Longing for You - Deamus

Be My Valentine

Valentine's Day came around very slowly. But when it arrived, you damn well knew about it. Naturally, it wasn't quite as big of an event as it had been while Professor Lockhart had been there to organise it but it was still a grandiose and highly intrusive occasion.

Hogwarts had been deprived of celebration since Snape had taken charge. No one had stayed for Christmas and pretty much every day felt like Halloween anyway. Valentine's Day for a lot of people was a gateway back to normal teenage life full of crush courting and heart shaped chocolates. Seamus and Ginny, however, were miserable.

The initial panic had set in two weeks before February 14th when the pair had been walking down a corridor and a gargoyle showered the 'lovely couple' in pink confetti. Not only did it completely clash with Ginny's hair, it reminded them once again of their lost loves. It also didn't help that the whole castle seemed to have been doused in amortentia.

Parvati and Lavender had been making googly eyes at each other the whole day and Seamus tried so hard not to hate them. It felt like a punch in the gut to see your friends looking so happy when it took kilojoules worth of energy just to appear alive most days. He was getting by though and that's what mattered.

Seamus and Ginny chose to seek solace in the library even though they had little to study; they really just enjoyed watching giggling couples get chucked out for being too disruptive.

With a frustrated sigh, Seamus closed his book on the History of Pureblood Achievements.

"Hey Gin, I'm going to go find something more interesting than this crap. Do you need anything?" He whispered to his friend.

"No I'm still alright somehow, but thanks."

Seamus wandered over to a section of shelves reserved for 7th Years. Annoyingly, Draco Malfoy was stood there searching through the spines of dusty books. Seamus tried to browse in silence and avoid eye contact at all costs but it was to no avail.

"What are you looking for? 'Legal Loopholes and Leprechauns' perhaps?" Draco sneered.

"'The Imperius Curse and How to Abuse It' actually." Seamus glared back.

"Hmm. I don't think that's on the syllabus, Finnigan. What would Professor Snape say? Perhaps I can offer you 'The Muggle Conspiracy' instead."

"Fuck off Malfoy."

"My father is the chair of governors, did you know? It would be a shame if he were hear that certain students had been looking at dangerous, rebellious literature."

"Your father seems to hear about a lot of things to be honest. Has he heard about the time Hermione punched you in the face in third year? Has he heard that you sometimes make paper birds and enchant them to fly over to Harry in charms class? Has he heard your moans at night as you touch yourself to gay thoughts about the famous Harry Potter with his perfect hair and his perfect scar? Because I'd be surprised if he hadn't."

Draco's face was fire. He grabbed hold of Seamus by the tie and lifted him until their scowling faces were inches apart. "Don't you fucking dare. I know spells that could have your balls on the ceiling if you dare do anything. Just leave me the fuck alone." He dropped the smaller boy and pulled a book off the shelf. "Here's your dumb book anyway."

Seamus dusted himself off and grabbed the book. As he walked back to his table, he look behind him to see Draco sat on the windowsill with his head in his hands. He only felt slightly bad. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned Harry on Valentine's Day but how much leeway can you really give a bully?

Harry was gone just the same as Dean was gone. And Luna too. Just because Draco made some bad decisions in his life doesn't make his emotions less valid. If anything, it made them more complex and therefore more difficult to process. Suddenly, Seamus felt a wave of compassion for the boy.

Walking over felt completely wrong. Forming the apology in his head felt even more wrong. But the part of him that needed to comfort another gay in need spurred him on - it was the right thing to do.

"Hi."

"I thought I told you to fuck off."

"Yes, you did, quite angrily if I remember correctly. But I actually came to apologise... or something."

"Or something?" Draco sounded unconvinced.

"I know you're in a difficult position right now. And I know you think you hide it well but I can see it. Some people call it sadness, Luna calls it wrackspurts, I call it hopeless gay pining."

"I'm not hopeless!"

"No you're not and neither am I. But you are gay and you are pining for Harry if I'm not mistaken so you undoubtedly feel like your crush is hopeless."

"I'm listening."

Seamus smiled, this was going at least 12x better than he had expected.

"Look, Dean's gone too. I know what you're feeling although I can guess that yours is far worse given your... circumstances. The point is, if you need to talk to someone who gets it, Ginny and I can help."

"I have friends, I'm not a loner."

"I know that. But you can never have too many friends right?"

"I can't. I can't be your friend and you know that." Draco was dead serious, he had that lonely look in his eyes that showed how badly he wanted to accept the offer but all the people watching him said he couldn't."

"That's understandable. But just so you know, I think you're a bit of a prat but I don't think you're a horrible person and if it gets really bad I'll still be there for you."

Draco was silent in contemplation. "Thank you" he muttered out after a while.

Seamus wandered back to his table completely baffled by how well that had gone.

"What was all that about?" Ginny inquired with her eyebrows knitted together.

"He needs help that he can't accept. He knows we've got good intentions now."

'>'

Well that was weirdly intimate.

Cool bye.