"Heeyyy I don't want to be addressing you as "Cole Danner's brother" because brrr he's such a jerk okay but so are you and I don't want to call you like uhm "Jackass" you know I mean hello a name wouldn't hurt--"
"What the hell did you just call me?"
"A name wouldn't hurt."
"No, dammit."
"Then answer this question then."
"...."
"No protests? Keeewl."
"Are you fcking done? I'm hanging up--"
"Wait!"
"So what's the real deal with you and your twin really?"
"We're both sht."
"Dang. Can't argue with that."
"Fck off."
"Pssh whatever ol'man. Spill it."
"...."
"...."
"He sings and plays songs on public."
"And?"
"I write them."
"Do you play them too?"
"What the fck do you think?"
"I don't know you asshole oh my gosh that's why I'm asking!"
"The answer's maybe, chick."
"Does he plagiarize?"
"Funny how you can piece things together up quite quickly but you can't when it comes to people. Or meeting one."
"Yeah yeah I'm allergic to people I'm not close with them they're not my precious books whatever okay sooo and?"
"And? What do you mean by fcking and?"
"You don't care."
"Fck if I do. 'Course not."
"Hmm do people mistaken you as him, though?"
"That's the shittiest thing."
"You're saying yes."
"You don't have to fcking say the word, smart mouth."
"Ohhh. So that's what piss you off?"
"You piss me off."
"Okay, grand. Aside from me."
"Everything piss the hell out of me. Some motherfckers approach me for him and it's fcking annoying. Tell them to go to him right fcking away the next time they do that."
"Aye aye, captain."
"That's not even funny."
"Ooooh that's why your brother's dog laughs at me? Figured."
"You're shtting me."
"And you're not fcking spongebob for goodness' sake."
"...."
"I wish I can see you..."
"...."
"...."
"You can."
"...to punch your face. Just once. Ha!"
end call.
YOU ARE READING
wrong number
HumorZoey was about to check her book transaction on this certain online bookstore website when she dialed the wrong number and wrong person at the same time. { short story - epistolary - written in english }
