Learning to Hope

Chapter 4 ~ Killian

            There are certain things that all people avoid. In my case it's my past, I have confronted it but it still haunts me at times. There are things that can never be forgotten and become a part of you. All I can do is hope that I have taken the right choices until now and keep moving forward. -Killian

Killian

"HEY WAIT!!!" I yelled at the total stranger that I bumped into.

When I helped her pick up her stuff I accidentally put my backpack on one of her notebooks. I called out to her, but she quickly put her earphones and raced away on her bike. It kind of looked like her ass was on fire the way she couldn't wait to get out of there. Not that I could blame her.

Both Adam and Chelsea were giving me funny looks.

"What was that about?" Adam said.

"What do you mean?" I answered genuinely confused. What the hell is going on? Am I missing something here?

"Well you know, defending the bitch, staring at her, yelling for her...just all of it. What was that?" Chelsea asked.

"I was not defending her and you were harsh on her. Maybe she was just having a bad day, and bumping into me was the tip of the iceberg." I lifted the brown notebook to show them. "Also, she forgot this."

When I lifted the notebook to show them tons of papers scattered. Damn! I looked frustrated as the papers idly fell from the notebook. Hope she doesn't have anything too important on here.

"Help me pick this up, ple-" I was asking Adam and Chelsea before I realized what it was I was picking up.

Holy shit! She is fucking good! I scrambled to get all the papers I could without damaging them.

"Oh my god!?! Are these real? They are really good! Adam look at this!" Chelsea picked up some of the papers and shoved some towards Adam.

Adam only nodded as an acknowledgment.

"Who would have thought she was capable of drawing this good! These things are amazing!" Chelsea exclaimed.

I am guessing that the girl was getting towards Chelsea's good side. She was right though, the drawings are incredible. That girl had talent. She must be an art major. Maybe I could ask around so I can return these to her. I lightly went over the drawings with my fingertips. The drawings are great, but there is something more about them. Staring at them is almost like an addiction. Like I said these are great, but I don't see any happiness or color within them. What could possibly drive a person towards drawings such as these? For some reason, even I can't explain, her expressionless face and hollow eyes replayed into my mind.

I decided to call it a night, completely forgetting about my Starbucks, and began to walk home. My apartment is only a 10-minute walk if I am being lazy. I began my journey home, I decided to pass through the arboretum. Passing through here in the night is a lot calmer than the day. Just passing through there is pure silence, nothing but the rustling of the leaves caressed by the wind. I gazed up at the stars. A thought zapped through my brain and I scanned through the sketchbook.

"Aha! I knew it looked similar." I talked to myself, as I glanced at the sketch.

This sketch exactly what was seeing around me right now. There on the bench on top of a small hill, I sat, imitating the image before me. I smiled at that fact. I raised the picture higher to compare my surroundings. Slowly that smile faded. This is the landscape she had drawn, but there were some differences. I am not much of an art person but I could tell the emotions behind the piece of paper. On the drawing there was a woman sitting on the bench, only her back was shown. Yet, it is almost as I could feel that the woman in the drawing was deeply hurt. The trees are similar, but in the drawing, they are much bigger and darker. The drawing made it seem as if the woman was small and insignificant. I took another glance at the picture and closed my eyes. It's almost as if I could feel the pain, lonesomeness, and sadness radiate from the paper in front of me.

This drawing was bringing memories back that I wanted to forget. I felt those emotions I constantly try to block out.

I shook my head. To get the memory out of my head. That was in the past, I have moved on. I was better now and had friends that are here for me.

I walked with determination to get to my apartment. As I entered I was welcomed by the darkness. I sighed and locked the door. I moved passed the living room and towards my room. Today has been exhausting. I could practically hear my bed calling me to it. Without a second thought, I crashed onto it. Not bothering to sleep under the blankets and welcomed any dreams that came. But instead I was haunted by honey brown eyes with attitude, I laughed at the thought and quickly drifted into sleep.