraid that she will die not knowing what love is. a girl who desperately wants to be loved. a girl who desperately just wants to be the sun. but oh god, above all, a girl who is trying her hardest.

oh, but i am a silly girl. do you know why? because i want the world. i want no end. i want all the love. i want all the honor. i want everything. but don't forget that it is not i who deserves those things. so my lord, when i ask you to watch over these girls, trust me when i say they walk in beauty. they walk in beauty my lord and i need them. i need them, for with out them i am simply nothing. i would cease to exist.

my lord, i pray to you tonight. i present to you theses girls; these girls need you. they are lost and still looking. they are lost and walking in beauty.

[r.k]