hey HAWT DAWGS! well, i decided to do a new chapter of, "stuff," because a CERTAIN someone *cough* amanchester29 *cough* keeps forcing me to update...
so... for today's episode of, "stuff," we are going to look at some funny quotes and sadly, most of these i have either said, or has happened to me...
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My friend actually said this to me before. Here's the conversation.
Him: Hi.
Me: Your face is hideous! OH ROASTED!
Him: I'm not a mirror, dumbass.
Me: *Trying to come up with comeback* Exactly... you're NOT a mirror, otherwise if you were, you would look like this bodylicious person. *Wiggles eyebrows*
Him: *Chokes on own saliva*
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It's really sad to say, but... I've been here before. Somedays I'm like, "Mom, are you sure I'm not a child prodigy?"
Other days I spill my mash potatoes over my new sweatshirt because my juice fell into it... then the juice explodes and I drop my lunch... and then I go get paper towels and slip on my lunch... and then someone trips over me and spills their lunch on me...
This is getting depressing.
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Oh my freaking goodness. I cannot tell you how much this has happened to me. I'm in the middle of texting a super long message, with heartfelt emotions, and this happens.
Me: *Still typing* Well, I've needed to tell you this for a long time now. I think that you are an amazing person and have so many attributes that I really like. You're funny and manage to make me laugh in the hardest of times. I just think we match each other and I can tell that you like to hang around me too... not to sound too egotistical, but—— *Cut off by text*
Person: Do you think goats fly?
Me: *Throws phone off building*
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EXACTLY! That's what I've been telling everyone all along!
Annoying friend: You're fat!
Me: Excuse me? Your life is fat! OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A LIFE! OH ROASTED!
Annoying friend: That's your only insult. *Mimicking me* Your face is hideous, OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A FACE! Your house is hideous, OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A HOUSE. You're mom is gross, OH WAIT, YOU DON'T HAVE A MOM!
Me: Actually, chocolate comes from cacao, which comes from a tree. That means it is a plant, technically making chocolate a salad.
Annoying friend: Actually— *Cut off by me*
Me: ACTUALLY, chocolate is also made from milk which is a high source of calcium and helps your bones grow. Wow, we're shooting two birds with one stone!
Annoying friend: But— *Cut off by me again*
Me: Shut up.
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so! hope you enjoyed this episode of, "stuff," and I have either said, or have happened to me these quote thingies.
groovy moovy
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