Falling Slowly | Luke Hemmings

twenty

{ Luke's POV }

It was finally getting closer to the end of the week, and I was exhausted. There was just two more days of school left in the week, until I could finally relax. I don't know why I was feeling this way, I usually never feel this tired. I always get my homework done on time, but that's just not how it has been lately. Lately, I've been putting music first. I have always loved music, and it's what I truely love doing. For the past two weeks, I've come home and played my guitar for hours and hours. It was just something I loved to do.

I didn't have any friends that had the same interests as me, which has always sucked. I would love to have someone to talk to about this, and just love to do the same thing I do. I've written a good handful of songs that I haven't yet shared with anyone, and I wasn't planning on it. The songs I wrote would usually have something to do with the situation I'm going through in life, or just a bunch of things that go together. I want to write music, and play music for the rest of my life. I've never actually shared with anyone that this is what I want to do with my life, and that is because I'm scared. I know my mum would be disappointed to hear that I want to go to college for music. She would want me to go do something better with my life, but honestly, nothing can get better than music.

I have two tests tomorrow, so I decided that I should skip messing around with my guitar and actually get some homework and studying done tonight.

"Luke!" I heard my mum yell from downstairs, interrupting me from starting my homework.

"What?" I yelled back, but there was no use. I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me from upstairs, so I just decided to go downstairs and see what she wanted.

I walk out of my room and down the stairs that reached the living room/kitchen area, where I was assuming my mum would be.

"What is it?" I asked as soon as I saw her in the kitchen. She was with her boyfriend Craig, or now I have to say new fiancé. They got engaged over the summer, and I guess I'm happy for them. I did like him, I just still can't picture my parents with anyone else but each other. Her and Craig were preparing dinner, so I already knew that she was going to tell me that dinner was ready.

"Dinner is ready." She said, looking at me then back towards all the food spread out on the counter.

"I'm not hungry." I say, walking right past my mum and Craig. I started rummaging through the cabnits until I found a cup to pour myself some water. I quickly pour some water into a glass, and begin to walk right out of the room.

"Luke, this isn't healthy." She said back, almost sounding as if she were getting angry with me. I already knew what she meant by this. She meant that it's not healthy for me to avoiding eating, which I happened to do a lot.

"I know mum." I sighed, starting to walk away from her again.

"No, it doesn't look like you do Luke," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yes i do, I know not eating isn't healthy, I'm just really not hungry."

"You always say that," my mum said, rolling her eyes at me. I look over at Craig to see that he is starting to walk out of the room to give my mum and I some space. I was glad he did, because I would really prefer is he didn't listen in on this conversation. This happens a lot, we would fight over what was going on in my life. She doesn't know how sad I actually am inside, and probably never will. She knew I was depressed, but she doesn't think it's as bad as it actually is. Lately, I've been feeling much better, and actually happy. Even though I'm happy outside of my house, my whole mood changes when I enter my house.

"But I can't help it!" I groan, not wanting to talk about this with her anymore. I walked right out of the kitchen, and back up the stairs to my room. She didn't understand, and I don't think she ever will. She doesn't know what it's like to be sad, because all she does is take care of herself to make herself happy. She doesn't understand what it's like to loose a parent at such a young age. She doesn't understand any of it.

I hate talking to her about my father because she honestly just didn't care. She knew how sad i was, but did she care? No, or at least she didn't show it. I was getting tired of telling me not to be sad, because I can't help it.

Ever since my dad had passed, things have been so much different for me. It's hard to be here knowing that he isn't. I felt he was one of the people that cared most about me, and now he's gone. It's been a while since he passed, but I'm still not over it. Ever since then, I haven't had much of an appitite. I guess that's just a side effect of being depressed. When I was in the hospital with my father, he told me to think of all the happy times that we spent together, and not the sad ones. And that's what I do. Whenever I'm in this situation, I think about how safe my father is now, and how we had so many amazing memories together. I'm so thankful I got to spend 17 years of my life with him.

"Luke, come back!" My mum shouts, starting to walk after me. I didn't like how she would always do this to me, I hated it.

I finally got to my room, slamming the door freely behind me. I didn't care if it was loud or not, I was angry. I hated this feeling, but I was almost used to it. I sit back down at my desk, getting out all of my papers to finish the rest of my homework.

I place my head in the palms of my hands, and let the tears flow freely down my face. I hated myself for doing this. I hated crying, it made me feel weak. Maybe I am. When I moved back here, I wasn't myself. I was a jerk to everyone, even Scarlet.

Ever since I've been getting closer to her, I've been feeling better. When I'm with her everything bad goes away, I know that's what everyone says, but it's true. She makes me happy, so so happy. This is just like the first time I met her. When I saw her, I fell for her, hard. And now, I was falling for her all over again. I knew I was and there was no denying it.

I was happy when I was with her the other night, more than happy. I forgot everything that was actually going on in my life, and I couldn't thank her more for making me feel that way.

Man, I really did miss her having her in my life.

A/N: sorry this is a filler but Luke :( but yay now we know that Luke and Scarlet are starting to like each other again! but remember that they have been together before and that's why it was so easy for them to fall for each other again!!

& the other boys will be in the story soon so that's coming up :-)