A Bullet Through A Flock Of Doves

Thirty Three - A Love That's So Demanding

Frank had liked the babying and being taken care of for about the first twenty-four hours, and then it got really old, really fast.

On the first one or two days, Gerard seemed too skittish to so much as touch Frank, which was frustrating for both of them. Whenever Frank complained about it, Gerard insisted that Frank had to heal and recover first, then Frank argued he didn't need to heal, goddammit, he was fine, and then Gerard got angry, sullen, and finally sad. And the whole cycle just started over again.

"Gerard, for god's sake," Frank mumbled from where his face was smushed up against the pillow, "getting your ass into bed won't somehow hurt me, I promise." Gerard was standing unsurely near the edge of the hotel bed, his arms crossed and his face scrunched up.

"No, Frank," Gerard huffed, turning away and going to the kitchen, "for the last time, I'm not having sex with you."

"Goddammit, I just want to cuddle, please?"

Gerard raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, right. As if I'd do that, either. No."

"Gerard-"

"This conversation is over, Frank!" Gerard unlatched the door and, right before Frank's disbelieving eyes, he walked right out of the hotel room.

"Gerard! You fucker, get back here!" he yelled, sitting up in the bed and dashing over to the closed, and apparently also locked, door. Frank glared at the wood of the door accusingly, hands on his hips, and then collapsed face-first into the bed again. "I can move around just fine, Gerard, fuck you. God."

Despite this, though, he was snoring about five seconds later.

xoxoxo

It took five days of torturous "healing" and waiting before Frank finally got Gerard to fucking make out with him again, Jesus Christ. And that was only because Frank had woken up during the night to find Gerard pressed up against him with his face against Frank's neck, and wow, okay, Frank couldn't be expected not to take advantage of that situation.

He was fine, seriously. Gerard underestimated Frank's ass and its ability to heal.

Gerard was too sleepy to protest the kissing immediately, and his first instinct (surprisingly enough) was to open up to Frank, relaxing and letting him in, even going so far as to let Frank pin him down on the bed, kissing him fiercely. Which Frank was not against at all. It was a very, very rare occasion when Gerard was submissive at all; and sure enough, when Gerard regained full consciousness, he seemed to panic and flipped them over easily, holding Frank against the mattress and narrowing his eyes at him.

"Frank, what the hell?" he mumbled, although he was obviously staring at Frank's mouth.

"I promise I'll tell you if anything hurts," Frank told him, and then he wrapped a hand around the back of Gerard's neck and licked his way into his mouth again. Gerard make a faint sound of dissent, but Frank's persistent lips persuaded him to bite at them and eventually dig his teeth into Frank's neck, leaving faint red and violet trails of bruises in his wake. Frank sighed and let his head fall back against the pillow, leaving the exposed skin for Gerard to mark however he wished.

Eventually Gerard got bored with his neck and started licking at his collarbones, his chest, his nipples, but never going any lower. It was driving Frank crazy; but when he tried to tangle his hands in Gerard's hair and drag his head down, Gerard made a snarling sound and relocated back up to his earlobe, which he nipped sharply. "Remember your place," he hissed into his ear, and Frank smirked devilishly and bucked his hips up.

Gerard rolled his eyes and snapped, "Fucking fine," grabbing Frank through his boxers. Frank tried to grin and ended up moaning instead, whining when Gerard got rid of the clothing between them and started jerking him off. He was way too close already, just by watching the wet slide of his cock between Gerard's fingers.

Gerard seemed almost surprised when, maybe two minutes later, Frank started gasping and thrusting up before coming all over Gerard's hands and his stomach, breathing hard. Gerard looked quizzically at the mess on his palm and then said slowly, "That bad, huh?"

Frank frowned at him. "It's your fault."

"Since when have I ever been in charge of how you orgasm-"

Frank surged up to kiss him and muttered against his lips, "Since always, you dork."

xoxoxo

On the day after that, Gerard went out to "go buy some things." Frank wasn't too happy about it, but he kept quiet and pulled on some clothes (Gerard must've taken them to the laundromat at some point, because they were all clean), making his way to the kitchen. Maybe if he cooked, Gerard would be more likely to give him some more attention. It was stupid of him to be so desperate for the other; but Frank missed Gerard's usually frequent and familiar touch more than he'd thought he would. He wished he didn't. He hated being so dependent on another person, because that never ended well.

