Longing for You - Deamus

Cruelly

"Morning queer!" laughed a horrifically chipper voice from somewhere far off.

In his momentary morning confusion, Dean was almost happy. He was at home with his sisters and his parents, he hadn't been expelled from school and the distant insult wasn't directed at him. But it was only momentary because seconds later it all came back to him and the heavy fatigue wrapped around his body tempting him to give up and just kill himself already. He might've if it weren't for the thought of succeeding in his search and seeing Seamus again. That was more than enough to live for.

There was someone knocking on the wood next to his head and Dean let out a low groan. "Rise and shine! We found some mushrooms!" Dirk exclaimed, still far too upbeat.

At the promise of food, Dean clambered out of his personal fortress and sat with Ted and Gornuk on a log staring longingly at the pot of mushrooms roasting on the fire. The fire repelled the early morning chill which threatened to soak through their clothes and numb their bones. Dean was grateful for fire, it was a continuous source of comfort. Maybe, he thought, that's why Seamus was so comforting.

Dirk stirred the steaming pot while Dean, Ted, Griphook and Gornuk impatiently waited. They'd only been out for one day and they were already feeling starved. Dean really hoped there wouldn't be too much pre-amble because he probably wouldn't be able to endure the hunger for much longer. Or Dirk's taunts.

"I wouldn't get too close there Ted, he's into men our Dean!" Dirk joked. Dean sighed in defeat; this is exactly why he hadn't come out at school, he really didn't want to alienate people.

"Oh I'm sure I'll be fine Dirk. Unlike you, Dean doesn't tend to throw himself at anyone he finds attractive." Ted was staring daggers at Dirk and a rush of warmth ran through Dean, he was so glad that someone was sticking up for him.

"Ah lighten up Teddy! He knew it was just a joke!"

"Yeah, sure... joke" Dean mumbled. Ted still looked furious but stayed quiet. They both knew that an argument wasn't worth it, they needed Dirk's help.

"Hey Gornuk," Dean swiftly changed the subject, "where are we going next?"

"We don't know. We don't plan ahead or they'll know we're coming. It has to be random. All I can say is that we leave tonight." It all sounded very mysterious. Neither Dean nor Ted asked who 'they' were, they were frankly rather scared of the answer given the tone of the Goblin's warning.

Finally, the mushrooms were adequately cooked so Dirk distributed the food (although Dean noticed that he did so rather unevenly, giving himself a lot more than everyone else). The mushrooms were slippery and tasteless but they were edible and they seemed to satisfy Dean's hunger. It was quite a harsh transition when one is used to the great feasts of Hogwarts to be thrown into a life of scavenging for whatever you can find on the forest floor.

"So Dean," Dirk started with the tone of voice that Dean associated with an oncoming question about his homosexual tendencies. He inwardly groaned but allowed Dirk to continue (not like he had much choice in the matter, "how many boys have you kissed? I want to know if my lad's getting some!"

"Oh, well none actually."

"But if you haven't kissed any boys then how can you know you're gay?"

"I guess in the same way that you knew you were straight before you started kissing women. There are boys I've wanted to kiss, there are boys I've wanted to spend time with doing nothing in particular, there are boys I've hated being away from for too long. And for your information, I'm not gay, I'm bisexual but I still know I'd be open to the idea of kissing girls. I'd also be open to the idea of kissing someone who doesn't identify as male or female but I assume you have some opinions on that as well so I won't go into it."