Longing for You - Deamus

The Hogwarts Express

The Hogwarts Express was unusually quiet when Seamus boarded that morning. He quickly found an empty compartment as far away as possible from a group of laughing Slytherins and flung himself down by the window. He didn't want to think about how this was the first time he had ridden the Hogwarts Express without Dean, he didn't want to think about how this was the last time he would ever ride it, he didn't want to think about whether or not Dean was alive but alas, it was impossible.

He was worried sick. He needed Dean alive and by his side, he needed Dean happy. He just needed Dean. He had spent the whole summer in lonely solitude because his mam didn't want him sneaking off to kiss boys or whatever else she thought gay people did. He had reminded her that the number of eligible gay men in rural Ireland was exactly zero but that didn't seem to calm her. And now he was going back to the only place where he had felt at home and he was going to be lonely there too because he was going to be there without his best friend.

Best friend, the thing Seamus had always wished to have. Now he slightly detested the word. He didn't want a best friend anymore, at least he didn't want Dean for a best friend. He wanted to hold hands with him, cuddle up to him with a cup of tea and a box of cookies, kiss him until his vision went blurry and he forgot about everyone else. That certainly wasn't what you did with best friends. But Seamus was pretending, living in a dream where everything was happy and Dean was alive and gay and nothing was uncertain. But that's exactly what it was: uncertain, unpredictable, unrealistic.

The door to the compartment slid open, breaking Seamus's train of thought. He looked up to see Neville, he had secretly hoped it was Dean and that the whole thing had been a joke or a dream but at least Neville was better than being alone.

"Hey Sea, can I sit here?"

"Yeah go ahead," Seamus mumbled.

Neville hauled his trunk above the seats and sat down next to him.

"Did you fall out with Dean? You normally get on together."

Seamus looked up, repressing the urge to burst into a surge of uncontrollable tears.

"Didn't you hear? It's all over the Prophet. Muggle borns aren't allowed back into Hogwarts - Dean's not coming back."

Seamus stared at his feet and there was an uncomfortable silence, Neville seemed to know what he was thinking.

"Galloping gorgons," Neville muttered, "I knew Snape was bad but I didn't know he'd do that."

"Seriously though, how did you not know about that? Front page of the Daily Prophet for weeks!"

"Gran stopped buying it, made her too angry. We've been getting the Quibbler instead, Xen must've forgotten to cover it."

Seamus was taken aback by this - he couldn't imagine how someone could 'forget' to cover that kind of news but he had a feeling that maybe the Quibbler wasn't reliable, although the Daily Prophet wasn't exactly unbiased.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before the door opened again, it was Luna and Ginny.

"Hey guys, mind if we come in?" sang Luna's unnaturally cheerful voice.

"No, come on in," said Neville.

Ginny looked particularly dishevelled, he red hair was untidy and there were dark circles around her eyes. It must've been really hard, not only losing Harry who she obviously really cared about but also losing her brother, Seamus thought. He instantly felt a huge amount of sympathy for Ginny - she must be really scared.

"Woah woah woah, what are we doing?" Seamus blurted out, "we've given up! Harry, Ron, Hermione and Dean have gone and we've given up? What did Harry say on the last day of school, Neville?"

"He said we need to fight, he told us to protect the school." said Neville, curiously.

"Exactly. Do you think they want us to be sat here feeling sorry for ourselves? Yes I'm terrified of what might happen to them, yes I'm worried that they might not come back but I'm not giving up on them! We always had faith in Harry, we always knew he would pull through and win it and we always fought for him no matter what! So they may not be at Hogwarts but we are damn well going to stick up for them! And Snape may be in control of the school but who says we have to be quiet about it?"

He hadn't planned to say any of that, in fact Seamus was perfectly happy to spend the whole year wallowing in self-pity but he knew it wasn't right. He was going to be loud, he was going to take control and he was going to lead. He needed to be as brave as Dean.

"I agree. They can't do it by themselves, we need to fight from inside Hogwarts. For Dumbledore's Army." Ginny piped up.

"We're taking over from Harry as joint leaders of the DA then, agreed?" said Seamus.

"Agreed!" They all said in unison.

"Someone has to tell the others then," Luna smiled. "We can't be a four person army."

"We still have the fake galleons Hermione made," answered Ginny, "I don't think Snape knows about them, we can call a meeting in the Room of Requirement."

Seamus felt a lot happier now. He was actually doing something useful instead of sitting around helplessly wondering what it would be like if Dean were here. He was digging a tunnel out of Hogwarts and Dean was digging one in, eventually they had to meet in the middle. But now, Seamus wasn't digging alone, he had friends to help him and, for the first time in a while, he had faith that he could do it. He just had to be patient.

('>')

Couldn't all be sad could it? I felt like writing something uplifting and now Seamus is happy (or as happy as you can be knowing your best friend/boyfriend/not boyfriend could be dead) so yay.

Happy Sunday everyone! (pahahahaha everyone - gowan then trick yourself into thinking people actually read your story)