And honestly, he thought as he scrambled some eggs, it was only a matter of time before what he and Gerard had went sour. They were wanted criminals, for fuck's sake, and Gerard had said that the government might have an idea that they hadn't actually died. And they didn't have the healthiest relationship, either. An assassin with an insane power complex and serious anger issues, mixed with a man who'd lived in prison for four years and castrated all his past boyfriends...that couldn't possibly end well.

Yet, Gerard made Frank feel like none of his other relationships had. Of course there was the added power and control which was (fairly) new, but he also, against all odds, felt safe. He had no idea why, but he trusted Gerard. He really did.

Frank poured some milk in with the eggs and decided that he was thinking too much.

xoxoxo

Gerard showed up just as Frank was cleaning up his plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and an impromptu fruit salad in the sink. He'd left the leftover salad on the counter and the eggs in the microwave so Gerard wouldn't bitch about not having gotten any.

"You were busy while I was gone," Gerard said with interest, poking his head around the corner and tilting it to the side. "Keep eating as much as you are, and at this rate you'll get fat."

"Like you wouldn't love that," Frank scoffed, grabbing his small amount of pudge and shaking it. Gerard snorted and flipped him off, going over to the bed and dumping a bag on it. Frank peered over at it and could make out the letter X stamped three times on the plastic. His eyes widened as he dumped the plate in the little dish washer and scrambled over to look.

"You were pretty busy, too, it seems like," Frank said, rubbing his face against Gerard's back and reaching blindly into the bag. "Hmm...what's this?" He pulled out something which felt soft against his fingertips, and made a small sound when he saw what they were. "Handcuffs," he said, "really? Predictable," he muttered, clucking his tongue.

Gerard frowned at him, looking a little sad. "But they're nice," he insisted, unlatching one and putting it around Frank's wrist to show him. They were made of brown leather with a brass chain, and they were soft, like Frank had originally thought. But what really made Frank smile was the earnest expression on Gerard's face, bright and hopeful enough that it made him start giggling hopelessly, like the lunatic he was.

"Why are you laughing at me?" Gerard said, flushing and taking the cuff off. "Those were expensive, okay. I thought you'd like them."

"Yes, Gerard," Frank laughed breathlessly, "I like the handcuffs; love 'em." He shook his head and poked Gerard. "So fucking weird."

"You're one to talk," Gerard muttered defensively, but he didn't stop Frank from pulling the next item out.

Frank blinked at the long piece of metal in his hands for a while, puzzled, before it clicked and he dropped it on the bed like it was on fire, digging in the bag and quickly pulling out another set of cuffs; ankle cuffs with buckles on them used to attach a spreader bar to. Gerard was watching him, like he wanted to see his reaction, but Frank wasn't sure what his reaction to this should be. He didn't know how this could cause pleasure - it just looked really fucking uncomfortable - but then he remembered that it would be Gerard doing this to him and a hot rush of curiosity went through him. He supposed the redness of his face was answer enough to Gerard's unspoken question.

The next item was a small box, and when Frank opened it he saw it was full of small metal clips - snap clips. Those could be used creatively.

And then he took out the last thing and paused, turning it over in his hands. It wasn't hard to figure out what it was - it was a black ball gag, with a leather strap so it could fit around Frank's head. He studied it, and then looked up, his eyes meeting with Gerard's.

"You want me to wear this?" he asked softly, lowering his eyelashes. Fuck it. Frank was sick and tired of waiting around and being treated like a fragile doll. If this was the way to get Gerard to have his wicked way with Frank, then so be it.

Gerard's breath caught and he stared at Frank, raising a hand and wrapping his fingers around Frank's wrist, squeezing a little. "I want you to wear all of it," Gerard told him, brows furrowing and eyes darkening. "And I'm going to put it on you." Frank swallowed, noticing how Gerard's gaze was drawn to the movement of his Adam's apple. "Would you like that, Frankie?" he whispered, running his hands over Frank's biceps, reeling him in. "Bet you'll squirm...bet you'll beg me for it."

"Why don't you find out?" Frank suggested, and Gerard nodded, let him fall back on the bed.

"Strip," Gerard told him, and Frank did, being sure to stretch luxuriously once he was naked, making sure Gerard wouldn't even try to leave him hanging. Gerard was pulling his shirt over his head and his pants from his hips, until he was nothing but a living, breathing sculpture of marble skin and dark hair. Frank might have had pieces of art all over him, but Gerardwas a piece of art.

