When We Collide (Harry Styles)

Chapter 14

Harry hasn't left my side since we started talking again and although I enjoyed not being alone all the time, I was kind of sick of him. All he would do is sit there and tell me things about us that he's already told me. He's constantly worrying about me and tries to even come to the bathroom with me. I'm not broken. I don't understand what he's trying to do but it's getting old fast.

I don't understand what's wrong with him but Harry's been pacing around the small room for the past 10 minutes and it's making me uncomfortable.

"Harry, what're you doing?"I asked as I raised an eyebrow at him. 

He stopped moving momentarily to look at me before continuing to pace around again and muttering a simple answer, "Nothing"

"Well can you stop doing 'nothing' and sit down?" I asked as I gripped the thin blanket and pulled them up further, "It's making me uncomfortable"

Harry finally stopped pacing and silently sat down at the foot of my bed.

"Sorry," he whispered but still continued fidgeting, with his hands.

I don't know what's wrong with him and part of me doesn't want to know but I asked anyway.

"What's wrong?" My voice was small with the fear of his answer as my mind raced with the worst possible outcomes.

"Nothing," He said again before standing up and walking to the door, "I'll be back soon" 

Once again I was left alone and couldn't stop thinking about how eerie and dark this room felt. I'm due to go home later today so hopefully I can just be by myself, in my own bed. I haven't left this bed apart from going to the bathroom for the past week and I'm beginning to think I've forgotten how to use my legs.

I wasn't sure how long had passed but Harry still wasn't back. I was getting ready to go home now, my Mum came to the hospital and signed my release forms and brought me a change of clothes for the journey home. I was relieved with the fact that my legs didn't give way as soon as I got out of bed, but the cramp I got in my calve set those thoughts aside.

"Are you ready to go?" My Mum asked knocking me out of my thoughts. I looked around the now fully white room for anything of mine that I might have left behind. I nodded my head towards her and swung my bag over my shoulder.

"Are you glad to be getting home?" Mum asked from the drivers seat of the car.

I had been in deep thought for the last 20 minutes of the ride and was starting to wonder if we were close yet.

"I guess I am, I mean, it's got to be better than that hospital" I said with a chuckle as she pulled into a driveway.

"Well lets get you inside then" Mum said as she put the gears into park and opened her car door. I followed suit and walked around to the boot of the car to get my bag out before walking up to the front door.

"I think I'm going to have a shower" I said as Mum placed my other bag by my feet.

She nodded and walked off towards the opposite end of the house before calling back to me, "I'll make dinner while you're in there then. Is Lasagna alright?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Thanks Mum" 

I picked up both of my bags and walked up the stairs trying to find my room. Seeing as I had no idea where it was I had to open every door I passed until I found it. It was the last door of the hallway and the bathroom was right next to it.  My bed was unmade and had a t-shirt on the end of it while the rest of the room was spotless. I never remembered being this tidy. I placed the bags down at the end of the bed before picking up the stray t-shirt. It was a mens t-shirt and I guessed it was Harry's. I took the t-shirt with me to the bathroom to wear afterwards because it felt normal, like I had done this many times before and I had hoped it'll help bring some of my memory back.

I got in the shower and sighed at the sudden relief that washed over me, after not being able to have a proper shower for the past week, this felt amazing. I just let the water soak over me, letting the hot water pelt at my back to release the stress my muscles had gained during the week. I washed my hair and shaved my legs before finally getting out.

The towel on the rack on the wall looked new, and since I had no idea where to find another one, I grabbed it. As i wrapped it around my body, my eyes caught sight of the deep purple bruise on my rib cage, I had seen it earlier this week but only once, as it hurt me just to see it. I decided then that I'd have a proper look at myself.

I wiped the mirror clear of the steam and looked at my face. I gasped at the reflection looking back at me. There were no mirrors in my hospital room, so right now was the first time I had looked at myself in 3 years, technically. My eyes started to blur with tears as my eyes racked over the purple under my eyes, the scar that was forming under my left eye and the lump around my lip that I had been playing with during the week.

I looked so weak, yet I didn't feel it. In fact I felt nothing, I couldn't feel the pain unless I touched something and nothing that was happened was affecting me. Sure, I wanted to get my memory back but it didn't feel so important to me. I know it's not normal to feel so, numb.

I couldn't take looking at myself any longer as the destructive thoughts raced through my mind. I dired myself off and pulled the t-shirt over my body, letting it fall to the middle of my thigh. I pulled the underwear I grabbed from a draw up my legs and then wrapped my hair in the towel before walking out.

I walked into my room and a sudden rush of cold hair blew through the room. I looked up to see the window wide open before landing my eyes on the figure that stood next to it.

"Harry, what're you doing here?" I asked as I walked over to my bed.

"I went to the hospital but you weren't there, so I came here to make sure you were okay," the smile on his face was evident which soon turned into a wider smile as he looked at what I was wearing, "Is that my shirt?"

I looked down at the piece of clothing before looking back up at Harry, "I think so, it was on the end of my bed"

He walked closer to me, stopping when he was close enough that I could smell the cigarettes in his breath. I scrunched my nose up at the smell and stepped back.

"What? What's wrong?" Harry asked suddenly worried.

"Your breath smells like cigarettes" I pointed out still in the same spot

"Oh" was all he said before sitting at the end of my bed, almost looking disappointed with himself.

"Did I know you smoked before?"

He shook his head and looked up at me, "Do you mind?" he asked me

I shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing how to feel about the whole thing, "I mean if you don't smoke around me, I guess it's okay"

He nodded at my answer before smiling at me again, "That shirt's always looked great on you"

I smiled at him before sitting down next to him, "You think so?"

He nodded before wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling my into his side.

"I'm sorry" He whispered before pressing his lips against my forehead.

"What for?"

"Everything that's happened to you" He said as his fingers fiddled with the hem on the shirt.

"It's not your fault."

SORRY ITS SHORT! I didn't get to pre-write this so it's probably not very good! Tomorrow's will be the same, sorry!