Fueled by a desire to become a teacher, Loren Mayshark entered Hunter College in 2008, with the intention of gaining a master's degree in two years. Six years and tens of thousands of dollars later, he abandoned his studies without attaining the deg...
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I found myself unemployed and, because of post-op complications, almost completely debilitated for more than a week. Moreover, I was in a Miami J neck brace twenty-four hours a day for the next four months. In spite of this, I strove to keep up with my coursework, even though I was offered an incomplete by both professors. I refused, assuring them I could finish. I spent hours propped up at my computer, wearing the neck brace, working to complete a lengthy paper, only stopping when the pain became unbearable. I only missed each class twice, and handed in all of my work on time. I earned a B+ and A- in the classes, respectively.
However, I was once again denied matriculation. The only stated reason I could find was because of low GRE scores. I found this maddening, since I had already demonstrated that I could do an above-average job in my coursework. As a consequence of my denial of entrance, I was ineligible to take the independent study; also, I could not sign up for two more classes I was eyeing in the fall. I was only allowed to reapply for the program in the spring semester. I had been denied for the fall semester of 2009, which meant that I couldn't take any summer classes, including the aforementioned independent study. Bottom line: since I was maxed out on nonmatriculated classes I could not resume taking classes until the spring semester of 2010. I met with the chair of the history department, Professor Belview, about my problem with getting into the MA history program. I wasn't sure he had the capacity to find humor in anything. I was very nervous while speaking to him, feeling that I would make a grave error every time I thought of opening my mouth. The tension grew by the minute.
"I don't think that GRE scores should be the only determining factor with regards to acceptance into this institution after an individual has proven that he can do the work," I said.
He stared out his window at the high-rises and then fixed his gaze on me, which made me uncomfortable.
I nervously continued: "I have already paid for three classes in which I have a cumulative average of a B-plus." I asked him if I could possibly take some independent studies that could count toward my degree and if he could allow me to take one more class while I was waiting for their decision. He said something dismissive, along the lines of "I understand your concern."
When I asked him why the history department only allowed graduate students three classes, and why they were frozen out and not allowed to take more classes until accepted, he told me that this was the way it was designed. Feeling desperate, I started to wonder aloud why it was set up this way, but he authoritatively cut me short. He told me that this was the policy and he could not change it to suit my individual needs. When he finished talking it became uncomfortably obvious that it was time for me to leave. But I wasn't ready to depart, and I sat there thinking.
The policy strictly limited nonmatriculated students to three classes, but there must be some other way, I thought. The whole thing seemed painfully arbitrary. He mouthed something inaudible to himself, as if I wasn't there. Then he launched into his spiel about qualifications and how he didn't know how things worked until they reached his level. Essentially, he said that he couldn't help me get in any sooner. He told me to just apply again, and I should be able to make it. This was a constant theme: keep trying, keep paying, and somehow everything will eventually work out. I would have to wait to take more classes, with no guarantee that I would ever be accepted, much less be able to finish the degree.
My grand scheme to zip into Hunter and finish thirty credit hours in less than two years had vanished, leaving me in a neck brace and scrambling to rearrange my entire life. This ushered in a very dark period in which I often felt worthless. I took a Spanish class at the Brecht Forum and writing classes at the New York Writers Workshop and the Gotham Writers Workshop to hone the skills necessary to complete the degree. I applied to Hunter a fourth time (counting my initial application), and was finally accepted into the program. Since I was not eligible to take classes for the fall semester of 2009 I was charged an additional $125 to apply. The fact that I was being forced to pay the application fee twice to a program that I was accepted in as a nonmatriculated student seemed absurd. I started to feel indignant, so I wrote a letter in protest, but the reply came that it was "Hunter policy" and the fee would not be waived. It cost me a total of $250 just to get into the program. But at least I was in. I was convinced that my luck was shifting and the next semester would be a great one.
