Sunsets and Stars (Alex Standall x Reader)

One: Don't Look At The Stars

"Kevin," I heard Principal Bolan speak as I watched him walk into the room with Mr. Porter. I stood at my locker as I waited for him to speak. He paused for a long moment before speaking once again. "Alex Standall.. Shot himself in the head last night. He's in critical condition at Mercy."

As soon as I heard this come out of his mouth, I broke. I ran towards the bathroom and leaned back against the wall, tears streaming down my face. I covered my mouth with my hands before sliding down the wall, pulling my knees to my chest. Why would he do this?

I sat in the bathroom alone. A few walked in, but no one stopped to ask if I was alright. I sat here for hours, letting the tears flow out of my eyes as if they were waterfalls.

"Y/n?? Is that you?" I heard Justin speak. I didn't answer. I didn't want to be bothered. "I'm coming in. I don't even care." he spoke again. I sighed deeply. Obviously if I didn't answer, I didn't want him to bother me.

"I'm okay Jus.. Just l-leave me be.." I rubbed my tear stained cheeks with my knuckles as Justin sat down beside me.

"You're not okay." He laughs slightly as his eyes stayed glued to me. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Can you uhm.. Can you take me to see Alex?" I questioned. I glanced up at Justin and he was lost in thought. "Jus?" I said in a questionable tone of voice trying to catch his attention.

"Oh yeah." he nodded once he jumped back into reality. "Lets go now." Justin added as he stood up, holding his hand out motioning to help me up. I clenched onto his hand before he pulled me up.

We left school without anyone's permission. I'm usually the good child, but when it comes to Alex I'll do anything. Since Justin doesn't have a car, he had Zach take us. I don't really care for Zach, but I also don't mind his presence.

As we pulled up to the front doors of the hospital I opened the back door so I could get out. "You two can leave.. I want to do this alone..." I informed them. Justin and Zach weren't that fond of Alex anyways. Sure, they hung out at times but Jocks kind of want to be friends with almost everyone.. Sort of.

"Are you sure y/n? You don't need any emotional support?" Justin questioned. I shook my head.

"I'll be okay. Just go. I'll find a way home later..." I trailed off before walking away, heading for the hospital doors. I didn't enter until I knew Justin and Zach were gone. I didn't need them following me.

I asked and got Alex's information from the lady at the desk and I got into the elevator with a few other people. I stood in the middle  as it took me to Alex's floor. I sighed with relief as I got out of the elevator, as no one was touching me anymore.

"May I help you Ma'am?" I heard a random nurse ask in the process of approaching me.

"Uhm yeah actually.. Can you show me to Alex uh... Alex Standall's room?" I responded, looking at her with a confused expression.

"Are you family?" The lady asked. I nodded my head in agreement, obviously lying. "Follow me sweetheart."

I followed the nurse down a long hallway before she opened a door, revealing Alex who was laying in bed. Sadness started to overwhelm my emotions. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I cried too much already.

"I'll leave you two be. Visiting time ends at 8 tonight." The nurse informed me as she patted my shoulder gently. "He put himself into a coma.. He can hear you, but he can't respond." she added before leaving, closing the door behind her.

I take my bag off my back and placed it in the corner of the room before pulling a chair beside Alex's bed. I sat down and held my phone in my hands, which were resting in my lap. I looked at Alex, his head was wrapped in gauze. He was basically dead.

I examined him from head to toe, he was pale as hell. It was very sickening. I slid my phone in between my legs before I decided to grab a hold of Alex's hand. "Why?" I spoke softly as a single tear escaped from my eye. I wanted so bad for him to respond. For him to talk to me. "You lied to me. You told me you were changing schools.. I c-could've... Could have helped you." I broke once again. I couldn't stand seeing him like this.

***

"Excuse me?" I heard a familiar voice say, causing me to wake up. I fluttered my eyes opened, mine and Alex's hand still laced together. I look at the figure ahead of me and I realize him right away. Deputy Standall.

"Oh. Hi." I slowly say, my voice cracking from tiredness. I let go of Alex's hand and sat up in the chair.

"How did you get in?" He questioned before glancing back at the nurse that stood close to the door.

"A nurse let me in." I gulped loudly. "I just needed to see him.."

I watched as Deputy Standall nodded his head slightly. "Alright then. Can I join you?" He questioned instantly. I nodded my head as well, standing up so Alex's dad could sit down. "Stay seated sweet heart. I could stand." he patted my shoulder sweetly as I sat back down.

We both stayed mute as we sat there awkwardly. No one spoke, no one moved. We were both probably waiting for Alex to do something.

"So y/n.." Deputy Standall started to speak. I glance back at him politely. "How long have you been here?"

"Ever since... Noon? I think." I answered before looking at the time on my phone. 7:32 pm. Half an hour until visiting times are over.

"When are your parents coming to get you?" He asked.

Shit. I forgot to call dad. "I'm walking home." I informed him before looking at Alex. I can't believe I forgot to talk to Dad.

"How about I take you home and we could stop and grab some dinner." Deputy Standall suggested. I could feel his stare burning into the side of me.

"I guess so.. But I want to stay here until 8.. I want to spend every last minute with him." I stated, talking about Alex. I couldn't take my eyes off of Alex. And I knew that I did not want say goodbye. I didn't want to leave him.

As 8 o'clock came around, the nurses kicked us out of the room. I walked out of the hospital with Deputy Standall, my bag hanging on my right shoulder. As I stepped out into the unwelcoming, frigid temperature, a shiver slipped down my spine. Goosebumps were scattered along my skin. My eyes instantly went for the sky. The stars were sitting still in the sky, almost as still as Alex. I love the stars. I adore them. But it hurts to looks at them alone, without him. Star gazing used to be one of our nightly things. Just me and Alex. I couldn't look any longer so I let my eyes wander back down to my feet.

"Are you coming y/n? It's getting late." Deputy Standall questioned as he snapped me back into reality.

"Yeah I'm coming," I nodded as I followed him to his police car.

That night once I got home I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about Alex. How he looked. How he lied. How he may never come back. I could've done something. Why didn't I notice his hurt? His pain? His sadness? I stared up at the ceiling deep in thought. Too deep to realize dad talking to me. Too deep to hear the owl and crickets. Too deep to process the fact that I'm falling into a depression.