Tainted Love.

I deserve everything.

Johns POV

What was i thinking? What was i trying to get by saying 'No'? Im just nothing but a jerk. I lay down on my bed as i shook my head.

"JOOOOHN!" My mum screamed.

'WHAT?" I screamed back.

"Come here, now!" She screamed back.

I groaned loudly as i threw the blankets off myself. I then stood up and walked to my door. Opening it and wakling downstairs.

"Yes mum?" I asked as i turned into the kitchen.

"I left a shopping list. You need to do my shopping. Im leaving now." She said as she grabbed the coffee mug from the bench.

"Wait, why me. Wheres Len?" I spoke as i let out a frustrated sigh.

"His out." She said as she as clearly annoyed.

"Its okay when he- Never mind. Bye." I said as i jogged back upstairs. I just want to start the shopping now so i dont have to deal with it later on.

I shoved the list into my denim jeans as i shook my head. I feel like a girl. Grocery shopping. Im not a freaking mum. Maybe im being a little sexist, but still. I groaned as i got into the store.

There were 4 items in the list. First item wasBeans. I began walking down the nearest aisle, looking around for the vegetable section. I hadnt been in her for atleast a year. I dont know where anything is. After 5 minutes of walking around like a idiot, i found it. I found a trolley around, looked to see if anyone was using it, and grabbed it. I placed the bag of beans in as i read the next  item.

Detergent. It took me a 10 minutes to find the fucking detergent. I then found it and threw it in the trolley. I then looked back at the list. Frowning. Tampons? Seriously. She wants me to buy her tampons? Oh hell no. What is this? Imagine when i go to the cash register. What would they think? I shut my eyes for a long moment as i stood there for a few minutes. Thinking of what i had to do. I was about to start cursing, before i saw this young grumpy lady looking up at me as she was waiting for me to move.

"Like excuse me." She said grumply.

"Sorry." I muttered.

Gee, calm ya farm. Is it my fault im here and that i have to buy  tampons. Stupid bitch.

I then smashed my funny bone into the trolley.

"FUCK!" I whispered to myself.

I see that that was my punishment from god for calling that lady a bitch.

I then continued on with my journey to find the tampons. I then found it. I then looked around anxiously to make sure no one was around. I then quickly grabbed a pink box. As i was throwing it into the bottom of the cart i heard another trolley rolling towards the aisle

"I know dad..but its hard to explain."

"Darling, Alex.. It wont be hard to explain"

I then straight away knew who it was. I then turned around to see Alexis staring at me in shock. I did nothing but look back at her, in the eyes. I could see her dads eyes dart between us before he quickly pushed their trolley away. She then broke out of our stare and walked past me.

"Alexis, wait!" I said as i grabbed onto her arm.

"Dont touch me." She kissed as she grabbed her arm out of my grip. Hurt flashed in her eyes as i stood there in slight shock. I honestly must say, i wasnt expecting that. I felt pain throughout my body. It wasnt the normal physical pain, it was different. Seeing her face and knowing it was like that because of me hurt. It was killing me alive.

"Just.. let me explain." I whispered softly. As i looked at her pleadingly.

"You dont need to explain anything John. I got everything. I get everything"

"No, but.."

Her eyes dropped to my trolley. She then looked up at me again.

"Tampons?" She laughed. "Wait, is Sarah making you buy some for her?" She fake smiled. "How cute."

"No, its for my mum-" I had began, but my phone started ringing.

Sighing in annoyance i reached for my phone.

Sarah Lawther.

I quickly closed the phone, and shook my head as i shoved my phone back in. I glanced back up, looking over to Alexis. Her eyes were fixed onto where my phone was moments ago.

"Right." She said softly, hurt in her eyes.

"Alexis.. Please-" I tried to speak.

She just turned around and began walking off to her dad. I kept looking as her dad looked down and asked "Who was that?"

I waited desperately for Alexis' answer. "No one." She breathed and with that they walked off.

I had regretted everything i said and did to Alexis. That secret relationship did mean something to me. And yes i do have feelings for her. I have more feelings for  her than i ever had for anyone. And i showed her that she didnt mean anything to me. Not only infront of her, but to the whole school. Why? Because im a jerk that only thinks of himself, and he only care for popularity. Im nothing but a dickhead. I truly think that i am a no one. Not only to Alexis now, but to everyone.

I deserve everything she says to me.