Nyctophiliac🌙

4 | Youth

I was falling. It was an endless hole through time and space. I crossed my hands and closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation my mind created. Until my back crashed to the ground abruptly. My eyes immediately opened and I gasped in shock. I was in my own bed. Realization hit me, this was the eighth time I had woken up on my bed. Was I still in a dream this time? I was beginning to feel sick of the endless looping nightmares.

I looked outside the window and for the first time this night, I saw a beautiful sunrise. The birds chirped happily as they flew leisurely by. Either I was in a good dream or I really was awake in real life. I stupidly pinched myself, followed by my own screech. Yup, I was definitely awake. I sighed in relief. I went downstairs, my mom greeted me with her signature smile. We exchanged 'good mornings' before taking our seats.

Sometimes I wondered how mother managed to look almost the same in all these years, somehow it seemed like she hadn't been aging since I was born. She really was beautiful, considering she was forty eight years old.
"What are you staring at?" My mother laughed softly. Hell, even her voice sounded like an angel's voice from heaven.

"Just.. observing." I shrugged my shoulders and started diving through breakfast. "Hmm?" She beckoned me to continue. "You're just so.." I started. "Um- sorry, never mind, forget about it." I didn't know what to say, wouldn't it be weird if I had told my own mother she was beautiful? I didn't have the guts to do it. It only made my cheeks flushed by embarrassment. I wondered why I wasn't as pretty as her. At least that was what I thought.

"Well, if you were referring to my anti-aging face, I've been consuming a special tea that keeps my aging as slow as possible. It's your grandmother's secret recipe." She smiled at me. What was father thinking, leaving an amazing woman like her behind? That led me my to my next question I had been dying to ask.

"Mother, can I ask you something?" I started hesitantly. "Of course dear, anything." She took a sip of her lemon juice. "What were you and father arguing about the day he left? You've only mentioned that you were fighting that was why he left but you never told me why.." I mumbled, immediately regretting ever mentioning him.

One day I asked my mother where my father was. "When you were two years old, your father left us both. We were arguing about something you don't understand dear. When you're old enough, maybe I will tell you one day. All you have to know is that he was a bad person, he left us and he's never coming back. So don't you ever bring this up ever again, understood?" Mother said sternly that day. I was silent and hung my head low. She kissed my forehead. "Forget about him, dear. You have me and you always will." I smiled at her in adoration. Then I quickly snapped back to the present time.

"I'm afraid you won't understand, dear. I'll tell you when you're older." Mother said with a faint smile. "You said that years ago, look at me now.. I'll be seventeen soon mother. I deserve to know, don't you think?" I frowned. Even though mother said father was a bad person, I still had to know more about him. Not just his name or the fact that he was a bad man. I needed to know how he looked like, where he went, or why he left. He was my father after all.

"Are you sure you're ready dear?" Mother held my hand. "Yes, I've been ready my whole life mother." I assured her. She took a deep breath and started.
"When you were two years old, something unexpected happened. We argued because we had a completely different opinion and perspective of how we saw it. We were both stubborn and stood our own grounds. He hit me a few times and threatened to take you away from me." She stopped and shed a tear.

"Are you okay mother?" I walked up to her and embraced her with a warm hug.
"Yes." She said, trying to hide the pain behind her voice. "So then what happened after that mot-", "I think you've asked enough questions now, dear." She was hurt because I reminded her of father, so I let the matter slid away. "Oh, one more thing. Your cousin will be staying us for a few days." She quickly got off from her chair. "Who.. Charlie?" I didn't know how I felt about Charlie staying here. The last time I saw him was two years ago.