▶ WHITE NOISE ⭐ THE 100

xxxi. act thirty-one

Don't
Do that
To yourself.
I thought,
After hearing
Those three
Words
Escape
His mouth.
He smiled again,
And held my hand
For a few
More seconds,
Before leaving,
Rushing out
To meet
With Abby.
I stood there,
For ten minutes.
Maybe fifteen.
I wasn't keeping
Count.
All I knew
Is that I'd just
Let him
Leave.
But Spacewalker
Was strong.
Monroe
Was too.
Bellamy was for sure.
But I wasn't positive
That
They could
Take on
A Grounder warrior.
I couldn't
Tell anyone
About where he
Was going.
I'd say that
I woke up
And he was gone.
I turned off
The light,
And sat by the window
Letting the moon
Shine into
The room.
I looked down
At my twin knives,
Running
My finger
Over the edges,
Then put them back.
I'd gotten these
From Grover,
Another one
Of my friends
Who was probably dead.
But I hadn't
Seem his corpse,
So I hadn't
Killed anyone
Else
For him.
I noticed
A few
Extra specks
Of blood
On the edge,
And went to
The bathroom,
Scrubbing it off
With a towel.
When I was done,
I looked
Up.
I hadn't seen
Myself in about
Three days.
My face paint
Was fading
Already.
I could
See
A peak
Of the black tattoo
That ran
From my back
Up to my neck.
I closed my eyes.
How had
I gotten
Myself
Into this mess?
Being Anya's Second
Had always
Been my dream.
I'd had everything
Ready.
I'd take June
To Polis
Someday,
And bring
Stiles
With us.
We'd try
All the food,
Talk with the
Other ambassadors.
But all that
Was gone
Now.
If made my decision.
I'd chosen
Finn Collins
Over
Honor.