Tongue Tied (GxG) (Camren)

Chapter 15

Camila made a face as she picked up her tongs, staring at the dead frog in front of her, "Do we really have to do this?"

Lauren shrugged. Sure, the idea of dissecting a frog was disgusting, and maybe she'd even be throwing up a little right now, if a certain appointment later in the day hadn't taken over her mind.

Camila slowly reached into the open seam down the frog's stomach with her tool. Feeling around for a second, she grabbed for what she hoped to be an intestine and tugged it out only to be met with a face full of frog juice. "Ew! Oh my god! It got in my mouth!" she screamed as she ran around the room trying to find the sink. She quickly spit out the gross fluid and ran the water into her mouth in an attempt to flush out the taste.

Green eyes watched in subtle amusement. She wanted to laugh at her girlfriend's antics, but she couldn't even bring herself to smile. Her thoughts were consumed with the fact that her mom was making her go back to the one place that she hated, the place the ruined everything.

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"You've talked a lot about the guilt that you're feeling. Do you think that it could be directly related to Jade?" Kathryn Remenson's experienced eyes searched the bruised frame of the young girl as she spoke.

Lauren avoided eye contact as she thought about her therapist's question. The guilt wasn't Jade's fault. None of it was Jade's fault. It killed Lauren to see her girlfriend, the girl she had planned a future with, the girl she wanted to be with forever, unable to move in the stiff hospital bed. She had taken so much of her life away. Yeah, the doctor's said that she has a chance of being able to walk again, but that's going to take time and it'll never be like it was. She had ruined her life. But the guilt got worse every time she saw Jade in her condition.

Green eyes met the brown of her therapist's. She nodded her head slightly. While it wasn't Jades fault, having to see her like that made her feel even worse.

Remenson studied her carefully for a moment before speaking again, "Do you think that maybe breaking up with her would be a good idea?"

Lauren immediately shook her head no, upset that the suggestion was even made. Jade was everything to her, she couldn't leave her.

"Hear me out, Lauren," Remenson spoke evenly as she shifted in her black leather chair, trying not to upset the girl further. "You can't stay with her because you feel guilty about what happened. It wasn't your fault. Believing that it was is only going to make things worse for the both of you. I know that seeing her is a constant reminder for you, and that isn't going to change overnight. You need to either forgive yourself or move on."

A tear slid down Lauren's face. She and Jade should be able to make it work. If they really loved each other, it would all be okay, right? But that didn't change the fact that she'd never forgive herself. She couldn't. She had gotten off easy. Most people still thought she was normal if they didn't talk to her, and if they did try to have a conversation, she could sometimes get around speaking by just nodding or smiling. Jade's situation was completely different. She couldn't do anything on her own anymore whether it be showering or getting ready for bed or even going to the bathroom.

As the thoughts of what she had taken from Jade built up the guilt in her chest, she let out a heavy sob. She knew what she had to do. She had to break up with Jade.

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"Hey," Camila's voice brought Lauren back into the present, "Sh, it's okay, don't cry. I've got you." Camila wrapped her slightly taller girlfriend into a tight hug, running her fingers through raven coloured hair and rubbing circles in the small of her back to try to calm her down.