Eddsworld Oneshots

Diagnosed

Insanity AU

*Violence Warning*

I was diagnosed as a psychopath when I was very young and now am a permanent resident at an asylum in London, England.

They've tried many times to reform me, to correct my violent nature.

From medication to electroshock therapy, nothing worked. I once was even put on the wait list for a lobotomy, but it never happened.

The hospital staff just stuck me in a straight jacket and locked me in a padded cell behind a viewing window, alone on an empty floor.

To most, it might seem like they went a bit overboard, but I assure you, they have a very good reason for all this.

It's because I kill just about everyone I meet.

Psychiatrists, nurses, friends, girlfriends, janitors, security guards, everyone. In total I have murdered 32 people, and I was getting a new nurse soon. A new victim.

I leaned back on my mattress, the old springs creaking under my weight.

It's been 2 years since I had a proper nurse and I'm just itching to see blood. I've been planning all the ways I could play with this fresh toy.

As I pondered the endless possibilities, excitement began building in my stomach.

The hospital was practically serving me kills on a silver platter. This was going to be fun.

•••

It was a calm afternoon and I was busy napping on the stained mattress in the corner of my cell when a new presence suddenly made itself known. My eyes flicked open at the shift in the atmosphere and I sat up, squinting against the harsh white lights above me.

Beyond the glass wall was a young man about my age. He was wearing a white lab coat over a cobalt button up and tie. He looked just like many of the other past nurses that tried to care for me, except something felt different.

He stood very straight, holding a brown clipboard to his chest.

"Hi Tord, did I wake you?" His voice was deep and smooth like silk.

I looked him over a couple times to get an idea of the struggle he would put up when the time came. "Yes, but it's fine." I replied with a polite smile.

It hadn't even been 10 minutes and I already wanted to watch the life leave his eyes.

"Okay," he began, checking down at the documents on his clipboard. "I have a few questions to ask you here."

I rose to my feet and approached the glass slowly to give myself the least threatening appearance I could portray, despite the heavy straight jacket hugging my chest. I sat down on the floor and crossed my legs.

The nurse opened his mouth to continue but was cut off with a question of mine. "May I get your name before we get into the more intimate details?" A humorous smirk replaced the friendly grin on my face.

He took a deep breath and I could feel my fingertips tingle. Thoughts of hearing his pretty lungs gasp for air, as I crushed his windpipe filled my head. "I'm Tom, and you're my first patient."

"Nice to meet you, Tom." I enthusiastically exclaimed. He was fresh, young, and my mouth began to water at how sweet his warm blood must smell.

The nurse pulled the clipboard away from his body and scanned over the printed words with his deep dark eyes. He read through each question quickly, not wanting to waste any time.

These formalities, these questions, I'm aware of how important they are to my work, but oh how I hated them.

Just as he finished up his paperwork, he thanked me for my time and hurried towards the heavy metal door.