Healing The Desolated Heart

IX

I walked inside the room where my once breathing mom, but now dead was

I saw her lying there lifeless just like Quinn

Pale skin

White lips

Those were the definition of what she looked like in this state

Hoping that she wouldn't die just like what Quinn hoped for

Sadly that wasn't the plan ahead of her

I went towards the hospital bed where she was laying and kissed her hand softly. I tried to hold back my tears, but seeing the person who raised you and gave you life, was no longer breathing is very heart breaking

"H-hey mom" I smiled, looking at her closed eyes, waiting for it to open

"I know you can't h-hear me anymore. But d-do you remember when Q-quinn died... I was broken and scared and angry, I-i didn't know what to do... t-then you were there. You were the l-light from my darkness that helped me get over those hard phases in life." I sniffled

"Even so, I will try to be the daughter you want to be. I wil try to be strong for you. This isn't what I imagined us to be, but I will try to be what you imagined myself to be" I squeezed her hand

"Me and dad will love and cherish you, always and forever" and in those last moments I knew that things wouldn't be the same like before, just like my last moments when I was with Quinn

I left the room crying my eyes out

"Val-" Ethan tried to comfort me

"Not now Ethan, not now" I looked at him one last time before going inside our car where dad was waiting.

On our way home was silent, you could hear the sound of rain dropping

But what is home? Where is home?

From what I know, home is where comfort and family is

Where is comfort? All I have been facing is sadness, anger, and fear. Everything about comfort is not what I'm feeling these past weeks.

Hell, I dont even know what comfort feels like anymore

Comfort is when someone holds you dearly and promises that the whole world is innocent and good

Right now, no one can hold me and promise me everything is fine

Right now, the whole world is against me and keeps feeding me pain again and again

What did I ever do to deserve this! I know I promised to try and stay strong, but at this point... I'm not sure if I can stay strong.

My walls have been broken, my barriers have crushed, everything right now is becoming a blur

When we got home, the house was silent as ever. No one greeting us with warm hugs, no one telling us to do chores, no one getting mad at me because I didn't do my bed, no one asking us how our day was.

Everything changed with such short amount of time

Then dad suddenly broke down and cried silently

"Dad, its okay. Everything will be the same again" Will it?

"We can do this" Can we?

"I can get past this" Can I?

"You can get past this, Dad" Can he?

All I'm saying now is words full of lies. Lies that are far from the truth