We'll Make It Work

Norman - The Final Chapter

April 15, 2015,

It doesn't feel like eight months has gone by. September will never be the same for me again. I didn't know what I should've done, so I left. I should have at least sent a letter or something. But I don't think that's the right way to tell someone you're having their baby. My belly is big. Bigger and bigger everyday. A few weeks left and I'll have her in my arms. I'm naming her Emma. Emma Nicole Reedus. It has a good ring to it. I hope she's like him. Please let her like him.. 

~

May 28, 2016,

A year ago today my sweet Emma was born. Man, time flies, doesn't it? She's absolutely stunning. I fall in love with her every second of everyday. She's my whole world, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. She looks like him. She's got that smile that melts your heart over and over again, she's got his piercing blue eyes. I hope she's like him. Please let her like him.. 

~

August 3, 2016,

Being 21 hasn't changed the way I feel. For my birthday, I just wanted to get better, I wanted them to fin out what is wrong with me, why I feel like this all of the time. I haven't gotten better, but I also haven't gotten worse. Right now I'm just dealing with trying to find everything out. What's going to happen? Who is Emma going to live with?  Why can't they find out what's wrong with me? I have an appointment in a few weeks, hopefully they can find something out. I'm so tired of this. The older Emma gets, the more she acts like Norman. God, she acts just like him. I hope he likes her. Please let him like her.. 

~

January 6, 2018,

It's his day. Happy birthday to him. I hope he's doing good. I hope he's living everyday as if it's his last. You never know when your life could be taken from you. I've gotten worse. No one knows what's wrong with me. They make me feel like I'm going crazy. Helena has been helping me a lot. I've asked her to keep Emma a secret from Norman and Mingus. She says he's found someone, that she's sweet and so lovely. I'm happy for him, so happy. I'm glad he's found someone who won't hurt him. She says he asks about me, about how I'm doing. Of course she lies to him. Tells him I'm doing well. I've always hated lying to him, but I don't want him knowing that I'm sick. He deserves to believe that I'm happy, I wouldn't want to see him hurt. I hate that. Every time I look at her, into those piercing blue eyes, all I see is him. He's everything and everywhere, all of the time. I hope he likes her. Please let him like her.. 

~

March 10, 2018,

My sweet Norman, 

If you're reading this then that means it happened. I'm sorry that Helena lied to you. I'm sorry she told this whole time that I was doing fine. I wanted you to believe that I was doing well so that you would stay happy. I always loved when you were happy. I loved you so, so, much. I will always love you. We have a child. Emma Nicole Reedus. She's exactly what I wanted her to be. She looks like you. She has your eyes, those eyes that I stared in so many times, she has your mouth and your nose. She's a handful just like you, too. I didn't know what to do when I found out. I found out a few weeks after I left, so I called Helena, she's so great. I know now why you fell in love with her when you did. Mingus is lucky to have a mother like her, and you're lucky to have a friend like her. Helena is Emma's adopted mother and you're more than welcome to have custody of her if you'd like. She know's who you are, I never kept that from her. She's too young to understand where I went off to right now. But when she's older, please tell her. Keep her safe for me, Norman. Just like you kept me safe all those nights. I want you to give her those warming hugs that I loved so much. Give her kisses for me, will you?