Falling Slowly | Luke Hemmings

five

It was now Sunday night, and I have done nothing but sulk all weekend. My weekend pretty much went: get up and eat, go back to bed, and get back up for work. I haven't said a word to my brother all weekend, well I haven't even seen him around. I've seen my parents briefly, only a couple words had been spoken. Tanner had been trying to call me all weekend, but i've denied every single call no matter how bad it actually hurt. I was actually dreading to go to school tomorrow because I knew I would have to come face to face with Tanner.

I had spent the whole weekend battling with my own mind on what I should do about Tanner. Part of me was telliing me to talk to him and figure out why he did what he did, and then the other part of me was telling me to break up with him.

"Just break up with him," I said to myself outloud, laying back on my bed in frustration. I knew it was the best thing to do, but I wouldn't get myself to actually do it in the end.

I knew I just couldn't break up with him, I should at least let him explain why he did what he did. It's going to be hard to find time at school tomorrow, and part of me doesn't want to go anywhere alone with him. I know i shouldn't be actually scared of my boyfriend, which i'm not, I just don't want him to physically hurt me again. I was laying back in bed, my head against the firm pillow, and staring up at the blank ceiling as I heard my phone right on my bedside table. I reached over to see who it was and the name read "Tanner" across the screen. I waited a couple seconds of deciding on whether to answer it, but I decided against it, and tapped the decline button for the hundreth time this weekend.

Once the call ended, a bunch of texts appeared on my home screen.

'Scarlet, please answer my calls.'

'Scarlet I'm so sorry please call me back so we can talk.'

'I need to talk to you.'

'Babe, call me back please.'

I was very tempted to call him back because I just want to hear his voice, and just want everything to go back to normal and how it was before. What the fuck am I saying? I can't call him back and forgive him, I need to wait and talk to him tomorrow.

I sat back on my bed, and thought about all the events that had recently occured this weekend. It seems like it was just last night since I had been with Tanner, and since the fight with my brother. I am still in pure shock about how my mom literally doesn't care that I was out until two in the morning. I had thought about what if she actually knew what happened that night? Would she care? Or would she not even believe me? I would rather not know the answer to any of those questions. The worst part about this is that I now don't have anyone to talk to this about. I can't tell my best friend what Tanner had done to me because you just can't share these types of things, you know?

My mind is filled with differents thoughts on what to do, as my eye lids start to grow heavy. I get myself  in a more comfortable position, as I slowly and anxiously start to drift to sleep. 

-

I woke up surprisingly early the next morning to the sound of my garage door closing. I walked over to my window and opened the curtain just perfectly, so I could see just who was leaving my house. Of coarse it was my mother, leaving for her long and hard day at work. My mother is now currently working as a doctor in the local hospital. She is just getting out of training and is stacking up a bunch of hours. I understand why she isn't home that much, but I just wish she was. My father works as a real-estate agent or something. He is home just as much as my mom really, he comes home in and out of meetings and has to sometimes travel to go to his different types of meetings.

I sighed and walked over to my bathroom to start to get ready for the day. I tried picturing how today will work out, what Tanner will say to me. but I will never know. Will he will break up with me before I get the chance to even talk to him? I doubt he would just end it with me because of all the texts that he has been sending me, but I will just have to wait a couple more hours to see. I was hoping that I wouldn't run into him before school started because then there wouldn't be much time to talk about things. 

I put all my things in my bag, and headed out the door to my car. I didn't know what was going to happen today at school, but I hope everything goes well.