ten | pain keeps you sane

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H I M

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H I M

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b l a c k b e a r

i miss the old u

I miss the old me. I miss the way I used to be. I miss the old me 

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m i s s

notice the loss or absence of.

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     Watching the blonde girl walk away from him, Dipper started to smirk. He shook his head, and took out his phone to call his sister; Mabel. 

     "Heya, bro!" said Mabel, cheerily.

     "I've got her to start liking me," he said, mischief laced in his tone.

     "That's great! So, when she finds the book, just, like, seduce her or make her fall in love with you so she'll trust you or whatever and give you the book," chirped Mabel, excitement dripping from her tone.

     "We can only hope," muttered Dipper, smiling lazily before ending the call. He began to open the group text of Phil and Greg and told them that the Journal hunting would be over for now. While he was texting, he heard light footsteps approach him.

     He looked up to see a familiar mop of blonde hair and light brown eyes. The tall boy was in black pants, black shoes, a black shirt and yellow vest. Memories flashed in his eyes, of him hunched over and the Devil laughing. Closing his eyes, he took a breath.

     "Gleeful," the boy acknowledged, a devilish grin corrupting his face.

     "Cipher," said Dipper, nodding his head towards the boy. 

     "I hope you're going to get the book soon, my patience is thinning," the boy with the black top hat said, his evil grin remaining on his face. His eyes looked catlike, and his light brown eyes seemed yellow for a moment. Black streaks were mixed in his yellow dyed hair.

      "Of course," said Dipper, gritting his teeth.

      "Or else, the nightmares will get worse," said Bill airily, smiling wider. 

      "Where's Will? I thought I made a deal with Will, not you," spat Dipper in disgust. The demon simply grinned, his eyes glowing YELLOW.

      "Well, would you look at the time? I've got to go," the boy had a wild look in his eyes as he began to walk from Dipper.

     That was when Dipper's chest began aching, and his bones seemed to feel like they were being crushed. Dipper's knees buckled as he quickly fell to the floor on his knees. He clenched his jaw, and shut his eyes. The pain began to crawl over his body as he silently groaned. His headache began to grow, his ribs felt like they were being compressed.

      "Oh God," he groaned, anger beginning to bubble in his blood. 

     "Dipper!" an alarmed voice said, and Dipper looked up to see Mabel running to him. Black spots like ink spilled began to fill his vision as he looked at her through half opened eyes. "He's doing this again, isn't he?" she said, fear lighting up her chocolate eyes, she raked her hands through Dipper's sweat filled hair.

      "Do you have the pills?" said Dipper through clenched teeth. He shut his eyes again as the pain shot up through him again. Mabel nodded, and took out two pills from her pocket and gave them to Dipper. "Where the hell is the water?" he snapped. Mabel flinched, and took out a water bottle from her purse.

      "You can go now," he said in an annoyed tone.

      "A thank you would be nice," said Mabel quietly as she took the empty water bottle and walked away from Dipper. The pain began disappearing as Dipper sat, his back hunched and dripping with sweat. He sat in the same position until his breath began to uneven, his breaths coming short, his hair sticking to his forehead. His eyes began wildly looking for anywhere to escape the trees that seemed to close down on him.

     His breathing tightened, his chest closing on him as his eyes flashed everywhere; he felt like he was losing control. Maybe of his own body, or his sanity. It felt like a heart attack, his heart skipping a beat and then thundering dangerously, his breathing quickening.

     He felt like he was dying, but it was the pain that throbbed keeping him sane. He finally calmed down, his breath slowing down. A sob lurched in his throat, his eyes bloodshot red. He took out his phone and called Mabel. It went straight to voicemail.

      "I'm sorry," he choked, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry I'm changing, Mabel. I'm sorry I'm so mean to you, I'm sorry I'm such a fucking disappointment. I'm so sorry, I really am," he said, his throat hurting because of the sob stuck in it. He ended the call and laid on the cool grass.

      The sun went down, and Dipper laid on the same position. He watched it set and the moon come up and the stars appear. The cool air brushed past his now dry forehead. He took a breath and closed his eyes.

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y e l l o w

y e l l o w

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Dedicated to: agentzany

I love my voters, I really do.

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s h e

w a s

m a d e

o f

s u n l i g h t

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