Save Us!

Chapter Eleven (Cedrik)

November 7th, 2059

"Mankind are governed more by their feelings than by reason."

Samuel Adams

My attempted – and failed – suicide was followed by the first successful (and peaceful) coup d’état in American history.

I resisted the urge to pick at the gauze bandage wrapped around the wound in my neck. My hand brushed against the collar of the suit they’d given me to put on. I’d just been let out of the hospital to be the orator at the celebration today. It was a grand event – there were performers and many speakers as well as a lottery – all to celebrate the military takeover.

And for the first time ever, I was nervous. Ever since I’d woken up in the hospital, all connected to the IV and everything, I hadn’t been able to speak like I used to.

I still couldn’t get over the embarrassment of the moment.

I woke up to the sound of beeping.

“Finally awake, are you?” the doctor had said.

I had looked around, feeling the bandage on my neck and the IV in my arm.

“The Commander will be in here soon enough. He wants to speak with you.”

I’d felt this awful sinking feeling. I would be punished, I knew that much. Punished or worse. As I waited for the Commander to come see me, the nervous feeling increased until I was almost hyperventilating. I hadn’t known what was wrong with me: I’d never felt this nervous before over anything.

The Commander finally entered the wing and went to stand by my bed.

“Cedrik,” he said.

“Y-yes sir,” I had stuttered, then immediately snapped my mouth shut. Stuttering?

“This can’t happen again, Cavy. Unacceptable behavior.”

I just nodded, terrified of stumbling over my words. The thing I’d been best at was now disintegrating before my eyes.

“You’ll still be speaking at the celebration. You are aware of this, yes?”

I had steeled myself before speaking. “What celebration?”

“For the coup d’état,” he said.

Conflicting emotions had filled me at once. We were in charge – we’d won – but why wasn’t I happier? We were in charge – victorious, heroes… why was my stomach sinking? I had to speak in public. Terror and reprimand filled me, battling against each other…

The Commander had left soon after that, and up till today, I’d spent most of my days alone, sleeping, healing, and ignoring what I’d done. Leon had visited me a few times, but I felt as though a barrier had separated us, cutting off our old connection.

“Hey,” he’d said awkwardly, sitting down in the chair next to my bed.

“Hey.”

There was a long pause.

“Went and landed yourself in the hospital again,” he’d said, laughing a little.

I’d managed a smile and a nod, though it was a bit painful.

He coughed and looked around. “Nicer room, though.”

“Yeah.”

Another long pause.

“Why’d you do it?” he had asked out of nowhere, like it’d really been bugging him.