Save Us!

Chapter Seventeen (Cedrik)

November 10th, 2059

"All men should strive

to learn before they die

what they are running from, and to, and why."

James Thurber

I sprinted until the sun stopped showing me the way. Then I collapsed.

The first time Bain had confronted me, I’d run away.

And now – he’d confronted me again, and I’d run away. Again.

And why?

Why?

I coughed, my lungs raw from the cool night air, and my shoulder spasmed. I had to stop myself from crying out.

Because you were scared, a voice in my head whispered.

I had no idea where I was. It was dark. I was injured and exhausted, and most of all, alone.

And I was scared.

My dad hated anyone who wasn’t white, straight, rich, and religious.

I hated them because he did, and I wanted him to be proud of me.

But there’d always been that voice in the back of my head, saying really, what’s wrong with them? They’re different, not inferior.

I was always too scared to ask him.

The Agents hated anyone who wasn’t white, straight, and rich.

I hated them because they did, and if I didn’t, they would kick me out.

I’d never protested.

But what about now?

I remembered the pact we two had made, all the things we’d done together.

I remembered the night before I left.

I pulled it out of the bottom of my mind for the first time since that day.

I’d been sitting on the bed, just sitting. I don’t remember why, it wasn’t important, anyway. He’d come in. “Hey Ced,” he’d said. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” I’d said. After that conversation, I couldn’t count how many times I had wished I’d said something – anything else. Sorry, I’m busy. Not right now. Some other time, okay?

But I hadn’t. I’d said sure.

He had sat on the bed next to me. His hands were knotted together in his lap and he kept biting his lip.

“What’s the matter? You look upset,” I’d said.

“I’ve been thinking a lot,” he’d replied.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He’d paused, then looked at me. “We’re best friends, yeah?”

I’d thought it was the stupidest question in the world. We hadn’t known each other for long, but I couldn’t imagine him not being around. “Course we are,” I’d said. “Best in the world.”

“Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

I had cocked my head at him. I remember being confused. “Nope.”

“Oh.” He’d started messing with a hole in his jeans, clenching the other hand next to him.

“Why?”