Almost There

Chapter 28 (thinking)

Do I really want to do this?

"Ross?"

"What?"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing...."

"Really? You want to talk about it?"

"It's just I'm thinking about taking away Tabitha's rights on Callie.."

"Why?"

"She's never there! She tells me one thing then does another! I know we aren't dating or anything, but she always lies to me! If she wants to keep Callie she needs to put forth the effort, which she still won't! She having sex with her co-workers."

"You still love her don't you?"

"Yea... I'm sorry, I'm just- I don't know."

"It's okay, I went through the same thing with Michelle's dad."

"Your not mad I'm hung up on my ex?"

"I've been there, it's okay."

"Thanks Denise."

She smiled and we kissed.
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I know this looks bad... ( or sounds sense this is a book...)

I went to talk to someone who is going/ went through what I am.

And I was rambling on and on, then instead of saying I was going to ask Tabitha out I asked Dense out...

Whoops!

Wait why am I still kissing her?
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I'm upside down on the couch while Callie "brushes" my hair.

"Ow! Callie stop pulling my hair out!"

"Don't hit me, meanie."

She just laughs at me.

"Your mean."

She claps.

"You are your mother's daughter."

Callie freezes and looks at me.

"You miss her, don't you?"

Callie pets my head.

"I'm sorry." I kiss Callie's little cheek and forehead.

Tabitha is never there, but do I really want to make her never be there?
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I was laying in bed with Callie sleeping next to me.

A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I have to do this."

"Callie say goodbye to your dad."

Then I did it.

I drug a blade over my wrist, with my little girl right next to me.
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I am the worst person in the world.
I self harm, in the same room as my kid.

I talked to Tabitha and she claim she's going to be a better mom.

And now I've been waiting three hours for her to show up.

Then my phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ross, it's me, I'm really sorry but-"

"Your not coming?"

"I'm sorry."

"Your not hurting me, but Callie has been staring out the window, waiting for three hours now."

"She has."

"Your only hurting her, stop, actually, you are not she mom anymore."

"Ross-"

"See you in court. And this time I mean it."

I hung up and picked up Callie.

"I'm sorry."

She was crying so much.

I tried to calm her down but nothing worked!

"Callie! What do you want me to do?"

"Mommy." Callie Anne's first word.