Troyler AU

Chappie 8

it took Troye less than three steps out of that classroom for the smile to fade off his face.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He’d been okay the first time. The excuse was easy. He’d been drunk. He always got slutty when he was drunk. He hadn’t even known what he’d been doing! He could’ve slept with anyone in that drunken state, without even realising.

This time he hadn’t been drunk.

His mind scrambled for excuses. He’d been too surprised to push him off… He was so sexually frustrated anyone would’ve done… He was a nearly 19 year old boy, he was allowed to experiment, it didn’t mean anything… Troye sighed. Weak excuses weren’t making him feel better this time. If that teacher hadn’t walked in, who knows what would have happened!

Troye’s subconcious was telling him relentlessly that he knew exactly what would have happened, that if that teacher hadn’t walked in, he would have slept with Tyler, again, sober, in the middle of his English classroom.

He stopped abruptly when he realised he had walked all the way home, lost in his head. At the sight of his house, guilt clutched his throat, making it hard to breathe. He didn’t know how to handle this; these thoughts, these feelings, the ones he’d shoved away over and over, and tried so hard to ignore. He knew that his parents could never, ever know. He took a deep breath, and pushed them down again. He walked inside, greeted his parents, and headed straight to his room, thanking his acting skills profusely.

He put on some youtube videos, turning up the volume and consciously giving them all his attention, and before long it was dinner. That’s when the guilt rushed back with force, when his family was joining hands to say grace. His parents had very… traditional values. They were old style catholics, very into manners and respecting your elders. They were absolute homophobes. Troye could feel his throat close up and his hands shake just thinking about what they would do to him if they found out what he had done. He could feel bile rising in his throat, as he tried desperately to push away the thoughts. All he could think about was a memory from when he was little, walking with his parents past a gay couple, and watching them spit at their feet. It was on replay in his head, over and over and over and over and

Everything’s okay. It’s just a normal night.

He tried to take deep breaths, staring at his normally delicious-looking food, which wasn’t looking so appetising anymore.

“Troye, why are you wearing your scarf at the dinner table?”

“Oh, I’m, very cold. I think I might be coming down with something. I don’t want to  get sick…”

he could hear the occasional clanking of cutlery against dinner plates.

“Alright.”

Troye silently let out a breath, again thanking his acting skills.

…………………………..

They managed to more or less avoid each other for the rest of the week. Troye cut english, sitting out by the dumpsters and putting in his headphones, putting his music on high and taking swigs from the flask of vodka he’d taken to keeping in his jacket pocket, or wandering down to the 7/11 the next block over to steal one of those travel bottles of nutella. He saw Tyler in the hallways, but Troye avoided eye contact and so did he. Troye was exhausted. He’d barely slept, and when he had, he’d  been plagued with dreams that made him wake up breathless and covered in a layer of sweat. Half of him was still trying to figure it all out, but the other half was telling him to ignore it, and that side was definitely winning.

It didn’t happen. If I don’t think about it, it didn’t happen.

Tyler was using different methods. He’d gone to variety of bars throughout the week, getting drunk and sleeping with strangers. But he still felt like he had Troye etched all over him, on the nail marks on his back and the fading bruises on his neck. He kept feeling the ghost of Troye’s lips on his collarbones. He knew he had to get over this. Troye was his student, for god’s sake!

Troye hadn’t been coming to class, and Tyler was glad. He hoped he stayed away.

He held up two shirts, comparing, before throwing them both into his suitcase. He was not in a good mood. He glared at his suitcase, as if he might be able to scare it into letting him not go to camp. He’d practically begged the principal to let him miss it, but it had been too late by then to pull out. He was going to camp. With Troye. And they were going to be in the same cabin.Tyler huffed as he attempted to zip up his bulging suitcase, brain running overtime.

It’s okay. This will be fine! I’m going to go to camp, have fun, then come home. Nothing’s going to happen!

I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off him. We’re sleeping in the same fucking room.

I’m an adult. I have self restraint. It’ll be fine.

He screwed his face up in frustration at the combination of his flustered thoughts and overpacked suitcase, which would not close.

I probably should’ve started packing before the night before I’m meant to leave…

He gave up, pulling some of his clothing into another small bag before heading to bed, willing himself to go to sleep.

The faster I get there, the faster I can leave, right?

AN: Sorry for taking such a long time to update, I literally rewrote this chapter like seven million times trying to get it right! Sorry if it sucks, it's just a bit of a filler chapter, but I felt it was necessary... Anyway next chapter should coming soon, and I am very excited!!!!!! Hope you enjoyed xxx

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