A Second Chance

A Second Chance Part 3

"Who is she?" the voice is quiet and filled with horrified wonder and as I crack my eyes open I have to bite back the yelp of shock that wants to force its way from my throat as I see I am surrounded by four tiny men. 
"The hobbits," I whisper in wonder as I glance at Aragorn who nods his head in confirmation, that slightly suspicious look still on his face as it is every time he looks at me.

"She knows what we are," one of them says in delight and I can't help but smile a little at their enthusiasm, I open my mouth to speak but catching Aragorn's eye and seeing his warning glare I realise that he is telling me not to let on anything and so I shut my mouth again instead and let him speak.

"Get some sleep my little friends, we cannot stay here and tomorrow we must start a journey you will need your rest for," Aragorn says and he pulls me out of the bed none to gently to allow them to sleep in it.

"I am coming with you?" I ask in a whisper once they are all asleep and he looks at me for a long moment before answering.

"That depends, what do you know of them?" he asks with a gesture towards the bed and I follow the movement so that I can see the four small bodies curled up together.

"I know that their names are Sam, Pippin, Merry and Frodo and I know that Frodo carries the ring," I whisper back and then tense as feel him move forwards grabbing my hair and pushing me into the wall, I was getting a bit tired of this act every time I say anything.

"I ought to kill you now," he growls and I flinch visibly despite my best efforts not to,

"I have done nothing wrong," I plead and he growls pushing me further into the wall, my back hitting painfully against still fresh bruises from my journey here.

"You could be a spy,"

"If I was a spy do you think I would have come unarmed and helpless?" I ask frustration once more beginning to bubble beneath my skin.

"You may have planned on using my good nature, of seducing me," he comments and I actually laugh out loud at that.

"First of all I am yet to see much of this good nature which you speak of and secondly if it was my intention to seduce you do you not think I would have attempted that whilst I was sitting in front of you almost naked earlier this day?" I ask angry tears clouding my vision slightly.

"I could have left you in the woods to die," he says stubbornly and I shake my head at him, "I still cannot trust you," he continues and I sigh again sinking onto the windowsill as he finally releases his grip on my hair.

"That is not my fault I have never been anything but honest with you since the moment we met, I think that if I was a spy I might be a little less forthcoming with the details and I may have also made up a better story," I say in exasperation.

"And why should I trust you?" he asks now,

"Because all I want is to help," I say quietly and he makes a noise of disbelief at this which makes me cringe slightly.

"Why would you want to put yourself at risk to help someone, help people you don't even know?" he sneers,

"Because..." I say trailing off avoiding making eye contact with him.

"Because what?" he pushes and I suddenly find myself on my feet my voice rising slightly.

"Because my life is shit and for the last few years the only thing that has kept me sane is reading about this world, reading stories about your lives. I didn't know any of it was true I thought it was all just made up. You saved my life, the stories I mean, they saved my life so many times and now I just want to return the favour... I just wanted a second chance," I say my voice faltering and finally trailing off into a whisper as I feel my face flaming with embarrassment and I cannot look him in the eye as I cross to the other side of the room ignoring it when the hobbits awaken, ignoring the story of the ring wraiths, I had read it so many times I knew it by heart anyway and I was too humiliated.

"Put these on, we are to leave in a few minutes," Aragorn's voice is as formal and hard as always and I am almost thankful for him not bringing my earlier outburst up. I take the clothes from him, his spares I assume and some rope to help keep the trousers from falling down.

"So I am coming too then?" I ask in a hesitant whisper,

"I still do not trust you but maybe Gandalf and my father will have some answers," he mutters and I give him a tiny smile knowing that this is the best I am going to get.

It is halfway through our second day of walking that growling in frustration Aragorn rounds on me and pulling out a knife drops to his knees and begins to cut the trousers I am wear so that they no longer drag across the floor and trip me all the time. Needless to say this causes a great amount of amusement for the hobbits and embarrassment for me.

"I did not complain," I say,

"I am tired of hearing you stumble," he replies and then we are on our way again. It is a journey that takes a long time, far longer than the movies or books make it sound, far, far longer and incredibly boring and tiring. Aragorn barely talks at all and whilst I occasionally speak to the hobbits I am scared to say too much in case Aragorn decides that I am a spy again and actually kills me, I am just praying that Gandalf or Elrond will be able to work out what had happened to me and convince Aragorn that I could be trusted. All in all by the time we reach the point where the ring wraiths would attack us I am so exhausted and lonely and bored of walking that I almost forget all about the events until I wake to the sound of the screams of the creatures.

"Oh shit," I yelp as I jump up and position myself in front of him. Once again this is a moment that seems to last a lot longer than it does in the movies or stories. I have no weapon, Aragorn still did not trust me enough for that and I have no idea what to do. The hobbits are thrown aside like dolls as the wraiths approach Frodo and so I leap for Merry's dropped sword and move to attack them, thinking that maybe like the stories I read I would somehow be a brilliant fighter, needless to say I am not. My body connects so quickly and so hard with the rock that for a moment I cannot breathe at all, my vision blurred as I gasp for breath and sound muffled. I see shapes and blurs of flame and screaming as if it is under water, the ringing in my ears is so strong that I move my hands to cover them only to realise that only one arm seems to work. As my senses come back to me I pull myself to my feet and stumble towards where Frodo is lying. The panic is palpable as instructions are shouted and we are on our way and the emotion I had felt reading about this was nothing compared to being in it. I was watching him die, watching those who knew him best grieve whilst they felt both helpless and hopeless to do anything.

When Arwen appears I feel more surplus to requirement than I ever had, uglier than I ever had and more stupid than I ever had in my life. I shrink back away from her glowing beauty and calm and avoid watching the scene before me.

"Why did you not warn me?" I am so caught off guard as I am once again hurled against a tree and held at sword point by Aragorn that a cry of both shock and pain is ripped from my throat and the other three hobbits look on in complete and uncomprehending surprise.

"I forgot," I gasp out once I have managed to swallow the sickness washing through me at the pain his movements have sent rocketing through my shoulder.

"Forgot!" he snarls his anger rolling off of him and over me making a shiver of fear rush through my own body.

"I was exhausted A... Strider, I was so tired I was not thinking and it wasn't until I woke up that I remembered," I plead willing the tears that were gathering in my eyes to not fall, "I tried to help," I add angry at myself for being weak. I had never been helpless, maybe if I had I would have been like the girls in the stories I had read but I had never had the opportunity, I had always been the one that everyone assumed could look after herself.

"She's right Strider, she tried to help honestly but they were too strong," Pippen says now and he drops me quickly where I sink to the floor my legs no longer able to hold me up and I try and fail to hold in the tiny whimper of pain that escapes me as I hold my, what I think is dislocated, shoulder.

"Strider why did you do that?" Merry asks in shock as they gather around me and help me to my feet after I had had a moment to collect myself.

"I told you we should not have trusted him," Sam mutters darkly and I want to smile but am too ashamed and hurt and scared to do so.

"It was not his fault Sam, I am to blame," I whisper and standing up straighter I catch Aragorn's eye and can't quite place the look on his face so I look away and continue to walk.