Part 50

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It's sad how things have to change. How the world moves on around you while you're stuck in one place for what seems like an eternity. People change a lot whether it's good or bad. You can't do anything about it. How people act from a week ago might be different to how they act now. Sudden changes are the worst. It's like you can't even tell who that person is anymore. How did it get to the point when I'm stuck writing in my old journal after a good couple of months I have a rough idea.

It started when the lovebirds moved out, Finland and Sweden, it wasn't that sudden. they had already told us before the wedding and we still had plans to see each other at least once or twice a month. They kept their word for a month or two. Then I didn't see them anymore. They seemed happy on Facebook with their new son, Sealand, so I didn't want to interfere and ask why the hell they weren't talking to us anymore.

Then Iceland started acting strangely. He wouldn't let me see the multiple texts he was getting, the cuts and bruises he had while going on his daily "walks" was enough to get me worried. But my main concern was the flinching. If I tried to grab his arm or touch me in any way he would instinctively move. I wanted to help him but I didn't know how. I didn't want to yell at him because the last time that happened... it didn't go so well. 

And Denmark. There are so many good things I can say about him. He's the highlight of my entire existence, his smile can light up the universe, everything he does is so clumsy yet so controlled. Love is a beautiful thing some can say but it's too beautiful. He's too good for me. Waking up with him by my side makes my heart fill with joy but my brain always screws it up. I'm not good enough for him, I can never be good enough for him. Why did he choose me?

I'm not giving up to the urge yet. I've gone so long without hurting myself I can do it again. I can keep it to myself. I can fix everything. I will.


I'm so sorry if this is out of character I've spent so long off the Hetalia fandom I hardly know the characters anymore 

but of course its Hetalia, I've come back to the hell.

If there are any inconsistencies tell me and ill fix them 

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