Fueled by a desire to become a teacher, Loren Mayshark entered Hunter College in 2008, with the intention of gaining a master's degree in two years. Six years and tens of thousands of dollars later, he abandoned his studies without attaining the deg...
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The night before the test I writhed around in bed, riddled with a mix of fear, anticipation, and uncertainty. I was still battling with insomnia. I had to catch a ride to the Bridgeport, Connecticut, station to get the 7 a.m. train, which meant getting up at 5 a.m. for the test, which started at 10. One by one I swallowed the last few pills in a bottle of a natural sleep aid because I couldn't sleep. I popped one before bed, but I just wrestled around in anticipation, so I would get up and pop another. Eventually, at 4 in the morning, I gave this practice up and just tried breathing exercises. I fell asleep just before my alarm went off. I tried to nod off on the train in between looking at some study sheets I had made.
When I got to Hunter I was exhausted and felt terrible about the situation. I studied for a while in the lobby, and just before the test I bought a large coffee (I am very sensitive to caffeine) and sat down. Once the buzz kicked in, I flew through the test, writing down everything I could think of as fast as it came to me. The test consisted of three essay questions, each lasting one hour. Here is one of the questions: "Consider the role of Mexican-origin workers in the economic development of the Southwest. Why did Mexican-origin labor prove so pivotal to the growth and expansion of Southwestern industries and economies?"
I had to weigh the arguments of scholars against each other and provide an answer that demonstrated I was proficient in the historical data necessary. When I finished the test I was simply thrilled to have it over with, but I had a surprisingly good feeling that I had done better than I had expected, despite the challenges. I spent the night celebrating, and then I returned home and went to work on my fifteen-page thesis proposal, which he had requested by April 25. He would address the thesis proposal when I went to New York to go over the test with him.
Caraja was the primary reader of my test, and mine was the only test he ever administered at Hunter. Everyone else in the room was taking US or European MA history exams or the social studies certification exam, which was apparently easier. He would read my exam and then pass it on to a second reader who would give input, but he would have the final say: pass or fail. I anticipated the answer for a month, trying to wipe it out of my mind, but it was always hovering over me. Finally, I was informed in an email from Professor Rosencrass that I had failed and would have to retake the test.
I was disappointed, but I figured that it was a realistic possibility that I would fail with such a short time to prepare. Having read nearly all of the books, I felt that the experience would give me a solid base to build from as I prepared to retake the test on September 24, 2011. Moreover, the books would give me a sound basis for the historiography section in my thesis and had given me a broad foundation of knowledge to guide my thesis. Although I was worn out and a little disheartened, after a short break I immersed myself in research for my thesis and began preparing my proposal. I sent him the full proposal on April 25. He told me that we would discuss it at our meeting in early May.
Meanwhile, I had to get permission to register for the one-credit class that I need to keep my matriculation and to retake the exam; because they dragged their feet for so long in telling me I failed, I had to pay an additional late fee. It was a simple registration of a one-credit course, which should have taken five minutes. It dragged on for months, causing me to spend valuable hours away from my studies writing emails, calling the registrar, contacting the history department, and so on. It put undue stress on me, which made me angry. When dealing with these inane tasks and the unfriendly people at Hunter, all of the frustration had the ultimate effect of sapping my motivation. When I finally had the opportunity to pay the tuition for the one-credit class to maintain my matriculation, it was $215, but then they fee you to death. The total after fees was $317.85, plus an additional fee of 2.65 percent for using a credit card.
