I want to end this suffering that I feel everyday. I don't like this feeling anymore. Everything in this world just wants to break me down, and kill every bit of happiness I own. I was so happy here, I've been through so much drama, but I was happy. I don't want to go back to where "I belong" because, it won't ever be the same.
My parents don't even like me. They say I cause so much trouble. They say my friends are stupid. They say, that I'm a disappointment. I know I am a disappointment, so why do you still have me? My dad called me a whore at the dinner table, and I just, don't want to be on this Earth. When I am happy, the world likes to just shove everything it has on my shoulders.
I love my friends. I would do anything and everything for them. Even, if it causes people to hate me. Why do people hate people? I have at least 20 people who hate me on this planet, because I just don't look a certain way or act a certain way. I have suicidal issues. I admit that part. This is one of the times, where I don't want to be here. I just want to die. Die. Die. Die. Die.
I hate suffering. I hate crying. I hate how I look in the mirror. I hate everything. I hate how I'm so obnoxious and annoying. I hate how I forgive people so easily. I hate, how every little bit of happiness gets thrown into the garbage. I hate how I have to move. I hate using the word hate. I hate how I'm so suicidal. I hate how I think everyone hates me. I just hate myself. If I do die in the future, I'm sorry. I just give up on life.
Please, end this suffering asap.
-angelica.
