Forsaken

Making things right... Kinda

I pulled up outside the front of my house and looked at the figure sat on my doorstep. Hunched over with their phone in their hand and head down, I debated whether to carry on driving when my phone pinged.

I just want to talk. A x

I looked up at the doorstep to see Aaron waiting for me. I typed back to him.

You made it perfectly clear when you offered me an Uber. I've had a hard day already, I don't need you making it worse.

I hit send and waited as the message transferred. I looked towards Aaron who looked back at his phone, his fingers working across the screen quickly in response.

Luna please, I'll sit here all night if I have to. Just let me explain & if you still want me gone, then I'll go. Xx

I growled to myself for being weak, but I wanted to hear what he had to say, so I unlocked the car door and got out. Walking over to the steps, I ignored him and opened the front door.

"Inside." I spoke making him get up and follow me indoors.

Walking into the lounge, I kicked off my shoes and tossed my bag on the chair placing my hands on my hips ready.

"Where've you been?" He asked making me lift a brow. "Okay. Okay I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said, well, not all of it."

I lifted the other brow now at his half attempt of an apology.

"What I'm saying is... Well. What I'm saying is that I do care, I care a lot. Like loads but I can't love. You're an incredible woman, god everything you do makes me wanna squeeze you. Ya know?" He asked but I remained quiet.

"Maybe not then... But what I mean is that I do really like you, I care for you-"

"But you can never love me."

"No, no I can't love.. Anyone. There is nothing wrong with you. You? You're perfect in every shape and way."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because everything I love turns to dust, I've never had luck in love, every woman I love leaves me. And I don't want you to leave." He admitted. His face reminded me of a small child looking for some reassurance.

"But you treated me like that and I went anyway." I pointed out.

"I know," he nodded "But I kind of protected my heart in the process. Or I thought I did."

I sighed "Aaron just spit it out."

"I really fucking like you Luna! Really like you and I can't say the other word because it's almost a damn curse! And I know you L- me! But you can also fall out of L- with me and that's what scares me. I'm a 40 year old paranormal investigator, I paint and play with toys. You need someone like Alec who looks out for you, is that where you've been? With him? I get it if you have. I'm no catch! I'm an idiot!" He rambled.

I nodded "You are an idiot. A ridiculously tall, gentle, handsome caring idiot. You're my idiot Aaron. And yes I was with Alec, at work. He also stayed last night in the spare bedroom."

He nodded looking at me.

"And he also laid on my bed at 4am this morning because I can't stop crying because of you! You really hurt me Aaron!"

His head lowered to the floor. "I am really sorry.."

"I wanted you. I want you! What is so bad about trusting other people? What do you think I'm gonna do? Steal your money? I don't want anything from you apart from time! Attention and maybe a kiss and cuddle from time to time dammit!"

"I-"

"So you can't love me?  But am I really that unloveable?" I asked.

"No, it's because you're too loveable. And it makes me so mad when I see you cry. Fuck Luna." He grunted falling on the couch holding his head.

"Why can't we work this out? I want you, you want me? I don't understand why you're pushing me away, you're not evil or this curse Aaron. You're you, and you've hit a shit patch at dating. Maybe because you used to watch Zak go from woman to woman before Maria? I don't know. But I'm here, I wanna be your Maria for crying out loud!"

He shook his head "You can't be my Maria because I want you to be my Luna."

"I'm right here. And sure things won't be easy, we'll argue and fight but that's what couples do?" I reminded him.

"I know but you deserve someone like Ale-"

"I WANT YOU! YOU GIANT BAFOON!" I yelled at him in annoyance.

"Today I sat in a meeting having every moment Mark attacked me spoken about, with a plain clothes officers Alec who's not HR but the company director and a woman from HR. He's been removed from his job, Mark I mean. But he also assaulted an officer so I guess he's in more trouble. And I couldn't help but think the whole time I was there, that it was you who got me there? You who told Andy and got the ball rolling, you have been protecting me this whole time Aaron, you care and I'd say go as far as love. And maybe I said it too early? But why waste time fighting the inevitable? Haven't we done that enough?"

Aaron nodded "But you deserve more."

"And I disagree, I want you. I need you Aaron, I need the man that's always got some paint on his hands and the odd speck on his nose." I spoke seeing a little blue smudge. "I need a man who's hyper and funny, who plays with toys and has a massive collection of player cards, who has a lightsabers staircase and who can watch old films like Jason and the Golden Fleece. You don't know how much I loved that day. Just us, nobody else, no outside world. Just me and you. I need someone who's gonna show me the world and then more. I'm not gonna stand here and beg and plead for your attention. I just want you to know, that I'm madly in love with you. So accept that."

"I wanna be with you Lu, I do. But I don't know how to if you expect me to love? I don't think I can." He replied rubbing his head.

"You try. You care about me don't you?"

"Yes."

"How much?"

He looked up at me slowly "Enough to know I've hated myself ever since you've left, I haven't slept. I've been feeling sick ever since you walked out and I know you only left because I was a massive jerk. I want you to be happy, but I would hate to see you with another man. And to know I made you cry all night...." He shook his head.

We fell silent for a while, "So what now?" I asked.

"Forgive me? I wanna work on this, on us. If you'll let me?"

I sighed sitting down beside him "And you really want that? We're not gonna be here in 2 days time doing this all over again?" I asked.

"I don't wanna be. No."

"Then I want to make this work too. Everyone needs to feel loved but until you are ready.... I like you lots."

He smiled "I like you lots too."