Stalker ||fillie||

Chapter 16

"You ok, sis? You're a bit distracted today" said Charlie.

She looked up in a slight panic. Not wanting him to worry about her state of mind right now she knew she had to cover, luckily one of the perks of being an actress is knowing how to fool people, even those closest to you. "I'm bored" she complained, "I haven't got my phone or anything...why can't they at least put a tv in my room?" She wasn't desperate to watch anything, or check things online, but she really did crave the distraction these devices would bring in those few moments she was left alone during the day, maybe she didn't need to act right now after all.

"Millie" Charlie sighed, "you know the police need your phone for evidence...AND" he started, cutting her off before she could reply, "I'm not getting you a new one yet, you don't need all that right now, tv too."

She folded her arms and pouted at him, sticking her bottom lip out like a small child and making him laugh. "Hey" he said, "didn't Sadie bring your laptop? You can at least watch some films on that, right?"

"Ugh, me and Finn have already watched all the films on it...twice...I need something new at least if I have to put up with these medieval conditions" she stated, making Charlie chuckle some more.

"Alright, alright, I'll go home and grab some DVDs for you..."

"Netflix?" said Millie, pointing at the laptop hopefully.

Charlie shook his head no, "no internet" he stated, flatly. Millie furrowed her brow when he left, not understanding how such a state of the art hospital didn't have either tv or internet access in its rooms.

*~~~~~~~~~~*

"Finn?"

"Yeah?"

Millie thought about her words carefully before continuing, "do you think it's weird they won't let either of us use our phones, or watch tv...or go on the internet? I mean, my phone is evidence now, I don't know if I'll ever see it again, but yours? It's just strange, right?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing too...I was kind of thinking maybe we could 'borrow' someone's phone, have some fun, group chat or something. I mean, I'm so fucking bored stuck here..."

Millie mock pouted at that, but Finn panicked at her expression, "oh, no, no, I didn't mean that, I'm not bored of you...I meant..."

Millie cut him off with her laughter. A sound he hadn't heard since the attack, it stunned him into silence and fixed another tiny crack in his heart. There were still so many cracks and pieces scattered far and wide, but they were starting to come together, drawn close and mended by every small victory, forming a heart not unlike the first, subtly different, but still beating just for her.

"What is it?" asked Millie, confused by his reaction.

"Nothing" he answered, but met by Millie's incredulous look he confessed, "I've missed your laugh is all." He was looking down and playing with a loose thread on Millie's blanket when his hand was suddenly grabbed by hers.

"Finn? I need to talk to you about something...something important." He looked up, concerned by the seriousness in her voice. "I don't even know where to start" she said, almost to herself.

"How about at the beginning" Finn said, half-jokingly. When he saw she didn't smile he felt bad, "sorry Millie, whatever it is, just say it, ok? I'll be right here."

"You remember when we argued, before...before..."

"Yes, I remember" he said, cutting her off as she clearly couldn't say the rest of that sentence, "there's not a day goes by where I don't wish I hadn't said all those things, I'd give anything to take them back..."

"It wasn't your fault, it was mine."

Finn noticed that she wouldn't, or couldn't, meet his eye. Shaking his head, he simply said "no."

"Yes" she whispered back, almost unable to speak. Finn opened his mouth to say something, but she gently put her fingers up to his lips to stop him. "I wanted to speak to you that day, and it wasn't about...it...there was something else." Finn waited, unable to think of another reason that would have been that serious and elicited such a response. Millie didn't know how to continue, these emotions had been hidden since the attack, she hadn't had the capacity to deal with it until now, and even now she doubted her ability to do so. But she knew he needed to know, deserved to in fact. Unable to find the words she pulled something out of her pocket and handed it to Finn.

Flashback, the previous day

"Millie?" Sadie asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you about something? Something personal?"

"I guess...is everything ok?"

"I, um, I don't really know how to say this..." Millie started to look worried. "When I went to your trailer, I went into the bathroom to get your things, and I found...this" she said, taking something out of her pocket and passing it to Millie.

Millie's breath hitched in her throat, her eyes starting to tear up almost instantly.

"I'm sorry, I promise I wasn't snooping, it was just lying there, I didn't want someone else to find it, you know?" Sadie said hurriedly, "is it...is it yours?"

Millie just looked at it, the small white plastic stick in her hand, the one with the blue cross on it. She nodded almost imperceptibly, followed by a whispered "yes."

"Does Finn know?"

She shook her head, trying to hold back the tears, "I tried, but he had a go at me about...about the other thing...I got angry and made him leave...it's all my fault..." she trailed off, all her bottled up emotions spilling out.

End

Finn just sat there in silence, looking at the thing in his hands. For Millie, it seemed like an eternity until he spoke again, "that day in the trailer...this is what you needed to tell me" he stated, it wasn't a question but Millie nodded anyway. They sat in silence for another few minutes, both just looking at the test in his hand. Finally, he broke the silence "I'm so sorry, Millie, I fucked things up even more than I thought" he said, wiping his eyes.

It wasn't the reaction she was expecting, but thinking about it she didn't really have a clue what she expected him to say or do. "It doesn't matter now, Finn, we're still here, you and me, and that's all that counts." She raised his head so she could look into his eyes, but they were so full of sorrow it hurt her to see them.

"What do you mean, you and me, what about...that?" he asked, pointing at the test.

"Finn, look at me, look at this" she said, raising her gown, showing the bandages, "come on, there's no way...I...I died at least 5 times for fucks sake, there's no chance...maybe never again" she added, thinking she was speaking quietly enough for Finn to not hear, but he did.

"W...what?" he asked, a look of horror on his face.

"Something the doctor said...they need to examine me more, when these have healed properly" she explained sadly, gesturing to her stomach.

Finn squeezed his eyes tightly shut, then, pulling his hands away from Millie and leaving the test on her bed, turned and walked away. She didn't try to stop him, she couldn't process what he was doing, walking away from her when she needed him most.

"Finn...I need you" she managed to say as he left the room, but it was too late, he was gone.

*~~~~~~~~~~*