Chapter Nineteen: My Regret

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It was night. And I was restless, and curious, to the point I was starting to get anxious.

I needed to know about the missing page. Now. I have waited long enough for Caldrons procrastinating ass.

I turn to Caldron, who was buried in my side snoring away, as if nothing was plaguing his thoughts, and all was well.

Complication was a new feeling that has made its way on my life more than once, and now I find myself saddened by my circumstances, as of late.

I can never have children with him. I could never love him in ways i could love the father of my children.

I would never have children.............Ever. Not even when I'm inevitably ready to.

I would not put my children through what Caldron is facing. I wouldn't be able to put my non-existent child through such a horrible thing.

If anyone else was looking in on this situation, they would think that it wasn't that bad.

Fate, is a f*cking psycho. He sent people after my mom to 'scare her,' Because I danced with someone.

Like really dude? Extreme much?

And the Fate gene gets triggered by rejection of any kind, if a small child doesn't understand anything yet, they could think not letting them have a toy as rejection. I couldn't do it. I won't do it.

I wish I had my mom.......she always knew what to do.

I needed fresh air, but if I did that, bad shit would happen and we all know it. I'm not a stupid bimbo who goes off by herself and potentially puts herself in danger.

I have this thing called, common sense, and this particular situation is just........Unleashed have made it on to pack grounds twice now, that I know of, who's to say they aren't out there right now, waiting to make a move?

I sigh and rub my face roughly, and slouching I look to Caldron.

My life wasn't simple enough for me to just, go on a walk whenever i please, so now I have to wake up a bear to go get answers.

Great.

I'd end up in a ditch somewhere for sure if I didnt wake him and take him for protection.

And as much as my feminist side hates it, I as a female, would not be able to take on a larger wolf than my own.

It was how it was, and i couldn't change that. I mean I lost to a twig.

I wanted to go on a walk......so that's what I'm doing. But I'm bringing Caldron and his sleepy ass with me, I try to justify.

But I didn't want to only go on a walk.

I wanted to know what was on that page, I was being eaten alive by curiosity.

"Caldron..." I whisper harshly.

He just groans and snuggles further into me, as I roll my eyes.

I hit my head on the headboard and sigh in annoyance.

"Caldron." I say in a normal voice.

He groans and sits up pulling me down, and into him.

He had both his legs wrapped around me and both arms as well.

Why, was I paired with a cuddler?

I was not about to let my legs go numb again.

I bring my finger to my mouth, and get a giant glob of spit, and give him a wet Willy.

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