Cage My Heart (Ayakane)

sorry for doing bad things to you (chapter 14)

ayato POV

Did I hear that right? I stare up at kaneki as he blankly stares the other way. "W-what? Leave? You wanna leave?! I don't want you to leave o-of co-ours y-you sh-shouldnt l-leave me!!!"
Dammit I was full on sobbing I couldn't say one word without stuttering.

He quickly cradles me in his arms once again rocking me back and forth.
"No baby, of course I don't wanna leave you... Its just that I can stand hurti-" I cut him off as I abruptly stand up, pushing him off me, yelling "shut up, shut up!! I don't wanna hear your bullshit excuse!! I know you wanna leave me! You think I'm weak and your so annoyed that I'm a weak little shit who need's his boyfriend there all the time!!? Is that it!!!? Than leave I don't care!!" I was crying while pushing kaneki to the door,
"ayato please that's not it!" He says as he tries to hold me.
It hurts my heart to push his hugs away. I finally push him out the door, and I slide down the door with my forehead against it, I can hear kaneki yelling and banging on the door. "Go away!!" I yelled, finally the knocking stopped and I heard footsteps and light sobs slowly fade away. He's gone. I start crying harder, as I clench my fists. I slowly stand up and make my way to the kitchen and open the fridge slowly, and pull out a bottle of whiskey. I chug that shit like mountain dew. I walked to the living room and sit on the floor still with a bottle of whiskey.
"This is underaged drinking...but there's no one here left to give a fuck about me....g-great.." I start crying while drinking. This is an even worse habit than kanekis weed habit. But he's gone so why should I care, he never cared about me.

Third POV

Soon enough ayato was very drunk he couldn't think straight, he had forgotten all about kaneki. For now. Ayato slurred his words as he cursed nonsense to himself. He made an attempt to stand up but ended up falling backwards, he cursed allowed as he started uncontrollably laughing. "I d-dont ev-ven r-em-ber *hic* wh-what th- w-wait what *hic* t-the f-uck w-was I t-talk-talking a-abput!!~" he shouted nonsense to himself as he stayed silent, as if expecting some one to answer, of course there was no answer.

Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door.
"Ayato open this fucking door!"
Kaneki.
Ayato gasped lightly while still smiling like an idiot. He crawled over the window to flip kaneki off. He stuck the finger at kaneki while swaying a bit trying to stay balanced. Kaneki made a 'wtf' face at ayato, as he walked over to the window. He started talking again. "Ayato open the door im not fucking around!!" Ayato just put a cheeky smile on as he accidentally banged his head on the window from swaying too much, ayato than slurred the words "i-im n-ot *hic* f-fuck-ing a-around *hic* e-ith-either!" He tried to stay straight but it was impossible at the moment. Kaneki stared at ayato for a moment, than he slammed his fist into the window cracking it only a little, which caused ayato to jump back and fall over in surprise. Kaneki yelled "ARE YOU FUCKING DRUNK?!!!" Ayato stared at the furious kaneki for a while. ".....n-no.?" Ayato said. Kaneki just left the window and went back to the and started pounding it. "Im gonna brake down this fucking door!!" He yelled as he kicked the door. Finally the door came crashing down.
"H-hey b-udd-buddy y-you-*hic*-your g-gonna be p-pay-ing for t-hat -door.." Ayato said trying to stay calm. But he was freaking the fuck out at his boyfriends mad behavior. Kaneki stomped over to ayato and grabbed his wrist pulling him up harshly. "What the hell were you thinking!!?" Kaneki yelled as he stared at ayato.
Ayato grinned.
"I w-wasnt" his cheeky reply only made kaneki even more angry than he already was.
"Are you kidding me ayato!? I was gone for-what!? Four hours?!! And your fucking hammered!! This is why I need to watch you all the time! Goddammit!"
Ayato stiffened as he stared at kaneki with a smirk. Kaneki just groans and grabs his other wrist violently throwing him on the couch, and than pinning him to it. "Would touka want you to do this? All she ever wanted for you was to live a good, happy safe life...she did everything to make sure you both fit in, I understand she left you...but who's fault do you think that's is? Its yours ayato. Dammit...I should've stayed away from you...I should've stayed with touka, maybe we could've been together. Me and her could've been happy...at least she would know how to take care of herself.... But you stole my heart! And I love you so much I lose control!!.." Ayato lays there with a shocked expression.
"I-its not my fucking fault...I love you kaneki..but....maybe it wasn't meant to be..clearly. I'm so tired, of all the problems you've been causing me. And I've been putting up with it because I love you, but it seems you don't feel the same way, I'm judging by what you said a few moments ago..." Kaneki just squeezed ayatos wrists tighter while continuing to cry. Ayato also sobs uncontrollable. "B-but I do fucking love you ayato! I'm here but your pushing me away! Can't you see that I just want nothing else but to have you with me forever! I need you in my life! But your fucking driving me insane!! Everything you say and do drives me insane! Your so fucking hypnotic and intoxicating to me!! I'm addicted to you, your my favorite drug and I can't live without you! I'm hypnotized by the way you move...the way you look..your voice, your eyes, your soft peachy lips, and the way you move your body, it gets me stuck on you, ayato you consume me...your my purpose of living. Your mind has me confused, but addicted to the feeling of being aroused by everything you do. Ayato can't you see, you do so much bad things to me...but you keep on playing mind games on me...I'd kill myself for you.!" Kaneki sits up on ayato and grabs his face, as ayato has tears going down his face. "Can't you see how much I fucking love you!?" He looks ayato in the eyes as he holds his face between his hands, ayato just Cry's even more "ayato?! Fucking answer me!!" Kaneki shakes ayatos head around a bit, ayato then pushes kanekis hands from his face "s-shut the fuck up asshole!...don't touch me!!" Ayato trys to crawl away but kaneki grabs his leg and drags him back, pining his hands above his head with only one hand while using the other hand to force ayato to look at him, as ayato sobs while trying to look away. Ayato finally than got one of his hands free, he throws a punch hitting kaneki in the face making him fall backwards griping his face, he then glares at ayato with a busted lip. "You stupid cunt! Get over here!" He starts chasing ayato as ayato runs around the room, grabbing objects and trowing them at kaneki a few times missing but a few hitting. Kaneki grabs ayato by the arm and slams him into the wall as kaneki pins him there, ayato screaming while crying. "Why can't you just fucking love me!! I love you! So tell me why?!?" Ayato just tries to get away, kaneki slams his fist beside ayatos head braking the wall "tell me!!!".
Suddenly a scream came from the door way. " stop!!" Both ayato and kaneki looked towards the door. Hinami. Yomo. Yomo came over and put his hand on kanekis shoulder. "That's enough." Kaneki just shoved his hand away and walked over to the other side of the room, ayato slides down the wall crying while holding his hands to his face. Yomo walks over to kaneki to try and calm him down.
Hinami walks to ayato and hugs him, ayato just ignores her.

"Kaneki, what were you thinking?" Kaneki just says "fuck off renji! I don't wanna hear your bullshit!" Kaneki tries to walk back to ayato but yomo holds him back. "I don't think he wants  you right now." Kaneki struggles harder "get the fuck out of my way! I should've fucking knocked him out!!" Yomo grabs kaneki by the shirt and slams him against the wall "listen! Look at him!! What do you think your Doing to him? Your hurting him! Look how hurt he his. You scare him, with how rough you are. Your love towards him his to rough. He needs gentle love, ken." Kaneki looks sad and regretful as he stares at ayato. Yomo puts him down and slaps the back of his head "now go to him, stop being so mean to the one you love, just try being gentle...for his sake."
Kaneki walks over to ayato, as hinami walks back to yomo, kaneki wraps his arms around ayato, ayato tries to leave but kaneki holds him tightly.
"...please don't leave...I'm sorry for how I am towards you...I'll try to be gentle..just..please don't push me away..." Aytao sighs, and cuddles closer "I'll stay...can we go to bed now..." Kaneki picks ayato up and starts walking up stairs, while hinami and yomo leave.

Kaneki and ayato lie down on the bed just staring at each other, kaneki gently rests his hand on ayatos cheek, ayato closes his eyes and moves closer to kaneki, kaneki hugs him and kisses his head.
"Sorry for doing bad things to you..."