au in which your soulmates name appears on your wrist, TW for self harm
Connor sat in his room, swearing under his breathe as he pressed a cloth to his bleeding wrists. He knew he shouldn't have cut, he was almost a week clean, but he also knew he deserved it. He bit his lip until it started to bleed, his eyes watering but he refused to cry.
I'm so fucking stupid...
He winced, feeling almost a dagger digging into his skin. He thought he was pressing to hard with the cloth, but he removed it to see faint letters start to appear through his snow white pale skin.
Connor started breathing heavily, wet tears streaming down his face in pure terror. He scratched at it, seeing if it would disappear. He nearly fell to the floor, instead falling onto his knees and starting to shiver. He tried to read the faint lettering appearing on his wrist.
Evan Ha-
His breathe hitched, immediately picturing the boy walking down the hallway with a blue polo shirt and soft dirty blonde hair, and an awfully cute ass. Connor had shoved him into the lockers as he had run to the bathroom in panic the other day, and regretting it for days to follow.
What could the universe possibly have planned for him and Evan Hansen. Evan was the perfect student, quiet, but incredible. He was amazing at seemingly everything, except maybe in gym, and was really hot in his own special way. Connor had been crushing on him for quite some time, but he always tried to push it out of his mind because he was almost certain Evan wasn't gay.
Evan Hansen was in his room rocking back and fourth. He itched his wrist over and over, trying to see if it was ink being etched into his skin. The name reading Connor Murphy was appearing faintly and he had no idea what to think. Connor was the guy who shoved him into a locker, but he seemed in a hurry so he guessed it was okay. He deserved it anyways. Connor wore edgy things like lace up boots and carried a messenger bag. Evan wished he could be more like him, but he didn't want to stand out more than he did. He wished he could disappear. But he wanted to stay in the same universe as Connor. He wanted to be with Connor. He tried to dismiss the thought but he couldn't help but loved the boy's pretty hair and his unique personality.
Both the boys had passed out quite early, waking up in the morning and both hoping the taboo tattoo's were gone.
Connor walked into school, his head down, rushing to get to his first period class without having to talk to anyone. He cried out softly as he crashed shoulders with a boy passing by.
Evan looked at Connor, gasping and looking down at both of their wrists, seeing his name on the other boys.
"Sorry! I'm so sorry. Really, I-I'm sorry..." Evan rambled on, stopping after turning bright red and walking away quickly.
"It's oka-" Connor stopped as he saw Evan rushed a way. He had seen Evan gazing at his wrist, and he thought he had seen a sliver of something that looked like his name etched on Evan's skin.
Connor couldn't stop tapping his pencil on his wrist, and every time he did he didn't know Evan felt little taps coursing through Connor's name on his wrist.
around lunch time, Evan felt his heart drop as a sharp pain slashed at his wrists. Tears spiked in his eyes as he held his wrist close, knowing exactly what Connor was doing. He got up from the corner he was sitting in, running to the mens bathroom.
Connor couldn't stop now. He was already so far in and he smiled at the blood trickling down his arms. He sighed in some relief, wincing only a little. Suddenly, the stall door was slammed open and nobody but Evan was staring right at him.
"S-Stop. P-Please stop! I c-can't take it... And y-you don't deserve this! You're actually r-really cool an-and..." Evan shrunk, tears streaming down his face and trying to fumble into Connor's hands to grab the blade.
"Why do you care? It's nothing to you." Connor said blushing, trying to keep his tough persona.
"Because it h-hurts... Me too. Not just emotionally... But physically..." He held out his wrist to Connor, the other's eyes widening at seeing large red slashes around his own name on Evan's wrist.
"I-I'm so fucking sorry Evan... I didn't think..." He slammed his fist against the stall wall, choking on dry tears.
"No... It's okay... B-But why do we have each others names...? I-It's not that i mind! You're really nice and cute and-" Evan shut himself up, hiding his face a little.
"I-I have no idea... I'm really sorry. You don't deserve this. You're so good and i'm over here being a dick and shoving you and I'm just... Horrible." Connor murmured, holding his head in his hands.
"Hey... It's okay... M-My friend, Alana told me... That if two people were really... Destined... For each other... Their soul mates name would appear on their wrists..."
"But... You don't deserve to be with me? You need someone so much better... Plus you're not even gay."
"I am, actually. Bisexual, though. Just quiet and closeted. And I don't deserve any better, I deserve to be alone... To disappear." Evan said with a laugh, thinking how pathetic he sounded.
"No one, I mean that, deserves to be forgotten. Maybe me, but you don't. P-Plus you're... kind of really adorable. And you're... amazing. Not everyone would rush in on the suicidal emo kid..."
Evan stood shocked, not believing that someone could possibly like him. He looked into his eyes, seeing only truthful glances. He decided to try to somewhat flirt but remain sentimental all at once.
"Y-You're pretty... Incredible yourself..."
"Do you maybe... Wannagooutwithmesometime? It would be totally cool if not like i'm such a bad kid and-"
"Connor."
"S-Sorry I shouldn't have-"
"I would love to..." Evan said softly, leaning in slowly to meet Connor's lips.
Connor kissed back quickly, slowly and gently, wrapping an arm protectively around Evan's back. Evan went deeper into the kiss, leaning his head more and occasionally stoping to kiss Connor's jawline a little.
Connor's face turned bright red as he saw a whole new side to Evan Hansen, he liked it. he stopped the kiss, smiling and looking right into Evan's green eyes.
"You're a good kisser, Evan Hansen."
"You too, Connor Murphy."
"Meet me after class?"
"Lets skip." Sweet, pure Evan said with a naughty grin. If they really were soulmates, why not spend the time to skip one little day of school. He grabbed Connor and kissed him quick and sweet, grabbing his hand and pulling the other boy up.
"Sounds like a plan, babe."
//
a.n: ahh cringe!!! this was requested by @kimjizou and i'm sorry it's so bad!!! feel free anyone to request fanfic hahaha. i can't promise it'll be good but i really do enjoy writing gay shit ^-^
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Dear Evan Hansen One Shots // Treebros
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