Calm & Calamity | A DaveKat, DirkJake, and RoseMary fanfic

Chapter 4: Day Who Even Knows at Burb High; Dave

Ohhhhhh, shit. its karkat. who even knew that he was here?! Oh my god im trying not to flip out here, but holy fuck hes adorable. Whoo. deep breaths. youre a strider. striders dont flip out. 

"I will show you around everywhere from today always." I blurted. 

"AS IF I'D WANT HELP FROM YOU ASSHOLE." Karkat shouted back. 

Oh my god ohmygod. hes so fucking cute. even when hes shouting. especially when he's shouting.

"Whatever. I'm going to class." Karkat said as he turned on his heel and walked out of the gym. 

Ugggggggh. First Period. Apparently we have a new teacher today, but still. Uggggggh. 

I walked into the classroom about 10 minutes late. I must have lost time at my locker, thinking. I can't believe that KitKat is here! I'm so happy I could burst! 

"Mr. Strider, I do not take tardiness kindly in my classroom. Please have a seat, and make sure to be on time in the future." Our new teacher said. He had a strange resemblance to KitKat, except for the white eyes. Creepy. 

"Oh, shut the fuck up Kankri. I was late but you didn't do anything to me! Why is Shades McDouchemuffin any different?" 

"Karkat, I would watch you language if I were you. I find it very triggering, and I have the authority to give you detention. Then you wouldn't have a ride home because I would not wait for you." Mr. Vantas, apparently, said. 

Score! I have a class with Karkat!

"Screw you! I could just get a ride from someone else." 

"Are you saying you have made friends? Fabulous!" Mr. Vantas jumped up and down a little and clapped his hands like a fangirl at a One Direction Concert. 

"N-No, I don't have friends. But who gives a fuck?! Not me. Why do you want me to have friends anyways? They'll only drag me down." Karks yelled with a hint of blush on his cheeks.

I take a seat in the only empty chair, which is next to Karkat. 

"I don't know, I'd say that I was his friend." I jumped in. "I'm Dave Strider, I've talked to KitKat here over Pesterchum." 

"Ah, yes Mr. Strider. Karkat doesn't seem to stop talking about you at home. Thank you." 

Okay, now I was wierded out. First he was scolding me for being late, and now he's thanking me? And Karkles told him about me? Damn, this is waaay to much shit to take in one day.

"Kankri! You just said that in front of everybody! STFU!" KitKat shouted, his blush becoming even worse.

"Alright, I need to start my class, but we will continue this conversation later. Mr. Strider, come see me after class." Mr. Vantas said, looking directly at me. At least, I think he did. I couldn't tell, with those weird eyes. 

~~WOOOO SPOOKY TIMESKIP TO AFTER CLASS (no one except for Rose cares about becoming a therapist)~~

"Ah, Mr. Strider, thank you for talking to me. I would like to thank you ever so dearly for making friends with Karkat. He's such an angry boy, and quite tightlipped. When he told me that he started talking to you, I've felt safer. Our parents died when he was small, and I've taken care of him since I was 10 years old and he was 8. Yes, we're only 2 years apart, but I got my bachelor's degree in many things at the age of 13. I think that we've found a good place here, and will be staying for a while. So, I would like to invite you to have dinner with Karkat and I tomorrow. I start making dinner when I get home, around 5 ish. Might you accompany us? We'll me having grilled burgers tomorrow. Veggie burgers for me, and meat for Karkat. As you can see, I am a vegetarian. Are you? No, I assumed as much." Mr. Vantas paused, awaiting my answer. 

"Uhh...Sure, I guess. I'll have to talk to Bro about it, but he'll probly say yeah. See ya then, Mr. Vantas?" I was unsure what to say after that whole speil. 

"Great! I'll be sure to get some extra ground beef at the store. See you in class tomorrow!" 

I'm mentally freaking out now. First, I got to go to KitKat's house! Second, For dinner no less! Third, oh my fucking god I'm going to Karkat's house! 

"Oh, and Mr. Strider?" He stopped me before I was out the door. "Call me Kankri. And I wish you well on your journey of winning my Karkat over. Farewell!" 

Uhhhhh...Okay? Wait. Shiiiiit. He knows! oh well. just as long as he doesn't tell KitKat...

~~ WOOOOO SPOOPY TIMESKIP NUMBER TWO: LUNCH!~~ 

KARKAT'S POV

I sat down at an empty table and pulled out my lunch that Kankri made me. He may be annoying, but HoLY SHit can he cook. Yess! Ramen! I pulled my chopsticks out of my lunch box and dug in. As I was slurping up my ramen, (chicken, BEST FUCKING FLAVOR!) I saw out of the corner of my eye someone plopped down in one of the empty chairs at my table with a school lunch. Oh, great. Dave McDoucheyShades. 

"hey KitKat, what's up?" He said poking my face. 

"Fuck off. Let me eat my Ramen in peace." I replied, my face still next to the container that i was eating from. 

"Don't you mean slurp super loud and get soup juices all over this one and the next table over? What are you even eating with? It looks like you're from one of my Bro's shitty animes." He poked my cheek again and grinned. 

Don't you have a girlfriend to sit with?" I assumed he did, since girls were always crowded around him. 

"Nope. I'm BI, but the only one I want is you." He poked me yet again with his grin growing even wider. 

I growled at him, but I was blushing at the same time. W-What does he mean, he only wants me? He d-doesn't like me, like me, does he? 

"S-So? I Hate you, so fuck off..." I trailed off, noticing that he was staring at me so intently, butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. Grrrrr...He just annoys me so fucking much!

"Greetings, Karkat. How Was Your Morning?" Kanaya said as she walked over with the other new kid... Rose, I think.

"Hello. I'm Rose Lalonde; I moved here from Wichita, Kansas." The other girl sat down as well. 

"Well, Ms. Lalonde, welcome to Burb High, Cincinnati, Ohio." Mr. Doucheyshades said in his most flirtatious voice, wiggling his eyebrows. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt a pang of jealousy. STOP IT, HEART. DAVE'S AN ASS. 

"I am sorry Mr. Strider, but your flirting will not win me over. Kanaya here has shared her feelings with me, and though we just met earlier, the feelings are mutual. She is now my girlfriend." Rose blatantly rejected him! Ohhhh! Burn! 

"Aw, c'mon Rose, I was just jokin' with ya. We're cousins anyways, so I can't date ya. Bro would flip his shit.But I'm happy for you! Good job! You found yourself a keeper. B)" Wait, cousins? He was joking? Gog, fuck you Strider. 

"And I Seem To Remember, Karkat, That We Are Cousins As Well." Kanaya added

"YUP. HOW'S PORRIM DOING?" I actually smiled, a small one though. 

"Ugh. I... I Don't Even Know What To Do With Her Anymore. She Acts Like A Child In An Eighteen-Year-Old's Body And Mind." Kanaya replied, putting her head into her hands and sighing. 

"SHE STILL SLEEPING AROUND?" I chuckled. 

"Please Can We Not Talk About That? Porrim Is A Handful As Is. And Since We Live On Our Own Now, I've Had To Take Care Of her, Night And Day." Sensing that Kanaya was fed up, I dropped the subject. 

"Wow. I had no idea about your home life, but daaaamn. And yet you still have the best grades at Burb." Dave said whistling in awe.