Eddsworld Oneshots

Arachnophobia

A high-pitch scream rang through the house.

"TOM!" Picture frames fell off the walls and vases tumbled to the floor as Tord came scrambling down the carpeted stairs and into the living room.

His hair was half-done and his eyes were wild. The Norwegian was panting hard and looking frantically for the Brit.

"What the hec-". Tom started, turning to face the riled housemate from the comfort of the sofa.

"THERES A FREAKIN' SPIDER IN THE BATHROOM!" Tord cut him off in a panic.

The Brit in blue's extremely confused expression melted into disappointment. He had almost expected a real emergency with the way his nemesis was acting.

"Go kill it yourself" he spat, turning back to face the dancing colors on the television.

"I can't, I'm afraid it will jump on me." The other whined loudly. "Edd and Matt are at the store and you're the only one home." (Cliché)

Not taking his attention off the show, Tom replied with a simple "I don't care." Which was laced heavily with irritation.

Tord jumped in front of the glowing screen at the center of the room and got down on his knees. "Thomas, please." He begged. A short silence followed his plea as the other, clearly agitated, alcoholic pondered the fate of the friend-enemy.

Tom sighed heavily and pulled himself off the cola-stained cushions. Old springs creaked as he stretched.

"Fine... where is it?" He huffed.

The male in red jumped to his feet and darted up the stairs while the Brit took his time.

"In here, in here!" Tord stood in the hall out side the bathroom doorway pointing and frantically waving his hand in the direction of the spider.

Tom peaked his head around the corner of the frame. Sure enough, there it was.

A black house spider chilling next to a tall can of cheap hairspray. Unlike their polite counterparts, jumping spiders, black house spiders are larger and lack the fuzzy appearance of these other arachnids.

The brunette, who was also intimidated by the size of the target, approached it cautiously with one of Edd's flip-flops in his hand.  He moved slowly to get a better position without frightening off the creature.

He carefully raised his hand above his head and brought the sandal down onto the spider with a sickening slap. The impact killed it instantly, smearing its remains between the sole and countertop.

"Ok now get rid of it so I can keep doing my hair." The blonde said quickly, referring to his unfinished hairstyle.

"Oh really." Tom asked rhetorically, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Y'know, you sound like Ma-". Just then, the best thought in the world interrupted him.

He turned around, his lips curing into an evil smile. "Hey Tord..."

"Oh no." The Norwegian's eyes widened as the Brit shoved the shoe in his face. The crushed arachnid hovered ever so close to his face it was nearly touching him.

Tord's body seized up before a blood curdling scream escaped his chest. He took off in a mad sprint down the hallway with Tom in hot pursuit.

He ran to the end of the hall and turned around having hit a dead end. As the man in blue stepped closer, the other started pushing his back against the wall trying to flatten himself.

"I'm surprised the 'brave and mighty Red Leader' is afraid of a little spider." Tom snickered, mockingly turning Edd's flip-flop in his hand.

"Wait, how do you-" the Norwegian started, a new kind of fear reflected in his gaze.

Tom slowly walked up to the cornered man, raising the lime-green sandal to pull the same stunt as he had over the bathroom threshold. "That doesn't matter now, does it?"

The alcoholic put his free-hand on the wall and leaned in till he was inches away from Tord's ear.  Red's face began heating up as blood rushed to his cheeks. He was in this whole situation because of a stupid spider.

The brunette forced the other closer by shrinking the distance between him and the mangled arachnid.

Tom's pink lips parted as he softly hissed

"Arachnophobe."