It's Sad to Belong

It's Sad to Belong || He's Miserable

This is a short update. I don't proof read.

I loved you more than loved allowed.
- Lang Leav

It's been almost a month since James moved out of Nadine's house.

It's been a month since he last saw her, heard her voice and seen her beautiful face.

It hurts.

It hurts too much.

But he knows he has to accept it; accept the painful reality of waking up every morning without her by his side.

He misses her; more than he wanted and more than he had ever imagined. Living without her is killing him.

Not being able to see her, hold her, hear her laugh and most of all, not being able to be with her kills every part of him.

He is miserable.

He knows he had pushed her away, perhaps pushed her away in the arms of another man.

No, he cannot think of that.

He shouldn't think of that. The thought alone is killing him.

He knows Nadine loves him.

But for how long?

Will she ever fall out of love with him?

The same way he fell out of love with Ericka?

No, the thought alone makes him sick to his stomach.

He tosses in bed; the very same bed he's been sleeping in for the past 4 weeks.

He has been staying in a small, inexpensive motel a few miles away from Nadine's house.

He hasn't figured out what to do.

He will never figure out what to do unless Nadine takes him back.

He wants her back.

He knows he has been such a fool for neglecting her the way he did, and for taking her for granted.

For the past days he has been thinking about all the sacrifices Nadine has done for him.

He always knew it wasn't easy for Nadine, but it wasn't until now that she's gone that he truly realized how much she really sacrificed just to be with him.

It must have been really difficult for her to hold on to him, fighting her own conscience just to be with him.

She never meant to break up his family or break his wife and child's heart, but she fell in love.

And because of it, she became this selfish person who did everything she could just to hold on to the man she loved.

Yes, loved.

Perhaps that's all in the past now.

But James is not ready to let her go.

He reaches for his cellphone and dials Bret's number.

"Hey, bro, what's up?" greets Bret happily.

"Long time no speak. I thought you've died," he jokes.

James chuckles. "I know, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. How are you?"

"I'm good," he answers, sensing his brother's sadness.

"What's wrong, Jaye?"

James sighs and grips the phone tightly.

"My life is a mess," he says, voice cracking. "I don't know what to do."

Bret sighs and closes his eyes.

He can feel his brother's anguish and his heart breaks for him. "Talk to me, brother. Let it all out. I'm here for you," he assures him.

"She is gone, Bret. I've lost her," he says, this time Bret is certain that he is crying.

"Nadine?"

"Yes. And I'm losing my little girl, too," he says, now sobbing.

"I really don't know what to do," he continues to sob hysterically over the phone.

"James, you are not going to lose Sibelle, do you hear me? There is no way Ericka can take her away from you. I know things have been complicated and bad between you two but you are a great father, and we can easily prove that in court."

"My little girl is mad at me, Bret. My little girl hates me," he says, with desperation and pain in his voice.

"No, she does not. You just need to make it up to her. Explain everything to her and for once, be honest with her. Tell her the whole truth. Tell her about your real relationship with her mother, and most importantly, tell her about Nadine. Tell her how much Nadine means to you."

"Nadine's gone, Bret," he says sadly. "I pushed her away."

"And you're just giving up?" says Bret.

"You gotta man up, James. If you love her, you have to fight for her, even if she says it's over."

"But she-"

"Listen to me, sometimes you have to swallow your pride and fight for the person until that person changes her mind. As long as there's love, there's hope."

"What if she doesn't love me anymore?"

"Nadine? Please. The woman sacrificed everything for you. Before you she never committed herself to anyone. But with you, for you, she changed. She had changed herself and lifestyle for you. And you wanna know why she did that? She did that because she loves you. And a love like that just doesn't go away," he says sincerely.

"I don't know, Bret," he says, shaking his head.

"What do you mean you don't know? Go and get your woman back, brother."

James lets out a deep sigh. "Thanks, brother. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"That's what I'm here for, bro. Now go and get your girl back."

Do you love Bret here? Ever supportive.