kakaotalk。

bonus chapter

the xander/namjoon interaction nobody asked for but still got

Namjoon sat quietly with the other members as they patiently (or not) waited for Lexi's audition to finish. He gripped the younger girl's phone in one hand, making sure to protect it with his life after what she had said.

"I will murder you and your entire collection of Ryan plushies if something happens to my phone," she had told him with a blank face which somehow scared him even more. "Guard it correctly, Kim Namjoon."

He shivered as he recalled the encounter. She was so small, yet so very terrifying. He wondered how much rage could fit in such a tiny body, but that wasn't something he wanted to test to find out.

After another moment of silence, Lexi's phone started ringing.

Namjoon jolted upright, almost screaming when he nearly dropped the phone in surprise. He was very close to screaming once more when he saw the caller ID.

Xalamander
(the not so great)

The male briefly recalled Lexi saying that she had a brother named Xander and the caller ID looked exactly what he expected to be Lexi's nickname for said brother.

He didn't know whether to answer or not. The other members were looking at him questioningly; some even glaring at him to turn the phone off.

In a state of panic, Namjoon answered the call.

"Hell--"

"ALEXANDRA YOU BUMB DITCH WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" a male shrieked from the other line, causing Namjoon to wince and move the phone away from his ear. "EXCUSE ME? WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING? HELLOOO?? LEXI I WILL LITERALLY MURDER YOU--"

"Ah, this isn't Lexi," Namjoon quickly cut off to stop Xander from ranting more. "She is... currently unavailable."

"Huh? Who is this then? What?" Then a gasp. "That is a male's voice I hear..."

Before Namjoon could respond, Xander had began screeching once more.

"ARE YOU LEXI'S BOYFRIEND?" Namjoon choked. "IS THAT A NO OR A NO BECAUSE IT BETTER BE A FUCKING NO OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS."

Then Namjoon heard a female's voice in the background.

"Xander, calm down! Lexi doesn't have a boyfriend. I think."

"YOU THINK?!"

There was sobbing from the other line now.

"Lexi and I haven't even had that talk yet," Xander said, weeping dramatically. "How could she go off and get a boyfriend just like that? And not tell me?! I thought the only dude who wasn't afraid of her was Liam! God, I thought she was gonna end up with that little toad too... WHY MUST NOTHING GO MY WAY?!"

Namjoon had absolutely no idea what to do. Lexi was right; her brother was insane.

"Um... pardon?" Namjoon said, not knowing what else to say. "Are you alright?"

There was a pause.

"...you don't sound like Lexi's age," Xander said, sounding absolutely terrified. "In fact, you sound like my age! Are you a pedo?! What are you doing to my sister?! Did you blackmail her into this relationship?! GIVE HER BACK TO ME OR I SWEAR--"

"I'm not dating your sister!" Namjoon screamed, face completely red at all the accusations being thrown at him. A pedophile, of all things, he thought, a palm on his forehead as he shook his head in disbelief.

The other members were now staring at him oddly. Jungkook, who was close enough to hear the conversation, was snickering. Namjoon didn't know whether to tell him to shut up or to be proud that he could understand what they were saying.

Either way, Xander was still screeching.

"ARE YOU A KIDNAPPER THEN?!"

"XANDER I TOLD YOU TO PUT THE PHONE DOWN."

"BUT LEXI'S IN DANGER."

"She's not! Sit down and let me explain to you!"

"BUT JINHEE--"

With that, the phone call was cut and Namjoon was left to stare at the door to the audition room in absolute astonishment.

What the hell just happened?

okay guys that's it i swear i'm done 😂✌️

Mohmoo is (finally) officially out (~‾∇‾)~