"Kneel," Gerard told him, and Frank did, getting on his knees on the soft mattress and waiting. He closed his eyes and pressed his palms flat against the sheets. The cotton slid smoothly across his already sweaty skin, and another person's skin touched them the next second, wrapping the cuffs around his wrists. Frank forced himself to keep his eyes shut, shivering at the hot whoosh of Gerard's breath over his spine as he moved farther down the bed and put the ankle cuffs on.

He braced himself for the spreader bar - he wasn't sure how far Gerard was going to go with this, considering that this was a weird and somewhat impossible position for full on sex, but Gerard was a weird dude and did weird things. Frank decided to just go with it, and when he felt the chill of the steel against his legs, he hoped more than ever that "it" wasn't going to be too much. Not tonight. Frank didn't care how they did this, so long as he was close to Gerard again; but he didn't want to wake up sore and achy and "in need of healing" all over again.

But the bar was set at a comfortable notch, and there was only a slight burn when Gerard's hands secured it, leaving Frank's legs locked in their current position. His head fell against his chest in relief, and then he felt Gerard's broad hands taking his arms, stretching them behind him. Frank tried to turn his head back, opening his eyes to look, but Gerard yanked a little and he got the message. Frank waited, his arms protesting at first to the odd angle as Gerard clipped his wrists and ankles together.

Frank opened his eyes then, hair falling into his face and shoulder muscles straining. He felt so terrifyingly vulnerable like this - all out in the open, with his torso arching back to where his arms were pulled tight. He had some leeway, was able to move a bit, but it was just limiting enough to make him feel like he was back in prison all over again. He felt helpless and tense and kept his eyes fixed on Gerard, who was watching him from the other end of the bed, the gag in his hands.

Frank opened his mouth without meaning to, like an invitation, and Gerard silently came closer, unlatching the ends of the gag and pushing it closer to Frank's face.

Frank growled.

He didn't really intend to do it, it just happened, but whatever the cause, it made Gerard's mouth twitch and his eyes harden. It was a clear warning, but Frank decided that he didn't want to make this as easy as it could be. Gerard had taken his own sweet time with prolonging this, preventing it from happening; so Frank decided he was entitled to do the same thing.

Gerard gave a long-suffering sigh and tried to push the ball between Frank's teeth, but he was baring them, so that didn't do much. He kept his mouth stubbornly closed even as Gerard shoved half-heartedly at his lips. "Frankie," Gerard said in annoyance, "don't be a bitch."

"It's Frank," he snapped, tossing his head and lifting it higher, looking Gerard in the eyes.

Gerard would not be dissuaded, and slammed the gag against Frank's lips, forcing it in, but Frank shook his head violently and stuck his tongue out because somehow he thought that would help. And it did the trick, although he probably looked ridiculous. But the gag still wasn't in his mouth, and that was a small victory.

"You're gonna fight me with this?" Gerard asked him, eyebrow cocked and mouth set in a thin line. He held up the gag. Frank remained stony faced, although inside he was grinning and cheering for himself. Even Gerard needed some lessons taught to him sometimes.

But he wasn't as happy a second later when Gerard was grabbing his jaw tightly, probably leaving finger shaped bruises behind. "Baby," he whispered, lips tickling Frank's cheek, "open your mouth for me and enjoy this, or I won't make it enjoyable at all. Trust me on that."

Frank looked at him lazily, not impressed.

"I try to be nice, and this is what happens," Gerard griped, and then he grabbed Frank's dick unexpectedly. Frank gasped at the contact, mouth gaping open, and Gerard took that as an opportunity to fill the space with the ball gag. Frank moaned around it, a line appearing between his eyebrows. He kept shaking his head, even as Gerard fastened it at the nape of his neck. Frank made an unhappy noise and Gerard looked disparagingly at him. "Really, Frank," he said, "I've been doing this much longer." Frank mumbled something unintelligible, and Gerard sighed. "Right. I'm going to give you this bell, and this is your safeword. If you drop it, I stop." He pulled something Frank had somehow missed out of the bag - a small, silver jingly bell, and pressed the cold surface into Frank's hot palm. His fingers closed awkwardly around it, head still lowered in embarrassment.

"Frank," Gerard murmured, touching his cheek and tipping his head up. Frank looked at him grumpily. "You're so beautiful like this," he told him, and Frank went still, hoping his eyes weren't too stupidly wide. Had Gerard ever said that before? Certainly not when they were both totally aware and staring at each other, like they were now. His heart thumped louder. Gerard's hands stroked over his chest, over the criss cross of scars which stood out from the curve of his body; thin and white-pink. "I wish I could draw you," Gerard said into his hair, head bowed, and Frank started to ask, "You draw?" but remembered he was incapable of saying anything. Still...the thought of Gerard bent over a piece of paper, sketching Frank like this...that wasn't even kinky, that was just...that was almost romantic. Sexy, maybe. Whatever it was, Frank wanted it, and his cock twitched against Gerard's thigh, pushed up against him.

