i miss you ;; joshler

Part 10

tyler
As we made our way up to my room my heart was racing. Josh dun, the boy I've had a crush on for so long is in my room.

Josh say down softly on my bed, reluctant to crease the fresh sheets.

"Soooo" I say dragging out the 'o'.
"What's that?" Josh points at my black notebook. That small mass of paper held every secret, every song, every poem I had ever written about the admirable pink haired boy that sat on my bed.
"Oh it's just um it's just my planner?" I say like a question, knowing I hadn't fooled him.
"Riiiight" josh says dragging out the 'i'. A suspicious look on his face. It took me a few seconds to realise what he was up to but when I finally realised my eyes widened and I yelled
"no!"
But, like always, I was too slow and josh had already grabbed the book from my desk.

He opened up the book, turned to a random page and began reading from it.
"Things that fall:
Petals
Teardrops
Snowflakes
Rain
Stars
Tides
Eyelids
Time
Shadows
Leaves
The sun
And I,
For you."
I stood there, in utter embarrassment. He for sure knows this is about him.
"Well, whoever this is about is probably the luckiest guy ever" josh says. Something appeared in his eyes whether it had been loss of hope or disappointment, all I knew was that it was sad.

"Josh, can I tell you something?"
"Of course you can ty"
"I'm not sure you feel the same about me, and I totally respect you if you don't, but I think I'm falling for you and I don't know if I should be but I am and I can't do anything to stop it."
Josh just sat there staring into my eyes.
Josh gets up from the bed and makes his way over to the fragile boy. He takes my hand in his and pulls me closer. Before I knew it his lips were connected with mine for the second time today and quite honestly I had no problem with it.

The kiss lasted a small while longer than the last when the two boys finally ran out of breath, they disconnected.
They sat in silence for a while, not awkward silence but just admiring each others company.

"Ty? What's the time?" Josh says whilst playing with my boney hands.
"Nearly five thirty" I sighed in reply, knowing josh needs to leave soon.
"I should prob-"
"Probably get going, I know" I say with a somber tone.
"Hey" josh says to me "it's not like I won't ever see you again" he says chuckling.
"I know I'll see you tomorrow but I know you won't talk to me josh" I say on the verge of tears.
"I-you know that I can't ty" josh says rubbing his forehead in frustration, not wanting to have this conversation with me again.
"Well" I say standing up "if we're ever going to be exclusive, you're going to have to talk to me sooner or later"
"What if I don't want to be exclusive Tyler?"
"Oh" I say, clearly affected by what he just said
"I think I should go" josh says starting to collect his stuff
"I think you should too" I say.
"Um, bye Tyler" josh says
"Bye"

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Hey guys, so I finally updated! This book is nearly at 100 views which is crazy :) please vote for it if you enjoys it!
- tilly
Instagram: @/aestheticsjoshua