"Mm," Gerard smiled, his hand closing lightly around Frank's hard-on, letting Frank thrust up into it. "You like that. I'll draw you someday...all your tattoos, fuck. At night, maybe, in moonlight..." And Gerard sounded almost dreamy. It would be so dumb, so silly, but somehow with Gerard's hand on his cock and Frank's body on display for the other's eyes only, it wasn't. It wasn't at all.

Frank made a needy sound when Gerard pressed a knuckle teasingly against his hole from between his legs, kneading it against lightly and making Frank rock against it. "Sorry," Gerard told him, taking the finger away from the sensitive skin. "Not today." Frank started off on a furious tangent of mumbles about how he was fine, Gerard wouldn't hurt him, he wouldn't use the goddamn safeword - but Gerard just mouthed at his taut shoulder and reached around, massaging his ass firmly and digging in a little. Frank wondered if there would be spanking involved. He wanted to ask, but was once again forced into silence. He didn't like the gag. He didn't like it at all.

Gerard's face hovered in front of his, and when Gerard leaned in to kiss him, he liked the gag even less. But Gerard didn't kiss him - he stuck his fucking tongue inside of Frank's mouth, alongside the ball so that it force Frank to open up a little wider. His own tongue was partly trapped under the ball, but he could still taste Gerard, still feel him, and that was what counted.

Gerard's hand was busy on his cock, pumping and squeezing and making Frank's legs weak. When he looked down, he could see how hard Gerard was, too - big and red and shiny with precum. It made Frank want to taste, but he couldn't, couldn't even touch - all he could do was push his belly forward and force the head of Gerard's dick to press into his belly.

The other moaned in surprise, pulling his tongue away from Frank's and dragging it up the side of his face instead. Frank's skin tingled where Gerard touched it, and he felt Gerard do the same that Frank had done to them - their bellies pushing together and smushing their cocks against one another in a dizzying sensation of friction and pleasure. Gerard's hand tightened on Frank's ass, tugging on the flesh and thrusting his hips against Frank's. It was at an odd angle because of Frank's curved body; but the angle made his cock stand out from his stomach and push better against Gerard's. It worked. Frank just kept bucking, rolling his body forward and dropping his head on Gerard's shoulder when the other leaned against him. Frank's arms were tired from holding him up, but when he started to fall a little, Gerard was there to hold him up, hands spread across his back.

Frank was making sounds, garbled and disjointed by the fucking ball gag, but they made Gerard kiss and suck everywhere available to him, made Gerard bite the juncture of his shoulder and neck, which was thick and probably covered in perspiration. The space between them was sweaty, too, now with Gerard's other hand working along with their bellies, sliding along both of their erections and holding them together.

It was a good system.

It only took a few more strokes of Gerard's palm, a couple slides of their bodies, and one press of Gerard's finger behind his balls before Frank was choking as he tried to cry out, spasming and coming hotly. Gerard was quick to follow, butting his head against Frank's hair when he did so and gripping Frank's ass harder than before, hands clenched on the soft, unmarked skin.

Frank was content to remain there in a post-lassitude state for only a little bit before he started snuffling and jerking his head back and forth. Gerard looked at him, unfocused, and then all but yanked the gag off so that he could kiss Frank properly. It took any soreness from the gag away quite successfully, and Gerard snaked his arms around to unlatch the snap clips and cuffs, too. Frank's body came unstretched like elastic; his arms wrapped at once around Gerard's waist, hands overlapping on his spine. The cuffs fell to the bed, and the spreader bar lay abandoned behind them as Frank straddled Gerard's sticky hips, hoping Gerard let him stay there a little bit longer. He liked this side of Gerard, the sweet, lazy side which was content to let Frank have some control and kiss him however deeply and as hard as he wanted to.

Gerard was soon laughing and overtaking him, though, cradling him against his body and retreating with Frank under the covers. Everything was quieter there, and the beating of their hearts was magnified in Frank's ears. He wanted to stay there forever, with no pain and no fear and no anger, just him and Gerard curled up like matching puzzle pieces, their lips interlocked.